So When the Smoke Clears, Here I Am

[spectralbovine]

My family seems pretty determined to have my wedding in December

Comments

[seawench]

My desi best friend has a sister who used to work for the Bush administration in a position that put her in contact with royalty from the tiny little countries at the bottom of the arabian penninsula. The stink when she thought about marrying one of those guys was legendary.

It's comforting to know that my family will put up with just about anyone at this point, so long as he's not an Orthodox Jewish heavy metal guitarist. I have worked at lowering the bar.

[sneaker328]

Orthodox Jewish heavy metal guitarist

*eyes glaze over*

Where can I find this guy?

[seawench]

He's currently shacked up with a Catholic Puerto Rican. Nearly killed his mother.

[penmage]

I actually know some people who fit this profile.

[the_narration]

I don't envy you, man. If my parents were trying to push me to get married within a year, I'd be pulling my hair out.

I've always felt like a meaningful relationship is something that has to develop organically, rather than being sought out. Like maybe if someone meets a woman and they're thinking "Can I get her to marry me?" they're going to come off needy and drive her away. I think you have to have been with somebody a long time before you start thinking those sorts of thoughts. But then, I haven't had a long-term relationship in years, so what do I know?

[tiurin]

You need to find some way to lower expectations! At this point, I think my parents will be relieved just to have confirmation that I'm not gay.

[spectralbovine]

My family also expects me to be making $100K in the next few years. I really wish they'd stop expecting anything at all of me.

[upanashad]

You should get sick. People totally give up on you and then they're just happy if you're functioning at all.

[ariiadne]

Hey! Hang on, how do you know Sunil?

(Have I already asked you this before?)

[sneaker328]

Aww, man.

I had to laugh that all the girls you date are accountants, seeing as 99% of the guys I've dated are accountants as well. Indian women and Jewish men clearly monopolize the profession.

[squaringkarma]

Then my dad must break all the rules because he's a Christian accountant :P

[etherealclarity]

Don't worry, it's not you. Everyone has to do a lot of trial-and-error when it comes to dating, regardless of attractiveness/sense-of-humor/intelligence etc. It is the rare person who has people falling all over themselves to date them (and if they do, it's usually because of something superficial and non-lasting anyway) and then, of course, the one time they think it truly matters and they're crazy about someone, it's someone who doesn't want them at all.

So the good news is, it isn't you. The bad news is, this is just the sucky process of weeding through duds to find the good ones... and yes, duds include the ones that aren't interested in YOU, too. They're not worth your time.

I wish you luck with the arranged part and the whole dating process really. It ain't fun, but I think you'll find your way.

[lynevere]

Everyone has to do a lot of trial-and-error when it comes to dating

Very true. I have to imagine there's even more trial-and-error with an arranged marriage, since most of us start with a larger pool and get to make the first cut before any actual "date."