Movie Reviews
This is a space for some reviews of movies ive watched .. to keep track of them for myself and to get practice in writing again for my final year at uni. If anyone has seen any of the movies i've commented on, please leave feedback on your views.
Excalibur
Man, I don't even know where to start on this movie. Firstly I had to keep checking whether it was Monty Python flick..
The next thing you know the king is banging some chick in front of an infant, but you're not sure whether it's him or not ?? ..
Then just to confuse you even more, she gives birth two minutes later, not even a sign of pregnancy or a note saying 9 months later.
To throw matters into even more confusion, the guy was actually not the guy you're suppose to have thought it was.
Admittedly I was only half paying attention, but I was confuzzled as shit.
Next he gets his ass kicked, and there is green light shining off the armour and swords, I don't get it. This is when the king puts his sword (Excalibur) in the stone just before his death, with a curse of only his blood can take it out. As whoever pulls the sword out will be king.
Well, the next scene the knights are jousting, to see battle of the fittest to test who can pull the sword out.
You got that old man from the tv show Keeping Up Appearances, Hyacinth Bucket's husband, *clive swift*commenting how its not as bad as it looks as knights are oozing with blood profusely getting flown and trampled on by horses while knights full of deep malice for one another attacking each other with medieval weapons..
Then Partrick Stewart (Captain Jean Luc Picard) looks like he's extremely constipated when he tries to pull out Excalibur from the stone.
Others try to pull the sword out, the director (John Boorman) must have instructed them to just try and look as constipated as possible.
Arthur (king's son) is now a squire .. he is a really clumsy degenerate fuck, with an irish accent ?? While he looks for his masters sword, he randomly hop scotches over peoples head .. this is suppose to be the hero of the movie ??
Arthur pulls out the sword, and is by himself in the forrest ... he clearly sees a snake, turns his back to it, then touches it and acts shocked .. he does the same repeatedly - while occasionally goin' cross eyed .. must have a memory span of two seconds .. its stopped being funny now, its boring.
I checked the timer , it had nearly 2 hours left - after fast forwarding it I got a glimpse of Liam Neelson looking very young, and a but naked guy fighting a knight. I couldn't handle it, so I decided to check out another movie.
Overall 1 outta 5
The Killing
This movie's in black/white. Its pretty cool, You feel sorry for the character George, who is married to a lying dirty cheating manipulative whore, but its cool 'cause he shoots her in the end, and he dies too , which is justified for being such a tool.
Its based around a mob syndicate robbing two million bucks from a dog racing track. The story goes in between characters on the day of the robbery, to show how its executed which was done well with good continuety.
The ending is awesome like a typical kubrick movie.
A simple stupid incident screws up the whole heist after the crux of it was operated and executed perfectly. It was so good in contrast to the other movie, Excalibur, it gets top marks from me.
Overall 5 out of 5