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God is trying to make me grow... but i don't wanna!!! last night on the way home i screamed and cried to God like i haven't in a long time. i find that most of my good conversations with God happen while i'm in the car. it was good to get it all out there... frusterations and all. God is here to help me. he's been trying... i just sometimes don't want the help. or i don't like the way he wants things to go. today... i felt numb to all those emotions i had last night. i was happy... i had a good time with friends, but it was like everytime i started thinking about all the crap from yesterday, it was almost like it was just a surreal thing and isn't a big deal. i think i'm gonna go sit outside and talk to God. yeah... i think that's what i need.