to give a good laugh
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
>rules from the male side. These are our rules!
>Please note... these are all numbered "1"
>ON PURPOSE!
>
>1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>We need it up, you need it down.
>You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
>or the changing of the tides.
>Let it be.
>
>1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
>1. Crying is blackmail.
>
>1. Ask for what you want.
>Let us be clear on thisone:
>Subtle hints do not work!
>Strong hints do not work!
>Obvious hints do not work!
>Just say it!
>
>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
>uestion.
>
>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
>That's what we do.
>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
>See a doctor.
>
>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
>don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>
>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>Don't ask us.
>
>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
>and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
>we meant the other one.
>
>1. You can either ask us todo something
>or tell us how you want it done.
>Not both.
>If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>1. Whenever possible,
>please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
>
>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
>
>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
>fruit.
>We have no idea what mauve is.
>
>1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>We do that.
>
>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
>we will act like nothing's wrong.
>We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
>expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
>isfine...Really.
>
>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
>prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>or monster trucks.
>
>1. You have enough clothes.
>
>1. You have too many shoes.
>
>1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
>1. Thank you for reading this.
>Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>
>rules from the male side. These are our rules!
>Please note... these are all numbered "1"
>ON PURPOSE!
>
>1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>We need it up, you need it down.
>You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
>or the changing of the tides.
>Let it be.
>
>1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
>1. Crying is blackmail.
>
>1. Ask for what you want.
>Let us be clear on thisone:
>Subtle hints do not work!
>Strong hints do not work!
>Obvious hints do not work!
>Just say it!
>
>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
>uestion.
>
>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
>That's what we do.
>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
>See a doctor.
>
>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
>don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>
>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>Don't ask us.
>
>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
>and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
>we meant the other one.
>
>1. You can either ask us todo something
>or tell us how you want it done.
>Not both.
>If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>1. Whenever possible,
>please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
>
>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
>
>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
>fruit.
>We have no idea what mauve is.
>
>1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>We do that.
>
>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
>we will act like nothing's wrong.
>We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
>expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
>isfine...Really.
>
>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
>prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>or monster trucks.
>
>1. You have enough clothes.
>
>1. You have too many shoes.
>
>1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
>1. Thank you for reading this.
>Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>