The first.
The blue-haired one (myself that is, the primary core) is the playful trickster. Her name is Kausha: she's the only one WITH a name and really that's only part of 12 different labels. The usha are whistled slightly, and there's a sound in the vowel part humans can't make. The u as dots over it.
Her story goes that she caused some trouble and the fall of the homeworld was somehow her/my fault. There was a boy involved, of course. He saved her life while also leaving her behind during the enslavement of the race. There was an entire family tree I'd drawn in those early days, outlining the color of each ancestor's hair even though there were times I knew someone existed but didn't know their looks so made it up. And it all came down to her, whose hair was black like her father's but with the blue streak - the bright color from her mother. As if a raven had married a bird of paradise (although her mother was fiery like the phoenix) and she was the result. (I think Kausha is more like a bird of paradise, although Taus is a swift hawk and used to be a swallow. There are no hummingbirds before you ask. But since Kausha can shift, I imagine she can be anything.) Her parents came from two separate clans and their union was significant, although too little too late.
Birds figured very prominently although I didn't realize it. But I look back on those early first memories to be recovered and can now recognize that I thought of myself as an avian, I just didn't recognize the difference much. I knew my hair wasn't hair; it was like a bird's down and would only change upon maturity. I knew my hair color was rare and signified my rarity, and that I was very vain over the fact. That my eye color was purple, or maybe it was blue, but I chose purple to draw because it was romantic. And that when I drew my people and my race, I drew very large human eyes disproportionate in a tiny head with fine filtered hair that flowed down and around... like Greys, but tall, lithe and graceful. And quite extinct. Try as I might I can't draw the memories the way I used to. I can remember the artwork I did (now destroyed) but the pictures won't come out anymore.
And memories of fields of flowers that towered over me. Not poppies, not like in the Wizard of Oz. But perhaps like the empty trailer lot filled with black-eyed susans when I was a child that I'd sit in and feel the warmth of the sun. Back then the memories barely filtered in that of an older brother who died of the plague as did her father and so many others. Now the memories are deeper with other things, so that I have to tread carefully. I am unsure what's real and what's implanted, or even if any of it was ever real at all.
Her story goes that she caused some trouble and the fall of the homeworld was somehow her/my fault. There was a boy involved, of course. He saved her life while also leaving her behind during the enslavement of the race. There was an entire family tree I'd drawn in those early days, outlining the color of each ancestor's hair even though there were times I knew someone existed but didn't know their looks so made it up. And it all came down to her, whose hair was black like her father's but with the blue streak - the bright color from her mother. As if a raven had married a bird of paradise (although her mother was fiery like the phoenix) and she was the result. (I think Kausha is more like a bird of paradise, although Taus is a swift hawk and used to be a swallow. There are no hummingbirds before you ask. But since Kausha can shift, I imagine she can be anything.) Her parents came from two separate clans and their union was significant, although too little too late.
Birds figured very prominently although I didn't realize it. But I look back on those early first memories to be recovered and can now recognize that I thought of myself as an avian, I just didn't recognize the difference much. I knew my hair wasn't hair; it was like a bird's down and would only change upon maturity. I knew my hair color was rare and signified my rarity, and that I was very vain over the fact. That my eye color was purple, or maybe it was blue, but I chose purple to draw because it was romantic. And that when I drew my people and my race, I drew very large human eyes disproportionate in a tiny head with fine filtered hair that flowed down and around... like Greys, but tall, lithe and graceful. And quite extinct. Try as I might I can't draw the memories the way I used to. I can remember the artwork I did (now destroyed) but the pictures won't come out anymore.
And memories of fields of flowers that towered over me. Not poppies, not like in the Wizard of Oz. But perhaps like the empty trailer lot filled with black-eyed susans when I was a child that I'd sit in and feel the warmth of the sun. Back then the memories barely filtered in that of an older brother who died of the plague as did her father and so many others. Now the memories are deeper with other things, so that I have to tread carefully. I am unsure what's real and what's implanted, or even if any of it was ever real at all.