can you believe i still have this thing?
wel im kind of glad .. now i can write away my troubles and since no one is on this thing any more.. no one will critisize... spell check that one..lol.. well yeah...things havent been the same since this whole situation. people arent what they used to be. life just doesnt seem right. i wish i could go up to west palm beach this weekend and just escape. but what good will that do me. i will just blame myslef for missing him so much and not being able to see him. forget about that idea. my birthday is in 4 months. very exciting.. i turn 20. seems like the years just go by without any meaning. i thought this year would have had more meaning than i feel right now but shit happens. i cant control shit. when it wants to come out .. it comes out. its funny im looking at that icon and i put it there a while ago.. when he would steal those kisses from me .. and made sure that it was HIM taking them from me. making sure that i wouldnt fall deeper into him than i already was. little did he know.. that fell hard. shit i think i broke my heart for real on the way down. something in there hurts. and there are very few people that can make me stop thinking about it. let alone make it stop hurting. in fact i dont think i know any one but this one person that can fix this pain. but oh well. this is getting depressing. lets talk about somethign more upbeat.. HA.. that was funny .. there is nothing upbeat! same old shit different day and different ways of dealing with it. let me tell u that the saying "whatever doesn tkill u makes u stronger" is so true.. i think im my strongest right now.. emotionally anyways.. i dont think there is anything anyone can say to make me feel like shit. i am obviously going to consider what they say.. check if it is a fac tor not and continue with my life. well i gots to go.. my mommy peachy is down here this weekend.. so im going to go hang out with her for a while.. nothing better to do...
tata
tata