(no subject)
i have worked up so sexual stuck in my head.
mom is being mean and grouchy. its not my fault shes up this early..
and all i want to do. is take the thirty seven dollars i have fill up my tank and head down the i-5 south.
and just go. knowing ill never make it to san diego on thirty five dollars. ill have to stop at a rest area or gas station. offering sexual favors[?] for money. sexual favors being of course because i dont have any talents or anything.and i am therefore usless.
knowing this. he might not even want me anymore. and the whole trip would of been useless.
th e end.
maybe not. i wish i didnt have to drive sixteen hours to see him. or spend one hundred dollars on gas for my way down there. i wish i couldjust look over at the couch/passanger side of my truck/bed/ anywhere. and just see him. him. its driving me crazy that all i want is him and hes so far. and for some reason it feels like the universe is trying to tell me something.
i had this dream about four days ago and i only remember one part. his parents were gonna send him away to like salt lake. or england or something. and i said no. ill stay away. just dont make him go that far. i couldnt stand the distance to be any greater.
maybe somebody is trying to tell me something. for a while i had everything i wanted.
and then it all went to shit.
i wonder what i did so wrong. i have to go get mady and ashley for breakfast.
ah. to figure out the money situation.
mom is being mean and grouchy. its not my fault shes up this early..
and all i want to do. is take the thirty seven dollars i have fill up my tank and head down the i-5 south.
and just go. knowing ill never make it to san diego on thirty five dollars. ill have to stop at a rest area or gas station. offering sexual favors[?] for money. sexual favors being of course because i dont have any talents or anything.and i am therefore usless.
knowing this. he might not even want me anymore. and the whole trip would of been useless.
th e end.
maybe not. i wish i didnt have to drive sixteen hours to see him. or spend one hundred dollars on gas for my way down there. i wish i couldjust look over at the couch/passanger side of my truck/bed/ anywhere. and just see him. him. its driving me crazy that all i want is him and hes so far. and for some reason it feels like the universe is trying to tell me something.
i had this dream about four days ago and i only remember one part. his parents were gonna send him away to like salt lake. or england or something. and i said no. ill stay away. just dont make him go that far. i couldnt stand the distance to be any greater.
maybe somebody is trying to tell me something. for a while i had everything i wanted.
and then it all went to shit.
i wonder what i did so wrong. i have to go get mady and ashley for breakfast.
ah. to figure out the money situation.