(no subject)
over the years I've come to several realizatios:
I'm not pretty enough
I don't have big enough boobs
I'm violent
I'm moody
I"m emotional
I'm not good at day to day friendships
when I snap it's all over
and I can't deal with drama or my mom
But never in my 17 years have I come to the realization that I don't exist unless I am the first one to say something
I just don't
99 percent of my friends are people that had I not gone up and said soemthing to them they wouldn't be my friends now
99 percent of those people don't say hi to me or notice that I'm there unless I walk up to them and say something
and about 60 percent of those people don't bother to confront me when they have a problem
I used to be the person everyone turned to now I'm the person that 2 people turn to
I used to know who to turn to when i was upset and now I really don't have anyone
I used to think that it mattered if I was somewhere but after today I've come to the realization that the only people who notice that I'm gone are the ones that are warned that I'm leaving
I have a pager and only 3 people use it my dad my boyfriend and rachel
my away message is up and I come home no messages
I am online and available and I get maybe 2 at most unless I talk to people.
I'm giving up I don't care anymore if you want to be my friend you want to be my friend and you know what that entails other wise stay out of my life I don't want anyone in my life that doesn't think I exist nor do I want anyone in my life who acts like I don't exist.
I don't want people who are leachy but I want someone to ask me how my day was
I want someone to say hi to me to purposely seacrch me out not for me to have to find them every day
that's it I quit
I'm not pretty enough
I don't have big enough boobs
I'm violent
I'm moody
I"m emotional
I'm not good at day to day friendships
when I snap it's all over
and I can't deal with drama or my mom
But never in my 17 years have I come to the realization that I don't exist unless I am the first one to say something
I just don't
99 percent of my friends are people that had I not gone up and said soemthing to them they wouldn't be my friends now
99 percent of those people don't say hi to me or notice that I'm there unless I walk up to them and say something
and about 60 percent of those people don't bother to confront me when they have a problem
I used to be the person everyone turned to now I'm the person that 2 people turn to
I used to know who to turn to when i was upset and now I really don't have anyone
I used to think that it mattered if I was somewhere but after today I've come to the realization that the only people who notice that I'm gone are the ones that are warned that I'm leaving
I have a pager and only 3 people use it my dad my boyfriend and rachel
my away message is up and I come home no messages
I am online and available and I get maybe 2 at most unless I talk to people.
I'm giving up I don't care anymore if you want to be my friend you want to be my friend and you know what that entails other wise stay out of my life I don't want anyone in my life that doesn't think I exist nor do I want anyone in my life who acts like I don't exist.
I don't want people who are leachy but I want someone to ask me how my day was
I want someone to say hi to me to purposely seacrch me out not for me to have to find them every day
that's it I quit