(no subject)
well, this has pretty much been the worst week of my life. I'm completely miserable. and I'm sick because of being so stressed out, but nobody cares. whatever. I give up. I give up on everything, because anything I even get remotely excited or happy about, just goes all downhill. I learned this the hardest way possible. but its the truth, and I'm tired of learning everything the 'hard way', and I'm tired of always being let down, or lied to. I'm so done with everything. I'm done with being lied to about the dumbest shit ever, and I'm tired of trusting people and not being trusted in return. I'm tired of being hurt intentionally, when I never did anything to hurt anyone. AND I'm tired of being sick from being so stressed out, because its not going to get any better. ever. nothing is ever going to be better, or even remotely good, ever again, so I'm just giving up now so I don't get hurt, and I don't get my hopes up. I'm tired of questioning myself about certain things, which I'll never REALLY know what goes on with ANYTHING, because I obviously can't be trusted enough to be told things like this. which is absolute bullshit. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep, to the point where I barely sleep, if at all. and most of all, I'm tired of having someone SAY they care for me, but actually don't, because if they did, then they'd know not to lie to me, and they'd know to trust me, and they should know that the fact that I love them SHOULD be enough, but, of course, it isn't. the fact that I'd do anything for this person isn't enough, the fact that I practically HAVE done anything and everything for this person isn't enough. the fact that I've given up everything I've ever had for this person, isn't enough. the fact that I care more for this person than I do myself doesn't matter. nothing matters anymore. so, I'm not going to make any attempt to do anything, because it all just comes back on me. but whatever. I'm not important to anyone anymore, and that breaks my heart, but I give up. I'm not even trying anymore. I'm done.