Comic-Con 2010, Day 1: Preview Night Johnson
You totally know what I did at Comic-Con. But you want details, pictures! Well, five of you do.
I start Wednesday morning by watching Attack of the Show and X-Play. On AOTS, Chris Gore reviews the Losers DVD and gives it a Buy to my delight, as I really enjoyed it. Unfortunately, the X-Play episode is about a Street Fighter tournament instead of being a regular episode. I miss old-school X-Play.
I have a very important errand to run before heading to the airport: I must pick up the last Scott Pilgrim book at Dr. Comics! I show Jen my schedule (of dooooooom), and she's jealous. She also comments on my Wondermark shirt. She will not be the last person to do so.
When I pick the book up, there are only two left. I cannot buy it yet, though, because I am waiting for Sarah. It is her last day: at the end of the month, she will be leaving for Japan for at least a year. It's very sad. But on her last day, she has brought what Paula calls "lacey crack." They are actually macadamia cookies, and they are so sweet and good! And sticky. I don't want to ruin my brand-new book, so I look for a paper towel.
I ask Sarah to check me out. "This is the last thing I'll buy from you!" I say. Well, actually, I say "for" instead of "from" because I can't speak English sometimes.
I've been coming to Dr. Comics regularly for the last two years, and Sarah and I are now Facebook friends so I can keep up with her adventures in Japan. She gives me a high-five and says we can Facebook about the new Guild comics.
As I leave, I say, "Would it be cliché to say, 'Sayonara'?" I didn't think of that until that moment.
She smiles. "No. You're the first one to say it today, though, so I'll give you that."
"I'm sure you'll hear it more," I say. "Sayonara!"
I have a lox and cream cheese bagel at Posh Bagel for lunch and then head to the airport. For a moment, I'm terrified I'll miss my flight because there is insane traffic on 880. It takes ten or fifteen minutes just to get on the highway. Thankfully, the traffic only lasts a mile or two before it clears up, and I get to the airport with plenty of time.
As I wait, I read Scott Pilgrim. A man sees it in my hand as I board the plane and comments, "Comic-Con!" The flight attendant stops me specifically to say, "That's a nice shirt." I finish the book before we take off; it takes me a little over an hour. It's really good.
The man next to me gets chatty. He missed his earlier flight, and he's on the first of several legs that will get him to Dallas. Dallas? Hey, I'm from Arlington.
So's he. And he lives, like, a mile or two away from me. Crazy!
On my way to baggage claim, I call Tara (taraljc), but the voice tells me all lines are busy. Luckily, I see tibicina waiting for me at the baggage claim, and once we get my bag, we meet up with Tara and Ryan outside, passing a steampunk girl on the way. I read Tara's essay in Chicks Dig Time Lords on the plane, and the bio mentioned her "unplaceable accent," and now I can hear it for myself! And give her a hug and stuff upon meeting her.
We drive to the hotel-the Marriott Gaslamp, a big win in the clusterfuck that was hotel reservations-and check in. And on our way to the room, we run into Amy and Seanan, who are on their way to Wendy's. Now that we four roomies are together, however, we enter our room, which is already madness. There are tons of books on the counter, as if they're meant to be afterparty favors. It's not long before I spy an ARC of An Artificial Night and devilishly open it up. But I don't read anything but the date of the first chapter, which I comment on to Seanan, who responds in kind. By which I mean threatening to eat me.
Since I have Seanan and Tara here for the moment, I get them to sign my Chicks Dig Time Lords. I know the next few days will be very busy, and we may only see each other when getting in and out of bed.
We let Amy take a nap as Seanan accompanies Tara and me to the convention center to pick up our badges. We're halfway there when Tara realizes she forgot her barcode in the room, so we go back to get it. This is one of many times we are grateful that our hotel is so close to the convention center. Barcode achieved, we continue until we are sidetracked by Seanan's love of dogs. Please assume that any time we are walking, Seanan will see a dog and want to talk to it and pet it and know what breed it is and whatnot.
The line to get badges is much longer now than it was hours earlier when Seanan picked up her badge, but we talk to someone in line, and before we know it, we have our badges. This year, they are giving everyone those giant bags that were so popular last year rather than the usual plastic bag. They come in many different designs, and though I want a cool Fringe or Chuck bag, I end up with the Clash of the stupid Titans bag. Blarg. By the time I'm out, Tara has already traded her bag for a Vampire Diaries bag. The bag doesn't really stay well on my shoulder with my backpack, and it's so huge that it's pretty annoying to carry around. Luckily, I will quickly be given a free Things from Another World bag on the floor and use that instead.
On the way back (and on the way there), there are hot women in tight clothing pimping the USA panels. "Meet the cast of Psych!" they say, passing out cards that say the same words. I have big semantic issues with this phrasing, as going to a panel is not meeting the cast. It is incredibly misleading! It is a LIE. Also, there are big white balloons with the names of the shows. They remind me of The Prisoner.
We also encounter something very relevant to my interests.
I don't know what this STUFF will be since it is not open yet, but I am very excited!
By now, we don't have time to go to the Wendy's, so we decide to get dinner much closer. And, for the first-and I think possibly the last-time, we four roomies set off!
We hit Cine Cafe, referred to as the "magic deli" because they never run out of things...until this year, when they are promoting No Ordinary Family and are thus no longer as secret as before. Regardless, it is an excellent choice, because their chicken salad sandwich is ginormous, and it's also very good.
After our early dinner, we pass this monstrosity:
I love you, Taco Bell, but what the fucking fuck.
There is a loooooong line to get into the convention center, and the girls stop to support gay marriage while I keep walking to secure us a place in line. I take a free comic called Penny for Your Soul, which has hot redheads but is pretty mediocre otherwise. I hear someone pointing out the press/professional line, so I get in it, and the girls join me.
As the line moves, however, I realize we're in the wrong line. This is the badge line. Er. So now we're in the convention center. How do we get into the Exhibit Hall? Where do we go? Amy uses her feminine wiles to get us through the ropes and onto an escalator.
And who should be on the escalator next to us but...Javi! What the hell! He is very excited to see us. Also drunk. We exchange hugs across escalators. Once upstairs, we try to find the line into the Exhibit Hall. It's about time for them to open it up, so we don't wait long, and then we're down there.
He introduces his companion as Naren Shankar, who wrote for a little show called Star Trek: The Next Generation and who also ran this other show you may have heard of, CSI. Neither one of those really matters to me, but he neglects to mention that he also wrote for Farscape! I would have appropriately fanboyed him had I known.
We all have our errands to run, and my first errand is in the same direction as Javi and Naren are going for a while. When we part, he puts his hand on my shoulder and declares, "You are Sunil. You are Polter-Cow."
My first stop is the Toynami booth, where I am to pick up a Hellboy Skelanimal for Jilli (cupcake_goth). There are two long lines, one for cash and one for credit. I get in one line. I notice that this is, indeed, where they are selling the Nibbler plush that Seanan needed to pick up for a friend. It seems Nibbler didn't make it in time, though, so they are taking pre-orders. I give her a call and ask what she wants to do, and she tells me to have it sent to me, and she can pick it up and give to the person at Borderlands. Ah, it's for a local! That makes it easier, indeed.
I wait in line for a while, and there are shenanigans because I find out they're mailing the thing UPS, so I need to fill out a new form for my work address instead of my home address, and there's some guy who wants a refund on his tax because Mattel is selling the same action figure or whatever without tax, but I get what I need for my friends. It takes longer than I expected, but everything does, except for that which doesn't.
My next stop is the Guild signing, which is on the other side of the floor. I stupidly attempt going through the middle passage, which is super congested. This is just as bad as last year! Selling passes with and without Preview Night was supposed to limit the number of people who came to Preview Night, but it's still insane!
As I am fighting my way through people, I look to my left and see what looks like a familiar face. Is that mycenae? I look at her nametag. The first name is right, but the last name doesn't ring any bells. It then occurs to me that when I met her last year, she was wearing someone else's nametag and I do not, in fact, even know her last name. She's talking to a couple friends. I step out of the crowd and snap to get her attention. It is her! What the hell. Apparently she's seen like five people she knows in the last ten minutes. Yeah, that happened to me last year too. Sometimes Comic-Con is weird like that. I tell her I'm on my way to the Guild signing, and, as she has nothing planned, she joins me.
We find the line and become the end for a short while. The woman who is behind us looks at my comic and DVD and asks what to get. She's there for a friend and doesn't know much about the show. And, somehow, neither does mycenae! So I explain it to her.
When we near the front of the line, I discover that there's a $20 signing fee. What! That's new. I am against paying to have things signed! I consider stepping out of line. But then I decide that, you know, this is not some random celebrity I am giving money to; it's The Guild. It is a webseries I have supported with my money on several occasions. Felicia Day, you have such sway over me.
For $20, I am allowed to have three things signed. I only brought two, but I get a free photograph to bring it up to three. Sandeep is first, and as he signs, I tell him that I finally watched The Legend of Neil and "really enjoyed" it (note: keep track of how many things I have "really enjoyed" over the course of this con). "Come to the panel!" he says. I tell him I'll try, and I also say that I'll see him tonight, as I'm coming to the improv show. He tells me to start thinking of suggestions. For some reason, the first word that comes into my head is marmoset. I do not say it out loud.
I can't think of things to say to the rest of the cast as I move along the line. The woman behind me informs Sandeep that this is her very first signing ever, so we all clap and cheer.
As I approach Felicia, she says, "I know you!" ZOMG. She remembers me from last year? That time, she didn't even remember me from a few months before. This time, she tries to remember my name. "It starts with an S. So..."
Rather than let her go through all the other potential vowels, I flip over my badge and show her: "Sunil!"
"Yeah!" she says. And gives me a high-five. It's very exciting. She gives me another high-five. Then we take a high-five picture.
"I don't know why I feel so good about that," she says.
"I'm proud of you!" I say, which is probably totally condescending, but sometimes I say dumb things. I tell her that I "really enjoyed" the comic-I TOLD YOU-and was surprised when I rewatched the first season to show a friend and saw that there were all these backstory hints in there already. She says that she likes dropping that kind of thing in there.
I tell her I'll see her at the show. "I won't be funny," she says. "These guys will be funny."
mycenae has found another friend to accompany, so I continue on my Preview Night errands. I head to Artists' Alley and look for Amy Martin's booth, but the organization is wonky and I can't find her booth anywhere. Then I see her waving and walk over. Ta da, she has a booth! I give her a hug and admire her wares. I don't have too much time to stay and chat, nor do I have time to run and get her Scott Pilgrim from the Oni booth, but I do buy the first issue of Bachelor Girl, which features the chili comic over which we bonded upon becoming Facebook friends.
Then I make my way to the Image booth. David Mack said he was in the same place he was last year, so I look for that corner, and, sure enough, there he is. This year, he greets me by name and notes that he saw my Facebook comments about coming. I buy Shy Creatures from him, as it is about to become out of print. I ask him how his European trip was, and he said it was great. I tell him I'm going to Europe in September. "Keep us updated on Facebook," he says. Aw. He thanks me for stopping by.
"Thanks for being you," I say.
"That's all I can do," he replies. Nicest guy in comics, I'm telling you.
I scope out the Oni Press booth and see they're giving out free wristbands with purchase of SP6. Balls! They're $3 normally. I follow the line to the end and see a guy with an awesome Clash at Demonhead poster. He says they're selling a set of 4 for $120, as if this is an awesome deal. Uh, that is a lot of money, sir. But the set contains posters for Clash at Demonhead, Sex Bob-omb, Crash and the Boys ("That one band with Crash? And those Boys?"), and Kid Chameleon, so, uh, that is a lot of AWESOME.
I see those posters because Bryan Lee O'Malley signs them for the dude. That's right, I have happened to walk by the booth at the exact time Bryan Lee O'Malley has arrived. But he's not actually doing a signing; he just came by for this guy or something. But there's another guy in front of me who is holding some books, and as Bryan is leaving, he offers to sign them. "You're right in front me," he says.
I don't want to bother him more than necessary, so I sort of timidly stand, about to put my books back in my backpack, but he also asks for my books! "Oh, thanks!" I say. Hurrah! I have totally achieved accidentally convenient signing! I give him Book 1 and Book 6, saying of the latter, "I read it before the plane took off and really enjoyed it."-WHAT DID I TELL YOU-"One of the things I'm most impressed with is what you did with Ramona and Knives." At first, they're just these girls Scott likes, but they develop into real characters. He thanks me. He says he feels bad when people say they already read the book, like, while they were waiting in line for the signing.
I say, "Well, it's Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour."
"In line!" he quips.
At the Dark Horse booth, I find out the Joss and Dollhouse signing tickets will be given out the day of the signings, so I move on.
I find the webcomics area and see the Wondermark booth. David Malki ! sees me and says, "I remember you from WonderCon and the previous Comic-Con." Awesome! I figure he sees hundreds of people at these things, but maybe repeat customers stand out. I have a book for him to sign and I wish to buy a book as well, and when our transaction is complete, I have all the Wondermark collections signed! I still haven't read the last two.
Next to Wondermark is...Dinosaur Comics! Ryan North only posted that he would be at Comic-Con that very morning, so I am so happy that he's here. And I tell him so. "I'm Sunil, and I love Dinosaur Comics," I say. I tell him he's brilliant and fanboy all over him. The girlfriend of a guy next to me comments that she can tell he's excited because he's stuttering. It's RYAN NORTH, you guys!
We discuss one of my favorite comics, which is up on my cube at work. Sadly, they don't have the shirt, which I covet with all my soul, but a woman hands me a $5 Topatoco coupon, which is basically free shipping, so I should totally just buy it now. I buy a book instead, and he signs it, drawing T-Rex saying, "Success is just failure rounded up! WHATEVER." THANK YOU RYAN NORTH FOR BEING AWESOME.
As I leave, I say, "In conclusion, Hinduism is a famous religion. Also, sexual congress." He says he got into some trouble with a Hindu friend of his over that comic. He thought it'd be okay since he makes fun of everything, but, as you know, someone will always be offended.
"I'm not sure if you guys realize this," I say, addressing David and Ryan, "but you guys have provided smiles and laughter when I needed them, so thank you." I tell them to keep doing good work.
I have accomplished all I need to for Preview Night, so I call Seanan. She and Amy are...in the webcomics aisle! How convenient! I turn around and find them and tag along. I make a stop by the Kingdom of Loathing booth to see if the people I met at Jess and Colin's wedding were there, but it does not seem so. I pick up some amusing literature, however.
And then it is time for us to ditch Preview Night early!
We get some soda and food on the way back to the hotel room to drop stuff off. I tell Seanan about David Malki ! remembering me, and she says that among fans, I am memorable and stand out. "Because I'm Indian??" I say, because accusing Seanan of being racist is a hobby of mine. No, she says, although she does not know of very many continental Indians in fandom.
I get a text from Erin (mutinousmuse): "Felicia Day just walked right past me!" Awesome! She is waiting for us at the San Diego Repertory Theatre, which is in the Westfield complex. We make our way there and then attempt to find the theatre, which involves going up and down stairs for no apparent reason, as we end up on the same level we began. What a stupidly designed mall.
I give Erin a hug, and we pick up our tickets at Will Call. How did Erin get involved? Funny story: I heard about the improv show the weekend before Comic-Con and quickly bought tickets. I posted on Facebook about the awesomeness, and Erin was like, what, where, how do I get tickets?? And I was like SHIT. So I told her where we were sitting and had her call the box office so she could get a seat next to us. And she did, and it was awesome.
We go downstairs. Doors have not opened yet, and people are milling about and drinking booze. Everyone is excited about the booze, so we stand in line.
I tell Erin about the Guild signing fee and how I normally don't roll that way but I wanted to support them. "That's how she pays her rent," says the guy in front of us. I wondered how she was doing! He says the Microsoft deal doesn't actually give her that much, and they end up breaking even on production. Well, that blows. "Sorry to butt in," he says a couple times, but we tell him it's okay. We welcomed his input!
They are selling Twinkies at concessions. Erin is very tempted, but she declines and goes with wine instead. Wine that I hold when she goes to the restroom. I am a good person to hold drinks since I won't drink them. I may spit in them if I don't like you, though. Good thing I like Erin.
The house finally opens. It's a very small theatre! Doesn't look like there's a bad seat in the house. We find our seats. Other people take their seats as well.
Including Amy Okuda and Robin Thorsen, a couple rows in front of us! Neat! At first, I wonder what they're doing in the audience, and then I remember that this isn't actually a Guild event, even though there are three Guildies in the improv troupe. Then Vince Caso comes and sits at the end of our row! And later Kim Evey takes a seat a couple rows behind us!
Plus, we see our new friend heading our way. Is he sitting in our row? No, that's not his seat. He's actually sitting right behind me and Erin. We introduce ourselves. His name is Dane, and he's the webmaster for feliciaday.com. Oh!! That explains why he's invested in Felicia's success. We also learn that he and his female companion were extras in season three. And the two people next to them were extras in an upcoming season four episode. We are totally in the cool Guild section!
Before the show, someone passes out little strips of paper for us to write lines on that will be used later on in the show. I write, "What the hell is this marmoset doing in my pants?" Erin writes, "I am awash in a sea of ennui." Or something.
Finally, it is time for the show to start, and out comes Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em!
So we have Alex Albrecht on the far left, Brooke Seguin, Sandeep Parikh, Felicia Day, Tara Perry, Tony Janning, and Jeff Lewis. All funny people who have been involved with either The Guild and/or The Legend of Neil!
As sort of a warm-up, Sandeep begins by playing Brand Names.
When he points, you have to come up with a brand name for whatever the audience has chosen, be it laundry detergent, toothpaste, or retirement homes. You can't hesitate or use the same idea twice, especially if he points at you again. Most of the names are ridiculous and not very practical, but they're amusing. Tara is victorious!
Next, they ask for a couple superheroes. Wolverine! The Crow! Well, all right. Using those as inspiration, the troupe proceeds to monologue about themselves.
Jeff may or may not introduce himself, which leads to a running joke for the night: "I'm Jeff Lewis!" Followed by cheers and applause.
Then they build scenes out of the fodder from the monologues. Here, I think they are discussing a plan of attack. They are dogs. Or wolverines. Or dogs who don't like wolverines. Also there are crows.
Felicia the crow is videotaping a wolverine attack. Or something. Or reporting back. I don't know.
Here, however, Sandeep is definitely a wolverine about to rip out James Cameron's heart. James Cameron is unfazed, however, and claims he can still make movies.
Alex, though, becomes the Terminator and goes back in time to kill James Cameron's mother, played by Brooke.
But then James Cameron births himself. This leads to a series of births, as Sandeep (?) becomes Sidney Poitier, Brooke becomes Christopher Nolan, and Felicia becomes...Barbara Stanwyck. Jeff cries, "No one knows who that is!" Felicia does not care as she stands there with her imaginary cigarette and martini.
There is a scene with some newscasters who talk about James Cameron's efforts during the Gulf oil spill. After the scene, Jeff walks out alone. And doesn't say anything. Then says, "I am not hiring those newscasters." Pause. "That's all I have to say." This is not the first time Jeff will walk out without a good idea of what he plans to do.
Next, they ask for a time period. "Mesozoic," I say, of course. But they go with another pretty amusing suggestion: "1840!"
For a few minutes, Alex milks the specificity of the suggestion for all it's worth, reminiscing about how just yesterday, it was 1839, and he's so glad the 1830s are over. It doesn't seem like the scene is going anywhere until Sandeep notices Alex's penchant for making sound effects for everything he's doing. He tells him that he's dying! He has a disease. See, when he shoots a gun...
...the sound comes from Tara! But when Alex shoots a gun, he makes the sound himself. He even makes the clomp-clomp of the horse going to drink water. I know describing an improv show is kind of pointless, but this is one of my favorite scenes in the show.
Riffing off Alex's lament that he wished he'd given his horse a name, here come Felicia and Brooke...
As horses.
Jeff comes up and gives horse-Felicia a name: Clarence Thomas Johnson. And at one point, she comments that she has a neeeeeeeeeeiiiigh-me. Just like me!! Of course you have to go there.
She's pretty proud of the fact that she a first name, a middle name, and a surname. "You can have one of my names," she tells Brooke. "Maybe Johnson. Maybe not." Horse-Felicia is kind of a dick.
There's an amusing scene where Tara plays Alex's doctor, and she tries to use Alex's disease to invent comic books. It's not clear whether Alex doesn't understand where she's going with it or whether he's being deliberately obtuse. She tries to describe how it would work. When you get punched, what sound do you make?
"...Ouch?" says Alex. "I don't get punched very often," he continues. And then, the part that cracks me up: "Maybe because I'm always punching people."
Back to the horses, Brooke says that one day someone will write a song about her. Felicia can't contain herself: "A horse with no name?"
Next, they ask for a relationship. "Boss/employee!" someone says. Lame! I was going to say, "Inventor/robot!"
Tara and Tony enact the standard "boss tries to seduce employee" scene, with Tara seducing, like, the janitor or something. Tony says he needs to get back to his wife and kids. "I've got 8 of them." The improv wheels turn... "And 15 kids." Boom, hilarity!
The rest of the troupe is a little confused about their situation. Brooke, for instance, can't decide whether she's a wife or a kid, and she actually goes out and comes back in an attempt to restore continuity. The scenes shift back and forth, and there's a pretty funny phone call.
Next, someone asks for the first line of the scene. "This is too much performance pressure!"
Felicia begins under a stool for some reason. Brooke has one in her hand. Jeff is miming working under a car. This goes on for about a minute or so. Finally, Felicia cries, "This is too much!"
"Performance pressure!" adds Brooke.
We learn that Jeff wants them to sing. As he works on his 1984 Pontiac J-J-Johnson.
The other guys seize on that to take us to General Motors-which, of course, leads to the expected HIMYM-style pun. But first they suggest that their car names need more stuttering. They start throwing out car names like the 1282 Raptor. Someone points out that they didn't have cars in 1282. Scene: a yokel puts 12 and 82 together and finds out that, you know, it just sounded like a cool car name.
Two pretty, funny redheads onstage together? Thank you, San Diego.
Next, for Alpha-Bits, they need an activity. Waiting in line at Comic-Con! And then, a letter, for Felicia and Tara must begin each line with the next letter of the alphabet.
Felicia and Tara are excitedly waiting in line to get Alex's autograph...but at the very last minute, Sandeep swoops in and declares that Comic-Con is closed!
For Space Jump, each scene goes on until someone yells, "Space Jump!" At which point the actors freeze and someone else enters the scene to reinterpret what's going on. So, for instance, Felicia and Jeff begin by mowing the lawn.
But they get Space Jumped in this position:
Which turns them into a rollercoaster.
And then somehow there are mannequins.
And then there's porn.
The Papers game will use our audience suggestions, but first they need a location. "Mad scientist's laboratory!" I say, and they use it! Hurrah!
Felicia is an Igor! Aww. Things happen and funny things are said.
At some point, someone reads, "I hated Inception!" You can hear everyone react with instinctual distress. "I'm glad I didn't get that one," says someone.
Sandeep gets my line! "What the hell is this marmoset doing in my pants?" he says. Except he's supposed to be a robot. "I'm a robot; why am I wearing pants?" There are a lot of lines that seem to work perfectly in the scene, as so often happens with this game.
For the final game of the night, they need a phrase. They choose "I can't believe it's not butter!" And they will do three scenes inspired by that phrase, followed by...madness.
In the first scene, Tony and Alex are sitting while something's cooking in the oven. It appears to be very dusty, as Alex is constantly swatting dust off his pants. He eventually points this out; Alex seems to be particularly attuned to his tics and likes to make fun of them when he notices. Somehow someone gets sucked into an oven, I don't know. There is butter involved somewhere.
In the second scene, Sandeep plays...Fabio, of course.
Felicia is his assistant.
In the third scene, Tara is at home. Until she meets Jeff.
Jeff introduces himself as...Butter Johnson. Jeff seems to be stuck on the Johnson name. Perhaps the Johnsonness is so all-consuming that he cannot concentrate because he actually stops mid-scene and says, "I'm going to do this again," and goes back to the beginning. One of the more endearing and fun aspects of the troupe is that while they're good, they're not impeccable, but they recognize when they screw up and have a lot of fun with it.
In bursts Sandeep, who informs Tara that, yes: it's not Butter. Jeff unzips his Butter costume to reveal himself to be a federal agent! Which is an odd choice because Sandeep seems like a good guy. After all, he comes in and shoots Butter in the kneecaps. "Kneecaps!" He shoots him again, declaring: "Elbowcaps!"
He shoots him again. Jeff asks where he's been shot this time. "Vertebrae!"
After some discussion, Jeff unzips his federal agent costume and reveals himself to have been Butter all along! He then hilariously adds that before, his Butter costume was made of metal, so he wasn't hurt when he was shot. So he stands up.
And now: madness. I saw them do this in the show I watched streaming, so it seems to be the Thing They Do, and it's pretty cool. They incorporate elements from scenes from throughout the entire show and mix them all together.
Tara's scene where she invented comic books leads to Tara and Felicia examining some graphic novels. Tara is surprised at how graphic they are. Also, they appear to be in 3D. And pop-up.
So, that happens.
Scene after scene goes by, picking up where previous scenes left off. We revisit the Tara/Tony seduction scene, for instance.
Then Alex arrives for some reason. And suddenly Felicia bursts in. She never got her autograph!
Aaaaand she wants to get in on the blowjob action.
Jeff gets his heart ripped out by a wolverine (again?), and he or someone mentions an abyss, which inspires either Tony or Alex to take us back to the first butter scene and deliver the punchline: "Did you know the reason that James Cameron made The Abyss was because all his children were sucked into an oven?"
Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em, ladies and gentlemen! My face hurts from laughing, as well it should.
Seanan and Amy disappear quickly. Seanan was saying her head was hurting and she couldn't wait to get to bed, so I figure they are making a beeline for the hotel. Erin and I take our time exiting. I am hoping the troupe comes out and mingles. I don't see them, but I am in Amy and Robin's vicinity as they make plans to go out drinking. I don't know where, so I cannot stalk them.
Erin offers me a ride back to the hotel, so I take it. When we are almost there, my phone rings. It's Seanan. She wants to know where I am. Uh. It turns out they were in the bathroom. I didn't mean to ditch them! I thought they ditched me!
I get back to the hotel room and relax. And by relax I mean take notes so I can write this post. Amy and Seanan arrive, having enjoyed the Wendy's, finally. Amy has come up with my punishment for ditching them: I must ride the mechanical bull. Thankfully, this punishment is never enforced.
Comic-Con hasn't even officially started, but it's off to a good start.
I start Wednesday morning by watching Attack of the Show and X-Play. On AOTS, Chris Gore reviews the Losers DVD and gives it a Buy to my delight, as I really enjoyed it. Unfortunately, the X-Play episode is about a Street Fighter tournament instead of being a regular episode. I miss old-school X-Play.
I have a very important errand to run before heading to the airport: I must pick up the last Scott Pilgrim book at Dr. Comics! I show Jen my schedule (of dooooooom), and she's jealous. She also comments on my Wondermark shirt. She will not be the last person to do so.
When I pick the book up, there are only two left. I cannot buy it yet, though, because I am waiting for Sarah. It is her last day: at the end of the month, she will be leaving for Japan for at least a year. It's very sad. But on her last day, she has brought what Paula calls "lacey crack." They are actually macadamia cookies, and they are so sweet and good! And sticky. I don't want to ruin my brand-new book, so I look for a paper towel.
I ask Sarah to check me out. "This is the last thing I'll buy from you!" I say. Well, actually, I say "for" instead of "from" because I can't speak English sometimes.
I've been coming to Dr. Comics regularly for the last two years, and Sarah and I are now Facebook friends so I can keep up with her adventures in Japan. She gives me a high-five and says we can Facebook about the new Guild comics.
As I leave, I say, "Would it be cliché to say, 'Sayonara'?" I didn't think of that until that moment.
She smiles. "No. You're the first one to say it today, though, so I'll give you that."
"I'm sure you'll hear it more," I say. "Sayonara!"
I have a lox and cream cheese bagel at Posh Bagel for lunch and then head to the airport. For a moment, I'm terrified I'll miss my flight because there is insane traffic on 880. It takes ten or fifteen minutes just to get on the highway. Thankfully, the traffic only lasts a mile or two before it clears up, and I get to the airport with plenty of time.
As I wait, I read Scott Pilgrim. A man sees it in my hand as I board the plane and comments, "Comic-Con!" The flight attendant stops me specifically to say, "That's a nice shirt." I finish the book before we take off; it takes me a little over an hour. It's really good.
The man next to me gets chatty. He missed his earlier flight, and he's on the first of several legs that will get him to Dallas. Dallas? Hey, I'm from Arlington.
So's he. And he lives, like, a mile or two away from me. Crazy!
On my way to baggage claim, I call Tara (taraljc), but the voice tells me all lines are busy. Luckily, I see tibicina waiting for me at the baggage claim, and once we get my bag, we meet up with Tara and Ryan outside, passing a steampunk girl on the way. I read Tara's essay in Chicks Dig Time Lords on the plane, and the bio mentioned her "unplaceable accent," and now I can hear it for myself! And give her a hug and stuff upon meeting her.
We drive to the hotel-the Marriott Gaslamp, a big win in the clusterfuck that was hotel reservations-and check in. And on our way to the room, we run into Amy and Seanan, who are on their way to Wendy's. Now that we four roomies are together, however, we enter our room, which is already madness. There are tons of books on the counter, as if they're meant to be afterparty favors. It's not long before I spy an ARC of An Artificial Night and devilishly open it up. But I don't read anything but the date of the first chapter, which I comment on to Seanan, who responds in kind. By which I mean threatening to eat me.
Since I have Seanan and Tara here for the moment, I get them to sign my Chicks Dig Time Lords. I know the next few days will be very busy, and we may only see each other when getting in and out of bed.
We let Amy take a nap as Seanan accompanies Tara and me to the convention center to pick up our badges. We're halfway there when Tara realizes she forgot her barcode in the room, so we go back to get it. This is one of many times we are grateful that our hotel is so close to the convention center. Barcode achieved, we continue until we are sidetracked by Seanan's love of dogs. Please assume that any time we are walking, Seanan will see a dog and want to talk to it and pet it and know what breed it is and whatnot.
The line to get badges is much longer now than it was hours earlier when Seanan picked up her badge, but we talk to someone in line, and before we know it, we have our badges. This year, they are giving everyone those giant bags that were so popular last year rather than the usual plastic bag. They come in many different designs, and though I want a cool Fringe or Chuck bag, I end up with the Clash of the stupid Titans bag. Blarg. By the time I'm out, Tara has already traded her bag for a Vampire Diaries bag. The bag doesn't really stay well on my shoulder with my backpack, and it's so huge that it's pretty annoying to carry around. Luckily, I will quickly be given a free Things from Another World bag on the floor and use that instead.
On the way back (and on the way there), there are hot women in tight clothing pimping the USA panels. "Meet the cast of Psych!" they say, passing out cards that say the same words. I have big semantic issues with this phrasing, as going to a panel is not meeting the cast. It is incredibly misleading! It is a LIE. Also, there are big white balloons with the names of the shows. They remind me of The Prisoner.
We also encounter something very relevant to my interests.
I don't know what this STUFF will be since it is not open yet, but I am very excited!
By now, we don't have time to go to the Wendy's, so we decide to get dinner much closer. And, for the first-and I think possibly the last-time, we four roomies set off!
We hit Cine Cafe, referred to as the "magic deli" because they never run out of things...until this year, when they are promoting No Ordinary Family and are thus no longer as secret as before. Regardless, it is an excellent choice, because their chicken salad sandwich is ginormous, and it's also very good.
After our early dinner, we pass this monstrosity:
I love you, Taco Bell, but what the fucking fuck.
There is a loooooong line to get into the convention center, and the girls stop to support gay marriage while I keep walking to secure us a place in line. I take a free comic called Penny for Your Soul, which has hot redheads but is pretty mediocre otherwise. I hear someone pointing out the press/professional line, so I get in it, and the girls join me.
As the line moves, however, I realize we're in the wrong line. This is the badge line. Er. So now we're in the convention center. How do we get into the Exhibit Hall? Where do we go? Amy uses her feminine wiles to get us through the ropes and onto an escalator.
And who should be on the escalator next to us but...Javi! What the hell! He is very excited to see us. Also drunk. We exchange hugs across escalators. Once upstairs, we try to find the line into the Exhibit Hall. It's about time for them to open it up, so we don't wait long, and then we're down there.
He introduces his companion as Naren Shankar, who wrote for a little show called Star Trek: The Next Generation and who also ran this other show you may have heard of, CSI. Neither one of those really matters to me, but he neglects to mention that he also wrote for Farscape! I would have appropriately fanboyed him had I known.
We all have our errands to run, and my first errand is in the same direction as Javi and Naren are going for a while. When we part, he puts his hand on my shoulder and declares, "You are Sunil. You are Polter-Cow."
My first stop is the Toynami booth, where I am to pick up a Hellboy Skelanimal for Jilli (cupcake_goth). There are two long lines, one for cash and one for credit. I get in one line. I notice that this is, indeed, where they are selling the Nibbler plush that Seanan needed to pick up for a friend. It seems Nibbler didn't make it in time, though, so they are taking pre-orders. I give her a call and ask what she wants to do, and she tells me to have it sent to me, and she can pick it up and give to the person at Borderlands. Ah, it's for a local! That makes it easier, indeed.
I wait in line for a while, and there are shenanigans because I find out they're mailing the thing UPS, so I need to fill out a new form for my work address instead of my home address, and there's some guy who wants a refund on his tax because Mattel is selling the same action figure or whatever without tax, but I get what I need for my friends. It takes longer than I expected, but everything does, except for that which doesn't.
My next stop is the Guild signing, which is on the other side of the floor. I stupidly attempt going through the middle passage, which is super congested. This is just as bad as last year! Selling passes with and without Preview Night was supposed to limit the number of people who came to Preview Night, but it's still insane!
As I am fighting my way through people, I look to my left and see what looks like a familiar face. Is that mycenae? I look at her nametag. The first name is right, but the last name doesn't ring any bells. It then occurs to me that when I met her last year, she was wearing someone else's nametag and I do not, in fact, even know her last name. She's talking to a couple friends. I step out of the crowd and snap to get her attention. It is her! What the hell. Apparently she's seen like five people she knows in the last ten minutes. Yeah, that happened to me last year too. Sometimes Comic-Con is weird like that. I tell her I'm on my way to the Guild signing, and, as she has nothing planned, she joins me.
We find the line and become the end for a short while. The woman who is behind us looks at my comic and DVD and asks what to get. She's there for a friend and doesn't know much about the show. And, somehow, neither does mycenae! So I explain it to her.
When we near the front of the line, I discover that there's a $20 signing fee. What! That's new. I am against paying to have things signed! I consider stepping out of line. But then I decide that, you know, this is not some random celebrity I am giving money to; it's The Guild. It is a webseries I have supported with my money on several occasions. Felicia Day, you have such sway over me.
For $20, I am allowed to have three things signed. I only brought two, but I get a free photograph to bring it up to three. Sandeep is first, and as he signs, I tell him that I finally watched The Legend of Neil and "really enjoyed" it (note: keep track of how many things I have "really enjoyed" over the course of this con). "Come to the panel!" he says. I tell him I'll try, and I also say that I'll see him tonight, as I'm coming to the improv show. He tells me to start thinking of suggestions. For some reason, the first word that comes into my head is marmoset. I do not say it out loud.
I can't think of things to say to the rest of the cast as I move along the line. The woman behind me informs Sandeep that this is her very first signing ever, so we all clap and cheer.
As I approach Felicia, she says, "I know you!" ZOMG. She remembers me from last year? That time, she didn't even remember me from a few months before. This time, she tries to remember my name. "It starts with an S. So..."
Rather than let her go through all the other potential vowels, I flip over my badge and show her: "Sunil!"
"Yeah!" she says. And gives me a high-five. It's very exciting. She gives me another high-five. Then we take a high-five picture.
"I don't know why I feel so good about that," she says.
"I'm proud of you!" I say, which is probably totally condescending, but sometimes I say dumb things. I tell her that I "really enjoyed" the comic-I TOLD YOU-and was surprised when I rewatched the first season to show a friend and saw that there were all these backstory hints in there already. She says that she likes dropping that kind of thing in there.
I tell her I'll see her at the show. "I won't be funny," she says. "These guys will be funny."
mycenae has found another friend to accompany, so I continue on my Preview Night errands. I head to Artists' Alley and look for Amy Martin's booth, but the organization is wonky and I can't find her booth anywhere. Then I see her waving and walk over. Ta da, she has a booth! I give her a hug and admire her wares. I don't have too much time to stay and chat, nor do I have time to run and get her Scott Pilgrim from the Oni booth, but I do buy the first issue of Bachelor Girl, which features the chili comic over which we bonded upon becoming Facebook friends.
Then I make my way to the Image booth. David Mack said he was in the same place he was last year, so I look for that corner, and, sure enough, there he is. This year, he greets me by name and notes that he saw my Facebook comments about coming. I buy Shy Creatures from him, as it is about to become out of print. I ask him how his European trip was, and he said it was great. I tell him I'm going to Europe in September. "Keep us updated on Facebook," he says. Aw. He thanks me for stopping by.
"Thanks for being you," I say.
"That's all I can do," he replies. Nicest guy in comics, I'm telling you.
I scope out the Oni Press booth and see they're giving out free wristbands with purchase of SP6. Balls! They're $3 normally. I follow the line to the end and see a guy with an awesome Clash at Demonhead poster. He says they're selling a set of 4 for $120, as if this is an awesome deal. Uh, that is a lot of money, sir. But the set contains posters for Clash at Demonhead, Sex Bob-omb, Crash and the Boys ("That one band with Crash? And those Boys?"), and Kid Chameleon, so, uh, that is a lot of AWESOME.
I see those posters because Bryan Lee O'Malley signs them for the dude. That's right, I have happened to walk by the booth at the exact time Bryan Lee O'Malley has arrived. But he's not actually doing a signing; he just came by for this guy or something. But there's another guy in front of me who is holding some books, and as Bryan is leaving, he offers to sign them. "You're right in front me," he says.
I don't want to bother him more than necessary, so I sort of timidly stand, about to put my books back in my backpack, but he also asks for my books! "Oh, thanks!" I say. Hurrah! I have totally achieved accidentally convenient signing! I give him Book 1 and Book 6, saying of the latter, "I read it before the plane took off and really enjoyed it."-WHAT DID I TELL YOU-"One of the things I'm most impressed with is what you did with Ramona and Knives." At first, they're just these girls Scott likes, but they develop into real characters. He thanks me. He says he feels bad when people say they already read the book, like, while they were waiting in line for the signing.
I say, "Well, it's Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour."
"In line!" he quips.
At the Dark Horse booth, I find out the Joss and Dollhouse signing tickets will be given out the day of the signings, so I move on.
I find the webcomics area and see the Wondermark booth. David Malki ! sees me and says, "I remember you from WonderCon and the previous Comic-Con." Awesome! I figure he sees hundreds of people at these things, but maybe repeat customers stand out. I have a book for him to sign and I wish to buy a book as well, and when our transaction is complete, I have all the Wondermark collections signed! I still haven't read the last two.
Next to Wondermark is...Dinosaur Comics! Ryan North only posted that he would be at Comic-Con that very morning, so I am so happy that he's here. And I tell him so. "I'm Sunil, and I love Dinosaur Comics," I say. I tell him he's brilliant and fanboy all over him. The girlfriend of a guy next to me comments that she can tell he's excited because he's stuttering. It's RYAN NORTH, you guys!
We discuss one of my favorite comics, which is up on my cube at work. Sadly, they don't have the shirt, which I covet with all my soul, but a woman hands me a $5 Topatoco coupon, which is basically free shipping, so I should totally just buy it now. I buy a book instead, and he signs it, drawing T-Rex saying, "Success is just failure rounded up! WHATEVER." THANK YOU RYAN NORTH FOR BEING AWESOME.
As I leave, I say, "In conclusion, Hinduism is a famous religion. Also, sexual congress." He says he got into some trouble with a Hindu friend of his over that comic. He thought it'd be okay since he makes fun of everything, but, as you know, someone will always be offended.
"I'm not sure if you guys realize this," I say, addressing David and Ryan, "but you guys have provided smiles and laughter when I needed them, so thank you." I tell them to keep doing good work.
I have accomplished all I need to for Preview Night, so I call Seanan. She and Amy are...in the webcomics aisle! How convenient! I turn around and find them and tag along. I make a stop by the Kingdom of Loathing booth to see if the people I met at Jess and Colin's wedding were there, but it does not seem so. I pick up some amusing literature, however.
And then it is time for us to ditch Preview Night early!
We get some soda and food on the way back to the hotel room to drop stuff off. I tell Seanan about David Malki ! remembering me, and she says that among fans, I am memorable and stand out. "Because I'm Indian??" I say, because accusing Seanan of being racist is a hobby of mine. No, she says, although she does not know of very many continental Indians in fandom.
I get a text from Erin (mutinousmuse): "Felicia Day just walked right past me!" Awesome! She is waiting for us at the San Diego Repertory Theatre, which is in the Westfield complex. We make our way there and then attempt to find the theatre, which involves going up and down stairs for no apparent reason, as we end up on the same level we began. What a stupidly designed mall.
I give Erin a hug, and we pick up our tickets at Will Call. How did Erin get involved? Funny story: I heard about the improv show the weekend before Comic-Con and quickly bought tickets. I posted on Facebook about the awesomeness, and Erin was like, what, where, how do I get tickets?? And I was like SHIT. So I told her where we were sitting and had her call the box office so she could get a seat next to us. And she did, and it was awesome.
We go downstairs. Doors have not opened yet, and people are milling about and drinking booze. Everyone is excited about the booze, so we stand in line.
I tell Erin about the Guild signing fee and how I normally don't roll that way but I wanted to support them. "That's how she pays her rent," says the guy in front of us. I wondered how she was doing! He says the Microsoft deal doesn't actually give her that much, and they end up breaking even on production. Well, that blows. "Sorry to butt in," he says a couple times, but we tell him it's okay. We welcomed his input!
They are selling Twinkies at concessions. Erin is very tempted, but she declines and goes with wine instead. Wine that I hold when she goes to the restroom. I am a good person to hold drinks since I won't drink them. I may spit in them if I don't like you, though. Good thing I like Erin.
The house finally opens. It's a very small theatre! Doesn't look like there's a bad seat in the house. We find our seats. Other people take their seats as well.
Including Amy Okuda and Robin Thorsen, a couple rows in front of us! Neat! At first, I wonder what they're doing in the audience, and then I remember that this isn't actually a Guild event, even though there are three Guildies in the improv troupe. Then Vince Caso comes and sits at the end of our row! And later Kim Evey takes a seat a couple rows behind us!
Plus, we see our new friend heading our way. Is he sitting in our row? No, that's not his seat. He's actually sitting right behind me and Erin. We introduce ourselves. His name is Dane, and he's the webmaster for feliciaday.com. Oh!! That explains why he's invested in Felicia's success. We also learn that he and his female companion were extras in season three. And the two people next to them were extras in an upcoming season four episode. We are totally in the cool Guild section!
Before the show, someone passes out little strips of paper for us to write lines on that will be used later on in the show. I write, "What the hell is this marmoset doing in my pants?" Erin writes, "I am awash in a sea of ennui." Or something.
Finally, it is time for the show to start, and out comes Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em!
So we have Alex Albrecht on the far left, Brooke Seguin, Sandeep Parikh, Felicia Day, Tara Perry, Tony Janning, and Jeff Lewis. All funny people who have been involved with either The Guild and/or The Legend of Neil!
As sort of a warm-up, Sandeep begins by playing Brand Names.
When he points, you have to come up with a brand name for whatever the audience has chosen, be it laundry detergent, toothpaste, or retirement homes. You can't hesitate or use the same idea twice, especially if he points at you again. Most of the names are ridiculous and not very practical, but they're amusing. Tara is victorious!
Next, they ask for a couple superheroes. Wolverine! The Crow! Well, all right. Using those as inspiration, the troupe proceeds to monologue about themselves.
Jeff may or may not introduce himself, which leads to a running joke for the night: "I'm Jeff Lewis!" Followed by cheers and applause.
Then they build scenes out of the fodder from the monologues. Here, I think they are discussing a plan of attack. They are dogs. Or wolverines. Or dogs who don't like wolverines. Also there are crows.
Felicia the crow is videotaping a wolverine attack. Or something. Or reporting back. I don't know.
Here, however, Sandeep is definitely a wolverine about to rip out James Cameron's heart. James Cameron is unfazed, however, and claims he can still make movies.
Alex, though, becomes the Terminator and goes back in time to kill James Cameron's mother, played by Brooke.
But then James Cameron births himself. This leads to a series of births, as Sandeep (?) becomes Sidney Poitier, Brooke becomes Christopher Nolan, and Felicia becomes...Barbara Stanwyck. Jeff cries, "No one knows who that is!" Felicia does not care as she stands there with her imaginary cigarette and martini.
There is a scene with some newscasters who talk about James Cameron's efforts during the Gulf oil spill. After the scene, Jeff walks out alone. And doesn't say anything. Then says, "I am not hiring those newscasters." Pause. "That's all I have to say." This is not the first time Jeff will walk out without a good idea of what he plans to do.
Next, they ask for a time period. "Mesozoic," I say, of course. But they go with another pretty amusing suggestion: "1840!"
For a few minutes, Alex milks the specificity of the suggestion for all it's worth, reminiscing about how just yesterday, it was 1839, and he's so glad the 1830s are over. It doesn't seem like the scene is going anywhere until Sandeep notices Alex's penchant for making sound effects for everything he's doing. He tells him that he's dying! He has a disease. See, when he shoots a gun...
...the sound comes from Tara! But when Alex shoots a gun, he makes the sound himself. He even makes the clomp-clomp of the horse going to drink water. I know describing an improv show is kind of pointless, but this is one of my favorite scenes in the show.
Riffing off Alex's lament that he wished he'd given his horse a name, here come Felicia and Brooke...
As horses.
Jeff comes up and gives horse-Felicia a name: Clarence Thomas Johnson. And at one point, she comments that she has a neeeeeeeeeeiiiigh-me. Just like me!! Of course you have to go there.
She's pretty proud of the fact that she a first name, a middle name, and a surname. "You can have one of my names," she tells Brooke. "Maybe Johnson. Maybe not." Horse-Felicia is kind of a dick.
There's an amusing scene where Tara plays Alex's doctor, and she tries to use Alex's disease to invent comic books. It's not clear whether Alex doesn't understand where she's going with it or whether he's being deliberately obtuse. She tries to describe how it would work. When you get punched, what sound do you make?
"...Ouch?" says Alex. "I don't get punched very often," he continues. And then, the part that cracks me up: "Maybe because I'm always punching people."
Back to the horses, Brooke says that one day someone will write a song about her. Felicia can't contain herself: "A horse with no name?"
Next, they ask for a relationship. "Boss/employee!" someone says. Lame! I was going to say, "Inventor/robot!"
Tara and Tony enact the standard "boss tries to seduce employee" scene, with Tara seducing, like, the janitor or something. Tony says he needs to get back to his wife and kids. "I've got 8 of them." The improv wheels turn... "And 15 kids." Boom, hilarity!
The rest of the troupe is a little confused about their situation. Brooke, for instance, can't decide whether she's a wife or a kid, and she actually goes out and comes back in an attempt to restore continuity. The scenes shift back and forth, and there's a pretty funny phone call.
Next, someone asks for the first line of the scene. "This is too much performance pressure!"
Felicia begins under a stool for some reason. Brooke has one in her hand. Jeff is miming working under a car. This goes on for about a minute or so. Finally, Felicia cries, "This is too much!"
"Performance pressure!" adds Brooke.
We learn that Jeff wants them to sing. As he works on his 1984 Pontiac J-J-Johnson.
The other guys seize on that to take us to General Motors-which, of course, leads to the expected HIMYM-style pun. But first they suggest that their car names need more stuttering. They start throwing out car names like the 1282 Raptor. Someone points out that they didn't have cars in 1282. Scene: a yokel puts 12 and 82 together and finds out that, you know, it just sounded like a cool car name.
Two pretty, funny redheads onstage together? Thank you, San Diego.
Next, for Alpha-Bits, they need an activity. Waiting in line at Comic-Con! And then, a letter, for Felicia and Tara must begin each line with the next letter of the alphabet.
Felicia and Tara are excitedly waiting in line to get Alex's autograph...but at the very last minute, Sandeep swoops in and declares that Comic-Con is closed!
For Space Jump, each scene goes on until someone yells, "Space Jump!" At which point the actors freeze and someone else enters the scene to reinterpret what's going on. So, for instance, Felicia and Jeff begin by mowing the lawn.
But they get Space Jumped in this position:
Which turns them into a rollercoaster.
And then somehow there are mannequins.
And then there's porn.
The Papers game will use our audience suggestions, but first they need a location. "Mad scientist's laboratory!" I say, and they use it! Hurrah!
Felicia is an Igor! Aww. Things happen and funny things are said.
At some point, someone reads, "I hated Inception!" You can hear everyone react with instinctual distress. "I'm glad I didn't get that one," says someone.
Sandeep gets my line! "What the hell is this marmoset doing in my pants?" he says. Except he's supposed to be a robot. "I'm a robot; why am I wearing pants?" There are a lot of lines that seem to work perfectly in the scene, as so often happens with this game.
For the final game of the night, they need a phrase. They choose "I can't believe it's not butter!" And they will do three scenes inspired by that phrase, followed by...madness.
In the first scene, Tony and Alex are sitting while something's cooking in the oven. It appears to be very dusty, as Alex is constantly swatting dust off his pants. He eventually points this out; Alex seems to be particularly attuned to his tics and likes to make fun of them when he notices. Somehow someone gets sucked into an oven, I don't know. There is butter involved somewhere.
In the second scene, Sandeep plays...Fabio, of course.
Felicia is his assistant.
In the third scene, Tara is at home. Until she meets Jeff.
Jeff introduces himself as...Butter Johnson. Jeff seems to be stuck on the Johnson name. Perhaps the Johnsonness is so all-consuming that he cannot concentrate because he actually stops mid-scene and says, "I'm going to do this again," and goes back to the beginning. One of the more endearing and fun aspects of the troupe is that while they're good, they're not impeccable, but they recognize when they screw up and have a lot of fun with it.
In bursts Sandeep, who informs Tara that, yes: it's not Butter. Jeff unzips his Butter costume to reveal himself to be a federal agent! Which is an odd choice because Sandeep seems like a good guy. After all, he comes in and shoots Butter in the kneecaps. "Kneecaps!" He shoots him again, declaring: "Elbowcaps!"
He shoots him again. Jeff asks where he's been shot this time. "Vertebrae!"
After some discussion, Jeff unzips his federal agent costume and reveals himself to have been Butter all along! He then hilariously adds that before, his Butter costume was made of metal, so he wasn't hurt when he was shot. So he stands up.
And now: madness. I saw them do this in the show I watched streaming, so it seems to be the Thing They Do, and it's pretty cool. They incorporate elements from scenes from throughout the entire show and mix them all together.
Tara's scene where she invented comic books leads to Tara and Felicia examining some graphic novels. Tara is surprised at how graphic they are. Also, they appear to be in 3D. And pop-up.
So, that happens.
Scene after scene goes by, picking up where previous scenes left off. We revisit the Tara/Tony seduction scene, for instance.
Then Alex arrives for some reason. And suddenly Felicia bursts in. She never got her autograph!
Aaaaand she wants to get in on the blowjob action.
Jeff gets his heart ripped out by a wolverine (again?), and he or someone mentions an abyss, which inspires either Tony or Alex to take us back to the first butter scene and deliver the punchline: "Did you know the reason that James Cameron made The Abyss was because all his children were sucked into an oven?"
Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em, ladies and gentlemen! My face hurts from laughing, as well it should.
Seanan and Amy disappear quickly. Seanan was saying her head was hurting and she couldn't wait to get to bed, so I figure they are making a beeline for the hotel. Erin and I take our time exiting. I am hoping the troupe comes out and mingles. I don't see them, but I am in Amy and Robin's vicinity as they make plans to go out drinking. I don't know where, so I cannot stalk them.
Erin offers me a ride back to the hotel, so I take it. When we are almost there, my phone rings. It's Seanan. She wants to know where I am. Uh. It turns out they were in the bathroom. I didn't mean to ditch them! I thought they ditched me!
I get back to the hotel room and relax. And by relax I mean take notes so I can write this post. Amy and Seanan arrive, having enjoyed the Wendy's, finally. Amy has come up with my punishment for ditching them: I must ride the mechanical bull. Thankfully, this punishment is never enforced.
Comic-Con hasn't even officially started, but it's off to a good start.