Feb 09, 2008 00:18
I never wanted to get married. Never. But I did, and I can’t even really say why. I wish I could say it was because I loved Sam … maybe I did, I don’t know, but that’s not why I married him. I could say it was because of Lee, and maybe that’s a little more true, but it’s still just another frakkin’ excuse.
I’m the one who got married. I did it to myself. I did it to both of us. And what has it brought either of us but misery? I should’ve known. I did know, but I did it anyway. What the hell was wrong with me?
Marriage is a promise to the gods; it’s sacred. It’s supposed to be sacred, at least, and anyone who can’t live up to that kind of a promise has no business making it, love or no love.
I wish I could say I don’t believe in love, but that’s not true either. I may not be able to define it, but it exists. I believe in it like I believe in the cylons - it’s out there, it hardly makes any sense, and it leaves you far more frakked in the head than you were before.
Gods, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I shouldn’t ever be allowed to make a serious decision without first going twenty-four hours without sex or alcohol.
… except then I’d never decide anything. But maybe that would be for the best.
Muse: Kara Thrace
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Word Count: 249