The sensation of shooting one's self in the foot

[spectre_39]

It's done. I called Sgt. Royster and requested a DEP discharge. He asked me why I was dropping out. I told him that I needed the service more than I wanted it, and the service needs people more committed to the needs of the service than I. I stated that I intended to work my way through college instead. (I decided against mentioning another branch

Comments

[spectre_39]

I think it could best be described as grieving for the "easy option" of just waiting it out. My involvement with the Air Force was the closest I had come to getting to college. If I gritted my teeth long enough I could have made it work. But in rejecting that potential future, I have empowered myself to do something about my fate. And that sensation... has been missed.

My strategy with the Coast Guard is basically a siege of the recruiting office. When I move to Mobile, I'll be living within a short drive of the office. Last time it was 100 miles, and the Air Force office here in GA is about 35 miles away. Being in the neighborhood will have its benefits.

Yeah, I wouldn't say I hate my country or wish it to fail. It's just in the past years of growing up during the Iraq War has made me question the wisdom of prolonged occupation and the tangible benefit of conquering the Middle East. It just doesn't seem productive to participate in the war if history will mock us for our knee-jerk strategies. Now, if the world weren't so complicated and our freedom's were genuinely threatened by a foreign military... or zombies, then I would have much fewer qualms about rifle butting a guy in the face. The trick is whether or not the guy deserved it or wasn't a civilian. And for that matter, would I be deserving a bash to the face for my participation? Huh.

But saving lives? That can never be called into question. So I never have any doubts about a term in the Coast Guard. Everything they do has a positive direct benefit to our countrymen. Hurricane Katrina, the Hudson River Crash, the BP Oil Spill, and countless times ships capsize on Deadliest Catch. That's work I can always be proud of.

Yeah, I think I'm going to be alright. It's just that my future now relies entirely on the efforts I generate for myself.

Anyway, just because I'm out of the running for the Air Force doesn't mean I'll be any less interested in your own adventures. You've been entertaining to say the least. Thanks for keeping up with my crazy green interwebs journal.