(Untitled)
Oh thank god. No more tour. And I'm done doing my little stint on Last Comic Standing. Rejoice for I have returned to the land of Holy Shit It's Fucking Hot As Sweaty Balls.
When I got home, it was 100 degrees in my house. IN MY HOUSE. What kind of shit is this??
So how are you lovely people?
When I got home, it was 100 degrees in my house. IN MY HOUSE. What kind of shit is this??
So how are you lovely people?
Ew.
Reply
Reply
No, I meant "Ew, you wrote an entry". :P
Do you not have air conditioning? Maybe if you turned it on, it wouldn't be as hot as sweaty balls.
Reply
I do! I just got home and it wasn't on because I was awaaaaaaay~ maybe someone should pay more attention.
Reply
I know you are, but what am I?
Well, is it cooler now? Summer's hot. You could always take your clothes off and lay in a kiddie pool full of ice cubes.
Not that I've done that before.
Reply
A little cooler, yeah.
Did you scare the little children by being in their kiddie pool? That's not very nice.
Reply
That doesn't even make sense.
Good. Try sitting by the A.C. duct and sipping some lemonade or something.
No, I wanted till they weren't around and then I took it. That's how I roll. God, I've missed you.
Reply
I shall try. If I can't, I'm coming to find your kiddie pool and scaring all the kids. And steal your ice cubes, for I am lazy and cannot make my own.
Well that's good, you wouldn't want to traumatize anyone by letting them see you in a speedo. You bad bad man, taking children's toys. Aww I missed you too, Tweedles.
Reply
Your face is no fun, Duchy. Ha HO. That doesn't make any sense, either...
You'd have to get past my fiercesome attack dog. He's a black belt in karate. Your refrigerator doesn't have an ice maker? Wow. How do you live?
I traumatize myself when I wear speedos. That's why I don't. I know, I'm a horrible man. I'm such a bastard.
Reply
Oh snap, attack dog. No biting the ankles, anything but the ankles! It doesn't!! A travesty. I might die.
You are. A horrible horrible man. Tell that woman of yours to give you a spanking. I bet you'd like that, you kinky boy.
Reply
...Yeah, I read that wrong.
He eats ankles for breakfast. You need to get yourself a new fridge, dear. SAY, why don't you pop over to my restaurant and I'll give you some ice? Or, better yet, a gift card to Sears so you can get a newer, better, frigerfrater?
Wahahaha. I don't have to tell her to. She loves it. ...She might kick my ass for saying that.
Reply
My poor ankles. I do I guess. Do they even make ones without ice makers anymore? Whatever happened to sticking water in one of those cuppy things? Damn. I feel old. Aw shucks, you're gonna gimme ice, Tweedles?
She spanks you? Woah. Watch out, sounds like you've got yourself a live one there.
Reply
IT'S ONLY A ONE-LETTER-DIFFERENCE!
The cuppy things are so 1999. This is the 2000s now. Everything is done by machines. Of course I'd give you ice! There's very little I wouldn't do for a friend. :) Still think I'm a twatface boogerhead?
She spanks me because she and I both know that I like it.
Reply
DO I LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GIRL THAT DOESN'T LIKE BIG CLOCKS?
I need a robot to deliver me ice. That's totally what I need. Well since you called me a friend, you're a special twatface boogerhead.
Kinky. Put that shit on youtube.
Reply
YOU LIKE BIG CLOCKS AND YOU CANNOT LIE?
I think they make those. Or they're working on it. Robots shall take over the Earth one day. Mark my words. Aww, thanks, Duchy. I'll give you a discount on the ice, then. Just $10 a cube.
HA. No!
Reply
YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY.
I hope they're like robots from Short Circuit and not I-Robot. Or maybe hot robots like on BSG. 10 dollars a cube? GOOD LAWD that's a lotta money! Between gas and ice I will be broke.
You'd get a whole bunch of hits! I'll pimp you out.
Reply
Leave a comment