Who Watches the Watchmaker?
"Now that's everything. No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away, and what's left?"
"Me."
"My name is Zuko. Son of Ursa and Fire Lord Ozai, Prince of the Fire Nation, and heir to the throne!"
"Dreams are just that. They're dreams. They help get you through the day."
"So what are you saying, you want me to make your decisions for you?"
"I don't know, I can't decide."
Prison Break
Okay, that ending was SWEET. I love it. I thought Kellerman was kind of a doof throughout the first season, but he's become a really cool character. How great is it that he's only helping Michael and Linc to screw over the people who screwed him over? The plot and character relationships have become REALLY convoluted, such that I can't tell who's on what side and how many sides there even are. It's kind of fun. And who's the old guy that Kim reports to?
Am I to take it that the bizarrely dramatic scene with razor blades and the mirror was just her cutting off a piece of mirror to give herself a haircut? O...kay. Not much of a disguise there, Dr. Sara. You're still incredibly pretty. But I loved her phone message to Michael, because, really, he is the only person she can trust anymore, and she needs him. Aw.
Heroes
Why, look at this! It is my weekly SLAPPING OF THE HEROES PROMO GUY FOR MAKING SHIT UP AGAIN. We didn't learn how or why or any of that shit, fool. But let's go through what all we DID learn.
It was really weird to see the characters six months ago; things were quite different back then!
Eden was using her powers for criminal purposes, ha. Look at her Evil Long Hair! The Haitian Sensation can apparently dampen people's powers, maybe? He can...do something. We've seen him mindwipe people. What the fuck is his actual power??
Mr. Bennet didn't know Claire was special all her life, it seems. Or...maybe he did. It's still a little unclear; maybe he was acting for Papa Suresh's benefit. In any case, we know he only recently found out about Papa Suresh and sent Eden after him, again for the purposes of protecting his daughter. Is this fatherly love, or does he just not want anyone getting in the way of whatever plans he may have for her? He had to have known about Claire's powers beforehand; he and the OWI have been collecting Heroes for years. However they were finding them, he shouldn't have been surprised by Suresh's board. Maybe he thought of him as competition.
Claire is so cute. This is not new information, but I thought I'd mention it. Also, her healing powers matured over time, obviously, although we still have no idea why the powers began to manifest. Eden had clearly had her powers for a while to have racked up a record like that. Mr. Bennet gets Claire bears from around the world, hence the nickname "Clairebear." I still want to know Mr. Bennet's goddamn first name.
Matt's wife still loved Matt back in the day. And Matt can't read. Which is why he can't pass his detective exams. Yawn?
Oh, the fucked-up Petrellis. Rena Sofer is very pretty. Mrs. Petrelli was very supportive of Peter's new job initially, despite what we saw in the pilot. Mr. Petrelli, who is very likely to have had powers, was connected to Linderman somehow, and did we even know Nathan was a lawyer? Nathan is totally responsible for Heidi's Locke problem because he fucking FLEW OUT OF THE CAR WTF. I...am not sure I like that. Because I don't know what Nathan remembers. Because I love the moment at the end of the pilot when Nathan flies because it's the first time he's flown and he's completely baffled. But if this, instead, was the first time, and he tried to deny it for six months until it happened again to save his brother rather than save his own fucking skin, that moment plays differently. Almost like a rebirth. And Peter has prescient dreams. Hrm. And this is dad's death, that was actually a suicide, not a heart attack. All conveniently happening six months ago. Oh, narrative contrivances.
Hiro can't save Charlie because she was going to die no matter what. What the hell, guys?! I was sure he was going to save her, else why have him go back? I guess to teach him a lesson (and also to cover their asses, since if Hiro were able to save Charlie, the viewer would constantly be asking Hiro to go back and fix things). I wonder what the hell he was doing with his timeshifts back then, though. Because he seemed so scared to attempt teleporting again, and yet he was getting flowers and tickets to Japan and all sorts of things by doing the Hiro Brow Furrow. I had to assume he was just doing his old time-stopping trick, which he was pretty good at. I wonder why he got flung back to Japan six months later, though. And he said he took a bus to the diner, but did he manage to teleport to Texas properly? I'm not sure how well he can use his powers now.
Niki was an alcoholic? That's new. And D.L. was an ex-con before Jessica framed him? And Niki had a sister named Jessica that their dad killed or something? I did like that we got an explanation for Jessica: that she is just a split personality of Niki's borne out of trauma, someone created to take the pain so that Niki would be okay. I like that idea, especially because it makes it a lot more clear why Jessica turned out that way. The problem is, of course, that Jessica seems to realize that Niki's body has superstrength, whereas Niki is unaware. This makes no sense, so I am guessing that Niki may discover her powers on her own eventually. If she ever regains control of her body, that is. Split personalities are fun!
I feel like an idiot for not realizing Gabriel was Sylar until, you know, ten seconds before they told us. I was wondering why the hell we were focusing on this Clark Kent lookalike, and then they gave us this Brian Davis telekinetic fool, and as soon as I saw him, I realized, "...Uh, that's clearly not Sylar." (Ooooh shit, the Internet reminds me that the camera has been very interested in Sylar's WATCH, and now we fucking know why. He's a watchmaker. (Also, did you guys know there is, of course, a Heroes wiki that's already been updated with information from tonight's episode?)) So, oddly enough, Gabriel's power seems pretty similar to Micah's. And Rae is laughing over in Florida because Gabriel's ability to recognize when things are "broken" seems to apply to humans as well, BUT A) HE IS CRAZY and B) THAT DOES NOT MEAN MICAH WILL REARRANGE D.L.'S INSIDES TO SAVE HIM.
Why do the Sureshes all suck? You peg a guy as having a power, and he can fucking hear that your watch is TWO SECONDS BEHIND and now appears to have completed rebuilding a decades-old watch that he had been working on for SEVEN YEARS HENCE, and you have the idiotic gall to claim he may not be special? Way to stick by your theories, asshole. You really did create Sylar. It's all your fucking fault. And, what, you don't question that the dude steals the address of someone with telekinesis and then comes back the day WITH TELEKINESIS? What, do you think this was just some LATENT POWER of his? THE MAN EATS BRAINS, IDIOT. HE THINKS IT IS HIS EVOLUTIONARY IMPERATIVE FOR SOME REASON. No, I am honestly confused as to WHAT THE FUCK DR. SURESH THOUGHT when Gabriel comes back with telekinesis. Is he COOL with the brain-eating? I mean, does he fucking encourage it? How long do they interact before he realizes Gabriel's become Sylar and gone off the deep end? Because he labels the tape "Sylar," not "Gabriel Gray." Also, Sylar? SURESH HAD A PICTURE OF CLAIRE ON THE FUCKING WALL AND YOU STILL KILLED THE WRONG CHEERLEADER.
Overall, I thought the episode was a little slow, and I was a little worried that the cracks were finally starting to show, that the inevitable disappointment in a show that manages not to disappoint was soon to come. But I hope I'm wrong.
Studio 60
See, if Sorkin were a Jump, Little Children fan, he would have called this episode "B-13." The non-linear narrative was a little hard to follow, but I eventually got the hang of it, mostly. The Deal or No Deal monologue was genuinely clever and funny, and props to Howie Mandel, because I was actually confused initially as to whether it was part of the act or not.
I don't understand why Harriet cannot tell a joke. It's really not that hard. Honestly.
I liked the general plot of the episode, which centered around the difficulty of filming a live broadcast when half your cast is sick and real-life tragedy just made one of your sketches inconveniently tasteless. This is all the show needs to be about, okay? The Big Issues will tackle themselves. Don't go after them. Let them come to you.
Go Susanne!
Jordan MacDeere continues to fucking rock. I totally agree with her that the audience does not fucking care about her. Her personal life is not going to keep people from watching the network. Crappy shows are going to keep them from watching the network. Jack, though, is totally right too, in that, um, her bosses fucking care, and that's what matters at this point. Also, he called her JMac. Ha.
Hey, Jordan's pregnant! No one saw that coming, right?
"Me."
"My name is Zuko. Son of Ursa and Fire Lord Ozai, Prince of the Fire Nation, and heir to the throne!"
"Dreams are just that. They're dreams. They help get you through the day."
"So what are you saying, you want me to make your decisions for you?"
"I don't know, I can't decide."
Prison Break
Okay, that ending was SWEET. I love it. I thought Kellerman was kind of a doof throughout the first season, but he's become a really cool character. How great is it that he's only helping Michael and Linc to screw over the people who screwed him over? The plot and character relationships have become REALLY convoluted, such that I can't tell who's on what side and how many sides there even are. It's kind of fun. And who's the old guy that Kim reports to?
Am I to take it that the bizarrely dramatic scene with razor blades and the mirror was just her cutting off a piece of mirror to give herself a haircut? O...kay. Not much of a disguise there, Dr. Sara. You're still incredibly pretty. But I loved her phone message to Michael, because, really, he is the only person she can trust anymore, and she needs him. Aw.
Heroes
Why, look at this! It is my weekly SLAPPING OF THE HEROES PROMO GUY FOR MAKING SHIT UP AGAIN. We didn't learn how or why or any of that shit, fool. But let's go through what all we DID learn.
It was really weird to see the characters six months ago; things were quite different back then!
Eden was using her powers for criminal purposes, ha. Look at her Evil Long Hair! The Haitian Sensation can apparently dampen people's powers, maybe? He can...do something. We've seen him mindwipe people. What the fuck is his actual power??
Mr. Bennet didn't know Claire was special all her life, it seems. Or...maybe he did. It's still a little unclear; maybe he was acting for Papa Suresh's benefit. In any case, we know he only recently found out about Papa Suresh and sent Eden after him, again for the purposes of protecting his daughter. Is this fatherly love, or does he just not want anyone getting in the way of whatever plans he may have for her? He had to have known about Claire's powers beforehand; he and the OWI have been collecting Heroes for years. However they were finding them, he shouldn't have been surprised by Suresh's board. Maybe he thought of him as competition.
Claire is so cute. This is not new information, but I thought I'd mention it. Also, her healing powers matured over time, obviously, although we still have no idea why the powers began to manifest. Eden had clearly had her powers for a while to have racked up a record like that. Mr. Bennet gets Claire bears from around the world, hence the nickname "Clairebear." I still want to know Mr. Bennet's goddamn first name.
Matt's wife still loved Matt back in the day. And Matt can't read. Which is why he can't pass his detective exams. Yawn?
Oh, the fucked-up Petrellis. Rena Sofer is very pretty. Mrs. Petrelli was very supportive of Peter's new job initially, despite what we saw in the pilot. Mr. Petrelli, who is very likely to have had powers, was connected to Linderman somehow, and did we even know Nathan was a lawyer? Nathan is totally responsible for Heidi's Locke problem because he fucking FLEW OUT OF THE CAR WTF. I...am not sure I like that. Because I don't know what Nathan remembers. Because I love the moment at the end of the pilot when Nathan flies because it's the first time he's flown and he's completely baffled. But if this, instead, was the first time, and he tried to deny it for six months until it happened again to save his brother rather than save his own fucking skin, that moment plays differently. Almost like a rebirth. And Peter has prescient dreams. Hrm. And this is dad's death, that was actually a suicide, not a heart attack. All conveniently happening six months ago. Oh, narrative contrivances.
Hiro can't save Charlie because she was going to die no matter what. What the hell, guys?! I was sure he was going to save her, else why have him go back? I guess to teach him a lesson (and also to cover their asses, since if Hiro were able to save Charlie, the viewer would constantly be asking Hiro to go back and fix things). I wonder what the hell he was doing with his timeshifts back then, though. Because he seemed so scared to attempt teleporting again, and yet he was getting flowers and tickets to Japan and all sorts of things by doing the Hiro Brow Furrow. I had to assume he was just doing his old time-stopping trick, which he was pretty good at. I wonder why he got flung back to Japan six months later, though. And he said he took a bus to the diner, but did he manage to teleport to Texas properly? I'm not sure how well he can use his powers now.
Niki was an alcoholic? That's new. And D.L. was an ex-con before Jessica framed him? And Niki had a sister named Jessica that their dad killed or something? I did like that we got an explanation for Jessica: that she is just a split personality of Niki's borne out of trauma, someone created to take the pain so that Niki would be okay. I like that idea, especially because it makes it a lot more clear why Jessica turned out that way. The problem is, of course, that Jessica seems to realize that Niki's body has superstrength, whereas Niki is unaware. This makes no sense, so I am guessing that Niki may discover her powers on her own eventually. If she ever regains control of her body, that is. Split personalities are fun!
I feel like an idiot for not realizing Gabriel was Sylar until, you know, ten seconds before they told us. I was wondering why the hell we were focusing on this Clark Kent lookalike, and then they gave us this Brian Davis telekinetic fool, and as soon as I saw him, I realized, "...Uh, that's clearly not Sylar." (Ooooh shit, the Internet reminds me that the camera has been very interested in Sylar's WATCH, and now we fucking know why. He's a watchmaker. (Also, did you guys know there is, of course, a Heroes wiki that's already been updated with information from tonight's episode?)) So, oddly enough, Gabriel's power seems pretty similar to Micah's. And Rae is laughing over in Florida because Gabriel's ability to recognize when things are "broken" seems to apply to humans as well, BUT A) HE IS CRAZY and B) THAT DOES NOT MEAN MICAH WILL REARRANGE D.L.'S INSIDES TO SAVE HIM.
Why do the Sureshes all suck? You peg a guy as having a power, and he can fucking hear that your watch is TWO SECONDS BEHIND and now appears to have completed rebuilding a decades-old watch that he had been working on for SEVEN YEARS HENCE, and you have the idiotic gall to claim he may not be special? Way to stick by your theories, asshole. You really did create Sylar. It's all your fucking fault. And, what, you don't question that the dude steals the address of someone with telekinesis and then comes back the day WITH TELEKINESIS? What, do you think this was just some LATENT POWER of his? THE MAN EATS BRAINS, IDIOT. HE THINKS IT IS HIS EVOLUTIONARY IMPERATIVE FOR SOME REASON. No, I am honestly confused as to WHAT THE FUCK DR. SURESH THOUGHT when Gabriel comes back with telekinesis. Is he COOL with the brain-eating? I mean, does he fucking encourage it? How long do they interact before he realizes Gabriel's become Sylar and gone off the deep end? Because he labels the tape "Sylar," not "Gabriel Gray." Also, Sylar? SURESH HAD A PICTURE OF CLAIRE ON THE FUCKING WALL AND YOU STILL KILLED THE WRONG CHEERLEADER.
Overall, I thought the episode was a little slow, and I was a little worried that the cracks were finally starting to show, that the inevitable disappointment in a show that manages not to disappoint was soon to come. But I hope I'm wrong.
Studio 60
See, if Sorkin were a Jump, Little Children fan, he would have called this episode "B-13." The non-linear narrative was a little hard to follow, but I eventually got the hang of it, mostly. The Deal or No Deal monologue was genuinely clever and funny, and props to Howie Mandel, because I was actually confused initially as to whether it was part of the act or not.
I don't understand why Harriet cannot tell a joke. It's really not that hard. Honestly.
I liked the general plot of the episode, which centered around the difficulty of filming a live broadcast when half your cast is sick and real-life tragedy just made one of your sketches inconveniently tasteless. This is all the show needs to be about, okay? The Big Issues will tackle themselves. Don't go after them. Let them come to you.
Go Susanne!
Jordan MacDeere continues to fucking rock. I totally agree with her that the audience does not fucking care about her. Her personal life is not going to keep people from watching the network. Crappy shows are going to keep them from watching the network. Jack, though, is totally right too, in that, um, her bosses fucking care, and that's what matters at this point. Also, he called her JMac. Ha.
Hey, Jordan's pregnant! No one saw that coming, right?