we awoke in the mornin', caught by surprise...
The movie was fun, I must say. Though I am disappointed that half the people who went didn't really like the movie. I liked it, and had a most excellent time, so whateve.
{frustration}
Though this may be near impossible, I hope that by next year or junior year, I can somehow make enough money, or get an awesome scholarship, so that I can pay for my college by myself. A prospect more attainable is really for me to make enough to pay for half, so that my dad can pay the other half, and we can leave it at that.
I'm tired of dealing with my step-mother. She really doesn't deserve that title.
Sometimes I'm not quite sure what I am supposed to think of my father. I know that he has fucked up quite alot, and that he may have been trying his best, but sometimes I wonder. I wonder if what he tells me is accurate. Though I think he should pay for all of my college, and that that would probably be fair, I don't know how much my mom paid for josh's college. If it wasn't very much, then it isn't fair for my dad to pay for all of mine. I'm extremely frustrated at my parents right now. It's just that if I were to not get involved in all of this shit, then nothing would happen. My dad would maybe pay for half, and my mom would have to somehow manage to get the rest. I despise having to feel bad for wanting to go to a good college. I could be going to Austin or UTD, but i wouldn't be happy there. Or maybe I would, I don't really know. Maybe taking a year off would have been a good idea.
There is so much to do before I leave. I have to finish going through my room, which is driving me crazy, and make the final decisions on what to bring, and then pack it all. I have to put all of art stuff away, it's so cluttering. I have to destroy my high school stuff, I no longer really need it.
Surprisingly, I'm feeling rather unstable at the moment. The one thing that used to be was no longer reliable, and now I don't really have anything. I do, but not that seemingly endless stable entity that I'm longing for. I just have to wait it out, I suppose. *sigh* I guess i just want to feel safe...
I need to have fun. I want to go and party and get tipsy, and be around my friends. I need to relax and stop worrying, but try telling that to my mind, I can think about many things at once (thank you, adhd), and therefore, I never stop thinking about it. I just never really give it my full attention.
Oh, a first happened to me! First time to stay up until 6:30 talking on the phone: last night. Also, First time to sleep until 4:45: today.
oOooo babay.
{frustration}
Though this may be near impossible, I hope that by next year or junior year, I can somehow make enough money, or get an awesome scholarship, so that I can pay for my college by myself. A prospect more attainable is really for me to make enough to pay for half, so that my dad can pay the other half, and we can leave it at that.
I'm tired of dealing with my step-mother. She really doesn't deserve that title.
Sometimes I'm not quite sure what I am supposed to think of my father. I know that he has fucked up quite alot, and that he may have been trying his best, but sometimes I wonder. I wonder if what he tells me is accurate. Though I think he should pay for all of my college, and that that would probably be fair, I don't know how much my mom paid for josh's college. If it wasn't very much, then it isn't fair for my dad to pay for all of mine. I'm extremely frustrated at my parents right now. It's just that if I were to not get involved in all of this shit, then nothing would happen. My dad would maybe pay for half, and my mom would have to somehow manage to get the rest. I despise having to feel bad for wanting to go to a good college. I could be going to Austin or UTD, but i wouldn't be happy there. Or maybe I would, I don't really know. Maybe taking a year off would have been a good idea.
There is so much to do before I leave. I have to finish going through my room, which is driving me crazy, and make the final decisions on what to bring, and then pack it all. I have to put all of art stuff away, it's so cluttering. I have to destroy my high school stuff, I no longer really need it.
Surprisingly, I'm feeling rather unstable at the moment. The one thing that used to be was no longer reliable, and now I don't really have anything. I do, but not that seemingly endless stable entity that I'm longing for. I just have to wait it out, I suppose. *sigh* I guess i just want to feel safe...
I need to have fun. I want to go and party and get tipsy, and be around my friends. I need to relax and stop worrying, but try telling that to my mind, I can think about many things at once (thank you, adhd), and therefore, I never stop thinking about it. I just never really give it my full attention.
Oh, a first happened to me! First time to stay up until 6:30 talking on the phone: last night. Also, First time to sleep until 4:45: today.
oOooo babay.