just chillin

[speechless_star]

yeah i still have this thing..lol.. but yeah i did fall for that myspace thing..lol.. well right now im just sitting here at my boyfriends job watching him work very hard. its funny its at times like this that i miss the people that i held close to me so much. today i wanted to call you.. i wanted to run to your job and surprise u and get u something for your birthday because a phone call is nothing something i would do to someo ne that shared so much with me. i was thinking about that night that we had.. that night that no one til this day knows about.. that night that i can honestly say no one will ever know.. we realized how people really are. its kind of funny cause i dont think u will ever read this since u seemed to have found your happiness.. with people taht wont fuck you over like i did.. im sorry.. and i do miss u .. i wonder if u think about me? i wonder if u talk about me.. and if udo is it good? well enough about that.. i also thinka bout how a year ago i was thinking thigns so different. how i was with some one .. some one that i thought was good for me.. but i see that he has yet to grow up because he doesnt even want to be friends.. and when we talk.. we argue.. this shouldnt be like this. and its funny.. some one randomlly asked me if i was happy and if he was what i wanted.. and i did not hesitate to say yes. i know that hes been through alot and we sacraficed a shit load of stuff just to be with each other but its worth it. u told me that he would never love me like u did .. or still do.. i think he loves me more.. i think he sees beyond the fact that am immature at times but sees my defaults and just helps me cope with them .. rather than tell me what to do.. he advises me.. and if i chose to make a decision taht he does not agree with .. he doesnt get upset and if i have to learnt he hard way.. he doesnt sit there and tells me i toldu so and doesnt even let me cry. in fact he is the only one who is there telling me.. cry on my shoulder. and her.. i know that if she knew what i was going through at that point she would be there with open arms regardless of what happened. i think ive done enough writing for today.. i love you guys.. and even though we dont hang out and go to the races and eat shit all the time i do still think about you.. even though u called me a hoe for no reason .. and told me u were going to hit me.. jerk. but i dont mind.. and even though u egged my boyfriends car.. its ok..and even if u call my boyfreind at all hours of the day. its ok.. KARMA.. im going to sit back and when u need me i am NOT going to turn my back on you. and that i stand by.. i dont care who ever tells me that im wrong for saying that but im dead ass serious..

well its time for me to go..take care...and please be thoughful when writing back.. like dont insult me.. please.. my emotions are not going to take that nicely..please.. id idnt offend no one here.. be as curteous.. spell check..

tata -n- rey