Good and Bad week...

Aug 23, 2007 15:21

You know, I've had a mixed good/bad week.

On one hand I've had some of the best news I've heard in years. Here it is, cross posted from my deviantART journal:

My mother was browsing one of those high school reunion websites a while back and found one of her best friends from when she was in her teens.
Long story short, they fell in love and want to get married!
They are waiting until my parents' divorce is finalized before they start anything, but it's coming!

I've never seen my mother this happy before and I tell you, I couldn't be happier myself.

Anyway, it looks like before long I'll have a step-dad and, get this, a step-brother! I wanted a brother my entire life and had given up on ever having one more and more the older I got. The thought that I'll finally have a brother... Seriously, it's almost got me crying I'm so happy.
I'm twice his age (as he's eleven) and I'm hoping I'll be a good big brother.

Anyway, it would seem that after they get hitched, my mother's new hubby is going to move up here and they will most likely buy a new house somewhere nearby, possibly renting out the one we currently live in. I can't wait to see what happens.

On the other hand, this has all got me wondering about my future...

My plans as they stood were to get the laptop I need then start some online college courses in game design. While doing that, I intended to learn more C++ programming and start modding some games so I can learn how and at the same time make things to put in my game design portfolio.

Honestly, I'm worried. I know I can't afford the laptop myself, my mother was going to help me, but with someone else in our lives...

On one hand, maybe things will turn out the same or even better. Maybe she'll still help me and my plans will go as I intended... Maybe her new husband would be willing to help me out and things would turn out even better than I could have hoped...

On the other hand, things could turn out for the worse. Maybe she'll no longer want to help me, maybe her new husband won't want her to for some reason...

Also, my plans all relied on living at home until I was done with the college course... Will they still want me around after they get married?

I'm probably being paranoid here but, when I consider that I have watched almost every plan I've ever laid out fall to pieces, I've learned to expect the worst.

I'm incredibly happy and stressed out at the same time... Happy for my mother but stressed about the future. It's frustrating and terrifying, not knowing at all what's going to happen.

*sighs*

I suppose I'll just have to wait and see what happens, hoping for the best. What will be, will be.
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