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kir_royale August 20 2007, 18:50:17 UTC
Just read your entries in some oa/ed communities and some of your blog postings - I want to thank you for inspiring me and being honest and raw. I first was in oa in 1993 as a very young teen - and I stayed 105 pounds (I am 5 foot 3ish and somehwat small boned so I was NOT emaciated) until around 2000 and then the weight crept back up. In 2003 I peaked at 210/215 (I was SHOCKED when I finally weighed myself) - now I'm what, 190 or 180, I haven't weighed myself in a while but I have been a huge failure for 6 or 7 years (up and down and up and down - but more up than down and the down wasn't that down if you know what I mean) and it is remarkable I have actually allowed so much time to pass (my damn youth!!!) being a fattie! It is MY FAULT, I am not going to blame it on genetics or my wretched childhood or past devastations anymore - It is me, me, me. I know I am an addict and self will alone doesnt work - but fat acceptance is the easier softer way out and is, in my opinion, a damn cop out. I have brought out the nazi oa diet again and the effin scales and cups and have been forcing myself to the meetings because I am tired of being the fat girl in the family/friend circle/group/workplace, etc. I'm tired of being a walking JOKE. I'm tired of being WEAK. So kudos to your ballsy stance on calling out fat acceptance for what it is.

;)

/ rant

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You sound like you have been through Hell and Back.... specsafety August 20 2007, 19:51:29 UTC
Thank you for the thumbs up. I just went to an OA retreat this weekend--only to see my dear friend Harlan, who has lost 500 lbs and has kept if off for 9 years. I was shocked when I saw some of the OAs I havent seen in 2 years; in particular, an old sponsee that left me after I brought him from 400 to 180--he was cured apparantly. This sponsee was 400, diabetes, sleep apnea etc etc. When fired me, he was at 180, diabetes GONE, Sleep apnea GONE etc etc. When I saw him this weekend, I nearly did not recognize him---easily over 500 lbs!!!! The big book says it all in the Dr's Opinion--"The only relief we suggest is entire abstinence" Its amazing that a huge amount of folks in the 12-step food fellowships fail to embrace this key idea. My friend Harlan says about 1 percent of the folks in OA "get it" Of those people about 10 percent will keep it--very poor results. In CEA-HOW, I have found some fat serenity, but, at least the program defines "the path" not paths, as so many OAers self define. I have very little patience for the fat serenity folks out there. Either one spreads recovery or one spreads disease. Unwittingly, those fat serenity folks are spreading the disease. Anyways, I hope I did not bore you with my pontification! Keep the course, feel free to make an outreach, if you want, my way. Specsafety at ya hoo dot com

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Re: You sound like you have been through Hell and Back.... kir_royale August 24 2007, 16:03:53 UTC
Thanks so much!

I added you to my yahoo // flapperjane ///

I also posted this question to you here few days ago...if you have a moment...
http://community.livejournal.com/o_a/217245.html

thanks!

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