Yeah yeah yeah I've heard it all..
So I am at Chris'. Gr, he erased all the music I've downloaded on his puter, which wouldn't be a big deal if one of the cds I burned wasn't so scratched that it wont play. Erg! So yeah I got an email that said Miranda Lambert was gonna be on TV today, but apparently it was an old email, and she must have been on last week or something.
So yeah.. I think I am going to like I dunno, have a melt down soon, I think I am over due for one.. Things with Chris are going well.. but I just feel that maybe emotionally we aren't going the speed I'd like, and I know you can force these things, but sometimes it's so hard for me to stick with something that I feel isn't nearly as important and meaningful to the other party as it is to me, but yanno what, nothing I can do. I've tried my best to explain myself to him on way more than one occasion, and yanno, I can't keep burdening him or I might as well just tell him to get lost, because it's the same thing as pushing him away slowly with all these conversations I have. I dunno, I know he has to feel something towards me, not that I could tell ya what that is.. but yeah. And then sometimes, I think there is nothing I'd want to change about or relationship.. except that issue he has with me and Agnieszka, dude, I can't help it, she's hot. I know that he thinks it's weird, and apparently girls are just as much cheating as guys are in his eyes, but what am I susposed to do, I wont act on my feelings, but I am not going to make them go away. I am not ashamed of my sexual preferance, but I can't respect him, and see that I will just have to deal. Lol. Sometimes I think too much like a guy. But that's why Zach and Rob and Tom love me.. I fit right in. If I were a guy, I'd be happy and think it's cool that my gf checked out more girls than I did.. I dunno, now I am just rembling and not reeally making a point, not that I think I had one to begin with.. I just hope that this situation matures more emotionally, than it has physically in the last few months. Ok I am done.
So yeah.. I think I am going to like I dunno, have a melt down soon, I think I am over due for one.. Things with Chris are going well.. but I just feel that maybe emotionally we aren't going the speed I'd like, and I know you can force these things, but sometimes it's so hard for me to stick with something that I feel isn't nearly as important and meaningful to the other party as it is to me, but yanno what, nothing I can do. I've tried my best to explain myself to him on way more than one occasion, and yanno, I can't keep burdening him or I might as well just tell him to get lost, because it's the same thing as pushing him away slowly with all these conversations I have. I dunno, I know he has to feel something towards me, not that I could tell ya what that is.. but yeah. And then sometimes, I think there is nothing I'd want to change about or relationship.. except that issue he has with me and Agnieszka, dude, I can't help it, she's hot. I know that he thinks it's weird, and apparently girls are just as much cheating as guys are in his eyes, but what am I susposed to do, I wont act on my feelings, but I am not going to make them go away. I am not ashamed of my sexual preferance, but I can't respect him, and see that I will just have to deal. Lol. Sometimes I think too much like a guy. But that's why Zach and Rob and Tom love me.. I fit right in. If I were a guy, I'd be happy and think it's cool that my gf checked out more girls than I did.. I dunno, now I am just rembling and not reeally making a point, not that I think I had one to begin with.. I just hope that this situation matures more emotionally, than it has physically in the last few months. Ok I am done.