(no subject)
updating my life. and Im not cutting this because i dont feel like it! so NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
well, not to much energy to even write this. I have been applying for jobs everywhere.. So far nothing.. not even a call. Eveytime my phone rings it's for bill! Fuck bill. He had my phone number obviously before i did which was a very long time ago! STOP CALLING FOR BILL!
anyways, Im feeling pretty down.. If I don't get a job soon I won't be able to go to school next year. I'm going to be applying for whatever i can money wise for school, but Im in a weird position. Hopefully they will hear me out and give me osap.. I'm trying really hard and it's depressing to know that My life is slowly getting worse and worse. i don't even make enough to pay rent. I knew this would happen.. but no, nobody listen to me. What do i know right? Kinda feel like the odds are against me. I knwo people have helped me in the past and im extremly grateful for everything. Without it I wouldnt have even gotten here. But,as of right now I have to luck. no faith with anything. what's going to happen? There is no way I can pay all of what is required of me when I dont have the income. I know I would be totally screwed without the job i have now.. and im trying to get a full time one. i am only working 10 hours if that.. Not enough for anything. and yet, still required to do so. What can you do when you're trying your best and nothing is working out. Try some more? I have been. But my spirts are down and I fear that I will have to choose between school and living.. and then what? i wait longer to get an education? WHY! I'm trying! why do those get try get punished.. Ohh.. but im not trying hard enough right? that's what you will say to me.. Well, then you can fuck off and stop judging me.. Because i am trying hard... I've been doing it everyday.. I could be a bum, not doing anything with my lie, and yet here i am.. struggling just to go to schooland have an ok life. what am I going to have to do? move back with my mom? just to get some money pushed aside so i can maybe go to school,live in a small cramped hour filled with smoke? if i did that i would surely loose this job, and loose all the money other have helped me put aside as of yet, technically it isnt my money, as Im reminded. This I know, but then again the money i make now isnt my money either.. as soon as i get it it goes away. Nopthing I can help I guess.. Now that i odnt even make enough for the end of the month what now? get yelled at? For what trying and it not worjing. Will I ever have money? MY money? Money makes the world go round and if i dont have any I guess my world is well, stopped? i can't even think about this anymore. It makes me so depressed.. I may seem fine, but only time will tell.
Let me guess things will be ok right? Yeah.. the # 1 comeback to someone feeling crappy!
well, not to much energy to even write this. I have been applying for jobs everywhere.. So far nothing.. not even a call. Eveytime my phone rings it's for bill! Fuck bill. He had my phone number obviously before i did which was a very long time ago! STOP CALLING FOR BILL!
anyways, Im feeling pretty down.. If I don't get a job soon I won't be able to go to school next year. I'm going to be applying for whatever i can money wise for school, but Im in a weird position. Hopefully they will hear me out and give me osap.. I'm trying really hard and it's depressing to know that My life is slowly getting worse and worse. i don't even make enough to pay rent. I knew this would happen.. but no, nobody listen to me. What do i know right? Kinda feel like the odds are against me. I knwo people have helped me in the past and im extremly grateful for everything. Without it I wouldnt have even gotten here. But,as of right now I have to luck. no faith with anything. what's going to happen? There is no way I can pay all of what is required of me when I dont have the income. I know I would be totally screwed without the job i have now.. and im trying to get a full time one. i am only working 10 hours if that.. Not enough for anything. and yet, still required to do so. What can you do when you're trying your best and nothing is working out. Try some more? I have been. But my spirts are down and I fear that I will have to choose between school and living.. and then what? i wait longer to get an education? WHY! I'm trying! why do those get try get punished.. Ohh.. but im not trying hard enough right? that's what you will say to me.. Well, then you can fuck off and stop judging me.. Because i am trying hard... I've been doing it everyday.. I could be a bum, not doing anything with my lie, and yet here i am.. struggling just to go to schooland have an ok life. what am I going to have to do? move back with my mom? just to get some money pushed aside so i can maybe go to school,live in a small cramped hour filled with smoke? if i did that i would surely loose this job, and loose all the money other have helped me put aside as of yet, technically it isnt my money, as Im reminded. This I know, but then again the money i make now isnt my money either.. as soon as i get it it goes away. Nopthing I can help I guess.. Now that i odnt even make enough for the end of the month what now? get yelled at? For what trying and it not worjing. Will I ever have money? MY money? Money makes the world go round and if i dont have any I guess my world is well, stopped? i can't even think about this anymore. It makes me so depressed.. I may seem fine, but only time will tell.
Let me guess things will be ok right? Yeah.. the # 1 comeback to someone feeling crappy!