Fanfic - "Ja t'aime."
Title: Je t'aime.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff
Characters/Pairing: John/Elizabeth
Summary: “A Halloween party?” he grinned. Elizabeth only smiled briefly before biting her bottom lip.
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis.
Author's Note: A Halloween story - Thank you to the following people - sapphs, mariskatorri, vickysg1, echelon_ga_l and agentcat_47 for helping me out with French translations and to dark_faith366 for putting the french in context. *hugs*
-These are not the accurate translations:
“J’ai pas le droit de parler anglais” - I'm not allowed to speak English.
“Tu veux boire quelque chose?" - Would you like a drink?
“C’est ma jambe mon general, pas celle de Carter.” - That is not Carter's leg, sir.
“Je t’aime.” - I love you.
“Je crois que j’ai un peu trop bu.” - I think i'm drunk.
John’s initial reaction was to be utterly surprised. It had been almost two years since the entire senior staff on Atlantis had returned home together and even longer since they had been allowed even the notion of leaving the SGC. But when Elizabeth came to his quarters on base, a nervous twitch in her eye, glancing from left to right with her fingers wringing a sturdy piece of paper in her hands, he realised she’d lost a bet.
It was a morale thing, they’d said. A booster for lack of a better word. Cards were dealt and messages were sent amongst the senior women of the SGC and Atlantis. No one ever knew what was in the messages; no one ever knew what wagers were set. But when Elizabeth lost, the entire senior staff of Atlantis would suffer along with her.
“Elizabeth?” he questioned, and she found a patch on the wall that held her interest longer than the buttons on his shirt and she held her focus. “…what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” She laughed nervously. “…Ah, I have this, from Colonel Carter, for you.” she held out the piece of paper that her jittering hands had brutalized and watched him intently as he attempted to flatten it out so that he could read the words.
It was an invitation.
“A Halloween party?” he grinned. Elizabeth only smiled briefly before biting her bottom lip.
“Yes, about that, since you brought it up…” John’s brow furrowed at her dramatically un-subtle attempt at making the coming conversation his fault before he smiled sweetly and raised his eyebrows to let her continue. “I-I was wondering, would you care…” she swallowed deeply. “…would you like to come with me?” her final fast paced section of her request was made in barely a whisper of a breath and John grinned, knowing whatever bet she’d lost, he was going to have fun with it.
“What was that Elizabeth?” he marvelled at the diplomatic leader of an intergalactic expedition looking so flustered.
“Would you like to go to the party, with me?”
“I thought that was assumed.” He smirked and Elizabeth’s face only reddened.
“Oh, you’d think so.” She was more nervous than he’d ever seen a living soul. Typically, it made him curious.
“Yes, of course.”
“Right.” She let out a breath. “I’ll see you later then.” She nodded her head before turning to leave though before she could make a break for it, he grasped her elbow gently and turned her back around to face him. He blinked when she did, not realising how close behind her he had become before they were a breath away, chest to chest.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asked, running his fingers along her forearm gently.
“Nothing’s going on, John.” She tried but failed to sound definitive.
“Then why have you just asked me out, to a party the majority of the SGC will be at, when it was your idea to keep this a secret?” his fingers had - without her knowledge - made their way up and into her hair, stroking her scalp as her eyes fluttered shut. Suddenly they burst open again and she realised what he was doing. Manipulating the information out of her with the one thing she couldn’t resist…his touch.
“It’s not a date, per sae. John, it’s just a barbeque…”
“And fancy dress.” He held the invitation up between them and Elizabeth frowned. “…so what will you be?” his hand ran down over her shoulders before resting against her lower back. Elizabeth’s hands came up to rest against his chest, if only to prevent him pressing her any closer to his body. The closer she got, the more likely she was to spill the beans, as it were.
“I don’t know.” Her eyes started to shift and he realised he’d hit the monkey on the head. Her costume was part of the bet, it had to be. She wouldn’t be so nervous if she knew of and was comfortable with what she was going to wear. Reaching up to rest his fingers beneath her chin he turned her head to look into his eyes. These women were definitely a sadistic bunch, he’d give them that.
He nodded his head in silence and leant forward to gently peck her lips. Elizabeth stood there staring for a moment before she realised she was released from his hold and was free to flee at will.
As soon as Elizabeth was out of the room, he immediately started mulling over the best outfit he could conjure to out-do the evil minds of the SG ladies.
**
“Think she’ll like this one?” Vala questioned, holding up a sequined mini-skirt with a matching tank-top and knee-high boots in the other hand. Sam screwed up her nose.
“No, we need something that suits Elizabeth, something…” Sam’s eyes widened in self-satisfaction as she spotted the perfect outfit for a diplomatic negotiator with an intimate knowledge of several complex languages. “…This is perfect.”
“Oo, I like that.” Vala grabbed it out of her hands and immediately Sam snatched it back.
“Come on, we had better go. Elizabeth will arrive any minute and you’ve still gotta make those egg…things.”
“Egg ‘things’?” Vala looked incredulous. “I’ll have you know that Colonel Mitchell’s mother taught me how to make those Egg ‘things’.”
“And?”
“You’re right, I really don’t have anything to fight you on, lets go.”
**
Elizabeth stood on Samantha Carter’s doorstep. She knew that she was going to suffer for this, but as a leader she had to take the good with the bad. It didn’t matter who had lost the bet, one of them was going to be going through what she was going through regardless, those were the terms and she was woman enough to stick by them to the letter.
She rang the bell and within moments a beaming Sam Carter was reaching through the door and dragging her inside. Elizabeth removed her coat as slowly as possible, looking around at the Halloween decorations adorning the Colonel’s normally immaculate home.
“Come on, your costume is this way.” Sam grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and started dragging her down the hall.
“Please tell me it’s not embarrassing. Like the head of a cow, or something?” Elizabeth whined and Sam just grinned over her shoulder while they made their way up the stairs.
“It’s nothing like that, I assure you.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened in horror and she stopped dead in the hallway. “What?” Sam spun around at the sudden halt.
“I’m not going to be half-naked, am I?” the shock and terror on the Atlantean leader’s face was enough to make Sam chuckle.
“Come on, it’s in my room, Vala’s just setting it out for you.”
“I swear, if not killing you wasn’t part of the deal…”
Sam cut her off. “Yes, I know, different parts of my severed corpse would be scattered to the farthest corners of the galaxy.”
“Yay! You’re here!” Vala bounced up from the bed and grabbed Elizabeth’s hand as both Sam and Vala noticed Elizabeth starting to back away when she saw the out-fit on the bed.
“No way am I wearing that!”
“Come on, Elizabeth, we had a deal. We get to pick your date, costume and character.”
“Yeah, but that!?”
“Best part is, Sam says you speak French.” Vala beamed and Elizabeth turned to her quickly.
“What’s that got to do with it?!”
“Well…” Sam let go of her hand and moved to sit on the bed beside the outfit. “…you’re going to be speaking nothing but French for the entire party.”
Elizabeth literally groaned.
“Hey, it could have been worse.” Sam grinned.
“How could it have been worse than that!?” Elizabeth pointed at the barely-there costume on the bed.
“We could have made you dress as Lady Godiva.”
“You’d better get dressed; the party starts in half an hour.” Vala sing-songed as the pair left Elizabeth - mouth still agape - alone in Sam’s room to change.
**
John straightened his jacket as he climbed out of the car. He glanced at Rodney as the other man climbed out behind him. Zelenka’s head popped up over the other side of the car and John had to admit, his Einstein out-fit had been a perfect choice to anger Rodney who stared at him with cold malice.
“Ok, boys, lets go.” John grinned, adjusting his bow-tie before strutting across the road.
“I still don’t get why he got to be James Bond.” Rodney whined.
“What are you talking about?” Radek looked up at him in confusion. “You chose your costume and you said that it fit your absolutely perfectly.”
“That’s until I saw his.”
Radek rolled his eyes and stormed across the road without him, muttering something unsavoury in Czech.
**
“Which one are you?” John grinned as he clapped General O’Neill on the shoulder, taking the offered beer he held out to him when he met them at the door.
“Like you’ve gotta guess. I’m Moe, Larry and Curly are over there.” He pointed to Teal’c and Cameron Mitchell sitting on the couch and John had to hold back the urge to point out that none of the original stooges were black. Jack laughed, poking at John’s tie. “Let me guess, Bond?”
“James Bond.” John smirked and started immediately searching through the crowd for his supposed ‘date’ but she was no where in sight.
“Oh, that figures.”
“Oh, not you as well.” Rodney rolled his eyes, raising his chin in defiance as he walked past the general.
“Well, come on McKay.”
“Hey!” Rodney spun around. “I’ll have you know that God is not as weird a costume as Moe.”
“Yeah, right.” Jack raised his eyebrows and closed the door, walking back into the lounge-room with a smirk towards John.
“So this is everyone?” John asked, still scanning the room with his eyes and Jack nodded, taking a sip of his beer.
“Yep. All present and accounted for. Carter had me checking invitations before I realised you guys were all that were left.”
“Checking?”
“Yeah, she’s more picking than you’d think.”
“So…ah…” John stopped his beer halfway to his mouth to look at the general, trying hard not to laugh at his costume through the nervousness he was feeling. “Where is Dr Weir?”
“Carter said something about a surprise. I haven’t seen either of them since Carter went off to change.”
“Right.” He smiled kindly as Colonel Carter came walking down the hall with a grin on her face, dressed elegantly as Glinda the Good. John noticed out of the corner of his eye that their own personal God impersonator’s attention was caught and he rolled his eyes and turned to watch the party as he sipped his beer.
John choked on his beer suddenly as he recognised the back of a very familiar head of dark curls. Her hair was pull up in tight barrel curls with a small white ribbon wrapped around as a headband. There was nothing unusual really, for Elizabeth to have her hair pulled up, they were at a Halloween party afterall. What had made him choke on his beer was not her hair, it was her costume.
All he could see was her back, talking to a very enraptured young airman who was undoubtedly agreeing with her chest and not her words. She wore a very small, very un-Elizabeth-like French Maid’s outfit with a practically non-existent skirt.
Belatedly he realised that she’d turned around, raised her eyebrows and was headed towards him. She was standing directly in front of him before he realised the gaping in her blouse and had to close his eyes tightly for a moment.
“Elizabeth.” He greeted.
She nodded in return.
“So,” he swallowed deeply. “...you’re, having fun?”
She nodded again, with a look of surprise at her own answer.
“Elizabeth, are you ok?”
She nodded animatedly and John scrunched up his nose.
“Why aren’t you talking?” his head spun around when he heard Sam and Vala both snort out and try to cover a laugh. He only turned back in time to notice Elizabeth’s glare in their direction before she masked it and smiled sweetly at him.
“J’ai pas le droit de parler anglais”
“What? Elizabeth...”
“Je ne peux pas parler anglais” She tried to clarify but she knew John knew not one word of French. John watched her as she jogged like a poodle in stilettos over and dragged Dr Jackson back with her. She said something in French to him and he nodded before they both turned back to John.
“She wants me to translate for her.” Daniel shrugged and John nodded slowly in confusion.
Elizabeth grabbed Daniel’s shoulder. “Je n’ai pas le droit de parler anglais.” Daniel blinked before she pointed toward John, urging him to pass on the message.
“She says, she’s not allowed to speak English.”
“What? Why?”
Elizabeth groaned and pointed to Sam and Vala who just raised their hands, accepting blame.
“No English at all?”
“Non.” she shook her head.
“Right. Ah, why?”
Sam laughed again and John turned around to see that neither woman could hold it together for much longer. Standing up awkwardly in her dress covered in glittering beads, Sam moved to explain.
“It was a bet, Elizabeth lost. The deal was that we choose her date who she’s required to spend the entire party with, we choose her outfit, her character and she’s not allowed to kill us.”
“What bet?” John looked between Sam and Elizabeth in confusion.
“Sorry, can’t tell you.”
“Elizabeth?” he hoped he could get the answer out of her, translator or no.
“Non.” Was all she said and he took that as a negative.
“She said no.” Daniel clarified anyways and John glared at him.
“Yes, I got that.”
“Tu veux boire quelque chose?” Elizabeth asked with a gentle hand on John’s arm. John turned to Daniel.
“She asked you if you wanted a drink.”
“Oh, no, thanks.” He still so very confused by this.
Apart from the whole ‘can’t speak English’ aspect of their night, John was rather happy with the fact Sam and Vala had chosen him as Elizabeth’s date. It meant regardless of their audience, he could have her arm linked within his for the entire night, he could have her sit beside him, he could bring her drinks and smile sweetly without having to worry that they were spending too much time together. He could sit down at the dining table by her side and slowly slip his hand across her bare thigh with a cheeky smile without anyone noticing. Well, he thought he could.
As John gently brushed his fingers across her knee, instead of Elizabeth turning to him, she turned to General O’Neill on her other side, a scolding look on her face.
“C’est ma jambe mon general, pas celle de Carter.”
Daniel nearly spat his food across the table. And everyone looked at him for an explanation. He stuttered and gasped for air and tried to clear his head before shaking his head and refusing to translate to which Elizabeth was thankful, when she realised it had been John, with a red flush in her cheeks.
“Are you going to eat that?” John questioned, raising his fork above her plate, ready to steal what was left of her steak, but she slapped his hand.
“Oui.”
“Right.”
**
It was getting late but the party still raged inside, drinks were getting to the point where they were spilt on the floor more often than they were swallowed and John had to laugh at the normally well composed Glinda, dancing with the head of the stooges and God standing off to the side with a scowl.
Quietly he tried to slide the back door, but it squeaked a little and she turned around to see him.
“Hey.” He smiled and she inclined her head with a smile before turning back to look up at the stars. Taking her hand within his gently, he started to lead her down the porch and onto the back lawn, towards the lone lawn chair sprawled in the middle.
“The view’s better out here.” He grinned; waggling his eyebrows as he sat her down then lowered himself down beside her. Elizabeth tugged on his collar with a smirk and John smiled.
“James Bond.” He clarified and she nodded, he knew that she’d known.
The world went quiet for a moment as he lost himself in her eyes. She smiled gently and he found it hard not to take her into his arms right there and then. They didn’t even realise that their hands had - of their own accord - linked together in John’s lap before she glanced down at them with a wistful smile.
“Je t’aime.” She whispered and John smirked at her in confusion.
“What’s that mean?”
She just shook her head and leant forward to rest her head on his shoulder, happy for him to wrap his arms around her and lean back on the lawn chair, together.
“Je crois que j’ai un peu trop bu.” Elizabeth laughed and buried her face in his chest, hugging tighter to him.
“Yeah.” He agreed, not having a clue what she said and Elizabeth snorted a laugh before she yawned.
John sat up and removed his jacket when she shivered, tucking it over the pair of them and holding her tighter to his chest. He kissed her forehead as he felt her breathing level out and she drifted off to sleep. He could still hear the shouts and laughter coming from the party, but he too was drunk enough to just happily drift off to sleep with her in the middle of the backyard.
**
Elizabeth woke groggily to see faces peering down at her. “Mornin” Jack chirped, arms folded across his chest. Elizabeth groaned at the sound of his voice when it met her ears, moaning against the ache in her head and buried her face in the warm chest beside her, closing her eyes again.
“Rise and shine.” He attempted to pull the jacket from the pair curled up on the lawn chair, but unconsciously John gripped onto it.
“Go away.” Elizabeth muttered, shuffling just a little more to hide her face. John’s arm tightened around her and she heard him start snoring again.
“Carter, set of a Mark 9 or something will you, wake these two up?”
Sam glanced over from the barbeque where she was standing beside Teal’c as he cooked the bacon. “Sir, leave them alone.”
“No no, they’re gettin’ up.” He kicked the leg of the chair and Elizabeth growled. Jack was taken aback, Elizabeth Weir, actually vocally growled. “Did she just growl at me?” Vala, standing beside him the entire time, prodded John in the side.
“Hey.” He mumbled, shuffling away from the intrusion.
Jack scratched his chin. There had to be a way to get them to wake up. Seeing as sleeping on a lawn chair in front of their friends and team-mates so far wasn’t enough of an embarrassment. As if a light bulb appeared above his head, he clicked his fingers and moved around to the other side and leant close to them. Sam rolled her eyes from her place and shared a smirk with Daniel as Jack leant down and whispered something that no one else could hear.
Immediately John was out of the chair. Elizabeth was rattled for a moment before she looked all around in a panic then visibly relaxed. “John, he’s messing with you.” She said relieved as John continued to search for the supposed ‘representative of the IOA’.
“He’s what?” he spun around. Before Elizabeth could answer though, a smile spread on his lips. “Hey, you spoke English.”
“The party is over, John.” She smirked and squealed when he dived across the chair, tackling her to the grass as he kissed her.
“Hank, buddy!” Jack greeted as General Landry wandered into the backyard. In an instant John rolled away from Elizabeth, leaving her breathless and sprawled on the grass as he tried to look like he hadn’t really been making out with her in front of everyone.
This was definitely being stored away in her mental archives to use against Colonel Carter at a later date and as Elizabeth lent up on her elbows, ignoring the confused and surprised look from the general as he took in her costume, and met eyes with the blonde Colonel, she knew that she knew it.
The End.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff
Characters/Pairing: John/Elizabeth
Summary: “A Halloween party?” he grinned. Elizabeth only smiled briefly before biting her bottom lip.
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis.
Author's Note: A Halloween story - Thank you to the following people - sapphs, mariskatorri, vickysg1, echelon_ga_l and agentcat_47 for helping me out with French translations and to dark_faith366 for putting the french in context. *hugs*
-These are not the accurate translations:
“J’ai pas le droit de parler anglais” - I'm not allowed to speak English.
“Tu veux boire quelque chose?" - Would you like a drink?
“C’est ma jambe mon general, pas celle de Carter.” - That is not Carter's leg, sir.
“Je t’aime.” - I love you.
“Je crois que j’ai un peu trop bu.” - I think i'm drunk.
John’s initial reaction was to be utterly surprised. It had been almost two years since the entire senior staff on Atlantis had returned home together and even longer since they had been allowed even the notion of leaving the SGC. But when Elizabeth came to his quarters on base, a nervous twitch in her eye, glancing from left to right with her fingers wringing a sturdy piece of paper in her hands, he realised she’d lost a bet.
It was a morale thing, they’d said. A booster for lack of a better word. Cards were dealt and messages were sent amongst the senior women of the SGC and Atlantis. No one ever knew what was in the messages; no one ever knew what wagers were set. But when Elizabeth lost, the entire senior staff of Atlantis would suffer along with her.
“Elizabeth?” he questioned, and she found a patch on the wall that held her interest longer than the buttons on his shirt and she held her focus. “…what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” She laughed nervously. “…Ah, I have this, from Colonel Carter, for you.” she held out the piece of paper that her jittering hands had brutalized and watched him intently as he attempted to flatten it out so that he could read the words.
It was an invitation.
“A Halloween party?” he grinned. Elizabeth only smiled briefly before biting her bottom lip.
“Yes, about that, since you brought it up…” John’s brow furrowed at her dramatically un-subtle attempt at making the coming conversation his fault before he smiled sweetly and raised his eyebrows to let her continue. “I-I was wondering, would you care…” she swallowed deeply. “…would you like to come with me?” her final fast paced section of her request was made in barely a whisper of a breath and John grinned, knowing whatever bet she’d lost, he was going to have fun with it.
“What was that Elizabeth?” he marvelled at the diplomatic leader of an intergalactic expedition looking so flustered.
“Would you like to go to the party, with me?”
“I thought that was assumed.” He smirked and Elizabeth’s face only reddened.
“Oh, you’d think so.” She was more nervous than he’d ever seen a living soul. Typically, it made him curious.
“Yes, of course.”
“Right.” She let out a breath. “I’ll see you later then.” She nodded her head before turning to leave though before she could make a break for it, he grasped her elbow gently and turned her back around to face him. He blinked when she did, not realising how close behind her he had become before they were a breath away, chest to chest.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asked, running his fingers along her forearm gently.
“Nothing’s going on, John.” She tried but failed to sound definitive.
“Then why have you just asked me out, to a party the majority of the SGC will be at, when it was your idea to keep this a secret?” his fingers had - without her knowledge - made their way up and into her hair, stroking her scalp as her eyes fluttered shut. Suddenly they burst open again and she realised what he was doing. Manipulating the information out of her with the one thing she couldn’t resist…his touch.
“It’s not a date, per sae. John, it’s just a barbeque…”
“And fancy dress.” He held the invitation up between them and Elizabeth frowned. “…so what will you be?” his hand ran down over her shoulders before resting against her lower back. Elizabeth’s hands came up to rest against his chest, if only to prevent him pressing her any closer to his body. The closer she got, the more likely she was to spill the beans, as it were.
“I don’t know.” Her eyes started to shift and he realised he’d hit the monkey on the head. Her costume was part of the bet, it had to be. She wouldn’t be so nervous if she knew of and was comfortable with what she was going to wear. Reaching up to rest his fingers beneath her chin he turned her head to look into his eyes. These women were definitely a sadistic bunch, he’d give them that.
He nodded his head in silence and leant forward to gently peck her lips. Elizabeth stood there staring for a moment before she realised she was released from his hold and was free to flee at will.
As soon as Elizabeth was out of the room, he immediately started mulling over the best outfit he could conjure to out-do the evil minds of the SG ladies.
**
“Think she’ll like this one?” Vala questioned, holding up a sequined mini-skirt with a matching tank-top and knee-high boots in the other hand. Sam screwed up her nose.
“No, we need something that suits Elizabeth, something…” Sam’s eyes widened in self-satisfaction as she spotted the perfect outfit for a diplomatic negotiator with an intimate knowledge of several complex languages. “…This is perfect.”
“Oo, I like that.” Vala grabbed it out of her hands and immediately Sam snatched it back.
“Come on, we had better go. Elizabeth will arrive any minute and you’ve still gotta make those egg…things.”
“Egg ‘things’?” Vala looked incredulous. “I’ll have you know that Colonel Mitchell’s mother taught me how to make those Egg ‘things’.”
“And?”
“You’re right, I really don’t have anything to fight you on, lets go.”
**
Elizabeth stood on Samantha Carter’s doorstep. She knew that she was going to suffer for this, but as a leader she had to take the good with the bad. It didn’t matter who had lost the bet, one of them was going to be going through what she was going through regardless, those were the terms and she was woman enough to stick by them to the letter.
She rang the bell and within moments a beaming Sam Carter was reaching through the door and dragging her inside. Elizabeth removed her coat as slowly as possible, looking around at the Halloween decorations adorning the Colonel’s normally immaculate home.
“Come on, your costume is this way.” Sam grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and started dragging her down the hall.
“Please tell me it’s not embarrassing. Like the head of a cow, or something?” Elizabeth whined and Sam just grinned over her shoulder while they made their way up the stairs.
“It’s nothing like that, I assure you.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened in horror and she stopped dead in the hallway. “What?” Sam spun around at the sudden halt.
“I’m not going to be half-naked, am I?” the shock and terror on the Atlantean leader’s face was enough to make Sam chuckle.
“Come on, it’s in my room, Vala’s just setting it out for you.”
“I swear, if not killing you wasn’t part of the deal…”
Sam cut her off. “Yes, I know, different parts of my severed corpse would be scattered to the farthest corners of the galaxy.”
“Yay! You’re here!” Vala bounced up from the bed and grabbed Elizabeth’s hand as both Sam and Vala noticed Elizabeth starting to back away when she saw the out-fit on the bed.
“No way am I wearing that!”
“Come on, Elizabeth, we had a deal. We get to pick your date, costume and character.”
“Yeah, but that!?”
“Best part is, Sam says you speak French.” Vala beamed and Elizabeth turned to her quickly.
“What’s that got to do with it?!”
“Well…” Sam let go of her hand and moved to sit on the bed beside the outfit. “…you’re going to be speaking nothing but French for the entire party.”
Elizabeth literally groaned.
“Hey, it could have been worse.” Sam grinned.
“How could it have been worse than that!?” Elizabeth pointed at the barely-there costume on the bed.
“We could have made you dress as Lady Godiva.”
“You’d better get dressed; the party starts in half an hour.” Vala sing-songed as the pair left Elizabeth - mouth still agape - alone in Sam’s room to change.
**
John straightened his jacket as he climbed out of the car. He glanced at Rodney as the other man climbed out behind him. Zelenka’s head popped up over the other side of the car and John had to admit, his Einstein out-fit had been a perfect choice to anger Rodney who stared at him with cold malice.
“Ok, boys, lets go.” John grinned, adjusting his bow-tie before strutting across the road.
“I still don’t get why he got to be James Bond.” Rodney whined.
“What are you talking about?” Radek looked up at him in confusion. “You chose your costume and you said that it fit your absolutely perfectly.”
“That’s until I saw his.”
Radek rolled his eyes and stormed across the road without him, muttering something unsavoury in Czech.
**
“Which one are you?” John grinned as he clapped General O’Neill on the shoulder, taking the offered beer he held out to him when he met them at the door.
“Like you’ve gotta guess. I’m Moe, Larry and Curly are over there.” He pointed to Teal’c and Cameron Mitchell sitting on the couch and John had to hold back the urge to point out that none of the original stooges were black. Jack laughed, poking at John’s tie. “Let me guess, Bond?”
“James Bond.” John smirked and started immediately searching through the crowd for his supposed ‘date’ but she was no where in sight.
“Oh, that figures.”
“Oh, not you as well.” Rodney rolled his eyes, raising his chin in defiance as he walked past the general.
“Well, come on McKay.”
“Hey!” Rodney spun around. “I’ll have you know that God is not as weird a costume as Moe.”
“Yeah, right.” Jack raised his eyebrows and closed the door, walking back into the lounge-room with a smirk towards John.
“So this is everyone?” John asked, still scanning the room with his eyes and Jack nodded, taking a sip of his beer.
“Yep. All present and accounted for. Carter had me checking invitations before I realised you guys were all that were left.”
“Checking?”
“Yeah, she’s more picking than you’d think.”
“So…ah…” John stopped his beer halfway to his mouth to look at the general, trying hard not to laugh at his costume through the nervousness he was feeling. “Where is Dr Weir?”
“Carter said something about a surprise. I haven’t seen either of them since Carter went off to change.”
“Right.” He smiled kindly as Colonel Carter came walking down the hall with a grin on her face, dressed elegantly as Glinda the Good. John noticed out of the corner of his eye that their own personal God impersonator’s attention was caught and he rolled his eyes and turned to watch the party as he sipped his beer.
John choked on his beer suddenly as he recognised the back of a very familiar head of dark curls. Her hair was pull up in tight barrel curls with a small white ribbon wrapped around as a headband. There was nothing unusual really, for Elizabeth to have her hair pulled up, they were at a Halloween party afterall. What had made him choke on his beer was not her hair, it was her costume.
All he could see was her back, talking to a very enraptured young airman who was undoubtedly agreeing with her chest and not her words. She wore a very small, very un-Elizabeth-like French Maid’s outfit with a practically non-existent skirt.
Belatedly he realised that she’d turned around, raised her eyebrows and was headed towards him. She was standing directly in front of him before he realised the gaping in her blouse and had to close his eyes tightly for a moment.
“Elizabeth.” He greeted.
She nodded in return.
“So,” he swallowed deeply. “...you’re, having fun?”
She nodded again, with a look of surprise at her own answer.
“Elizabeth, are you ok?”
She nodded animatedly and John scrunched up his nose.
“Why aren’t you talking?” his head spun around when he heard Sam and Vala both snort out and try to cover a laugh. He only turned back in time to notice Elizabeth’s glare in their direction before she masked it and smiled sweetly at him.
“J’ai pas le droit de parler anglais”
“What? Elizabeth...”
“Je ne peux pas parler anglais” She tried to clarify but she knew John knew not one word of French. John watched her as she jogged like a poodle in stilettos over and dragged Dr Jackson back with her. She said something in French to him and he nodded before they both turned back to John.
“She wants me to translate for her.” Daniel shrugged and John nodded slowly in confusion.
Elizabeth grabbed Daniel’s shoulder. “Je n’ai pas le droit de parler anglais.” Daniel blinked before she pointed toward John, urging him to pass on the message.
“She says, she’s not allowed to speak English.”
“What? Why?”
Elizabeth groaned and pointed to Sam and Vala who just raised their hands, accepting blame.
“No English at all?”
“Non.” she shook her head.
“Right. Ah, why?”
Sam laughed again and John turned around to see that neither woman could hold it together for much longer. Standing up awkwardly in her dress covered in glittering beads, Sam moved to explain.
“It was a bet, Elizabeth lost. The deal was that we choose her date who she’s required to spend the entire party with, we choose her outfit, her character and she’s not allowed to kill us.”
“What bet?” John looked between Sam and Elizabeth in confusion.
“Sorry, can’t tell you.”
“Elizabeth?” he hoped he could get the answer out of her, translator or no.
“Non.” Was all she said and he took that as a negative.
“She said no.” Daniel clarified anyways and John glared at him.
“Yes, I got that.”
“Tu veux boire quelque chose?” Elizabeth asked with a gentle hand on John’s arm. John turned to Daniel.
“She asked you if you wanted a drink.”
“Oh, no, thanks.” He still so very confused by this.
Apart from the whole ‘can’t speak English’ aspect of their night, John was rather happy with the fact Sam and Vala had chosen him as Elizabeth’s date. It meant regardless of their audience, he could have her arm linked within his for the entire night, he could have her sit beside him, he could bring her drinks and smile sweetly without having to worry that they were spending too much time together. He could sit down at the dining table by her side and slowly slip his hand across her bare thigh with a cheeky smile without anyone noticing. Well, he thought he could.
As John gently brushed his fingers across her knee, instead of Elizabeth turning to him, she turned to General O’Neill on her other side, a scolding look on her face.
“C’est ma jambe mon general, pas celle de Carter.”
Daniel nearly spat his food across the table. And everyone looked at him for an explanation. He stuttered and gasped for air and tried to clear his head before shaking his head and refusing to translate to which Elizabeth was thankful, when she realised it had been John, with a red flush in her cheeks.
“Are you going to eat that?” John questioned, raising his fork above her plate, ready to steal what was left of her steak, but she slapped his hand.
“Oui.”
“Right.”
**
It was getting late but the party still raged inside, drinks were getting to the point where they were spilt on the floor more often than they were swallowed and John had to laugh at the normally well composed Glinda, dancing with the head of the stooges and God standing off to the side with a scowl.
Quietly he tried to slide the back door, but it squeaked a little and she turned around to see him.
“Hey.” He smiled and she inclined her head with a smile before turning back to look up at the stars. Taking her hand within his gently, he started to lead her down the porch and onto the back lawn, towards the lone lawn chair sprawled in the middle.
“The view’s better out here.” He grinned; waggling his eyebrows as he sat her down then lowered himself down beside her. Elizabeth tugged on his collar with a smirk and John smiled.
“James Bond.” He clarified and she nodded, he knew that she’d known.
The world went quiet for a moment as he lost himself in her eyes. She smiled gently and he found it hard not to take her into his arms right there and then. They didn’t even realise that their hands had - of their own accord - linked together in John’s lap before she glanced down at them with a wistful smile.
“Je t’aime.” She whispered and John smirked at her in confusion.
“What’s that mean?”
She just shook her head and leant forward to rest her head on his shoulder, happy for him to wrap his arms around her and lean back on the lawn chair, together.
“Je crois que j’ai un peu trop bu.” Elizabeth laughed and buried her face in his chest, hugging tighter to him.
“Yeah.” He agreed, not having a clue what she said and Elizabeth snorted a laugh before she yawned.
John sat up and removed his jacket when she shivered, tucking it over the pair of them and holding her tighter to his chest. He kissed her forehead as he felt her breathing level out and she drifted off to sleep. He could still hear the shouts and laughter coming from the party, but he too was drunk enough to just happily drift off to sleep with her in the middle of the backyard.
**
Elizabeth woke groggily to see faces peering down at her. “Mornin” Jack chirped, arms folded across his chest. Elizabeth groaned at the sound of his voice when it met her ears, moaning against the ache in her head and buried her face in the warm chest beside her, closing her eyes again.
“Rise and shine.” He attempted to pull the jacket from the pair curled up on the lawn chair, but unconsciously John gripped onto it.
“Go away.” Elizabeth muttered, shuffling just a little more to hide her face. John’s arm tightened around her and she heard him start snoring again.
“Carter, set of a Mark 9 or something will you, wake these two up?”
Sam glanced over from the barbeque where she was standing beside Teal’c as he cooked the bacon. “Sir, leave them alone.”
“No no, they’re gettin’ up.” He kicked the leg of the chair and Elizabeth growled. Jack was taken aback, Elizabeth Weir, actually vocally growled. “Did she just growl at me?” Vala, standing beside him the entire time, prodded John in the side.
“Hey.” He mumbled, shuffling away from the intrusion.
Jack scratched his chin. There had to be a way to get them to wake up. Seeing as sleeping on a lawn chair in front of their friends and team-mates so far wasn’t enough of an embarrassment. As if a light bulb appeared above his head, he clicked his fingers and moved around to the other side and leant close to them. Sam rolled her eyes from her place and shared a smirk with Daniel as Jack leant down and whispered something that no one else could hear.
Immediately John was out of the chair. Elizabeth was rattled for a moment before she looked all around in a panic then visibly relaxed. “John, he’s messing with you.” She said relieved as John continued to search for the supposed ‘representative of the IOA’.
“He’s what?” he spun around. Before Elizabeth could answer though, a smile spread on his lips. “Hey, you spoke English.”
“The party is over, John.” She smirked and squealed when he dived across the chair, tackling her to the grass as he kissed her.
“Hank, buddy!” Jack greeted as General Landry wandered into the backyard. In an instant John rolled away from Elizabeth, leaving her breathless and sprawled on the grass as he tried to look like he hadn’t really been making out with her in front of everyone.
This was definitely being stored away in her mental archives to use against Colonel Carter at a later date and as Elizabeth lent up on her elbows, ignoring the confused and surprised look from the general as he took in her costume, and met eyes with the blonde Colonel, she knew that she knew it.
The End.