(no subject)
i hate turning to online journals to amuse myself, but theres really no other option when it comes to releasing idle banter. i couldnt bring myself to write things like this on paper because at least online i can claim its directed toward other people. otherwise i'd come off as a sad drunk dostoevsky-style radical, recording things for myself to read in the future and drink more because of. but eh, my spring break has been a little odd... i attended two journalism classes at cal state la. its a class of seven people in a tiny room with a professor that curses and makes LSD references, but this is made amusing and charming by the fact that he looks like a tiny gay caesar... we were talking about zeitgeists and he mentioned people having to have certain shoes or clothes to fit in when theyre younger and he paused and looked at my wallabees and said with a slight look of disgust "did you have to have those shoes?" ...at the end of class he said to bobby "she should be writing something for me, if shes in this class" and bobby said "oh no, shes not coming again. shes on spring break and... this is how shes choosing to spend it..." i nodded and smiled wide and realised what an ass i am.
the other day in the car my mother and i were trying to think of how a certain beatles song went and when she was getting out and walking into a store, i leaned out of the car window into the crowded sidewalk, pointed, and shouted "HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN!" she wheeled around, pointed at full arms length and shouted "YES!"
spring break allows time for thought, and that ultimately brings me to the subject of the meaning of life whether i like it or not. damn identity moratorium. it makes me think about how many times ive stared into space off pv views with wide eyes. i never take the subject seriously for more than five minutes though; thats all my stunted brain will allow, thank god. i start making uncomfortable jokes to myself (pssh! silly inner monologue!) and deciding resolutely to deal first with matters of real importance. i think last time this preeminent business was finding a trisyllabic rhyme for "catafalque."
but speaking in the style of a haggard, overworked looking man i met at cal state la, my last thoughts on the subject of life will be this: when i'm old, i'll take pleasure in getting people to push my wheelchair around and jiggle m'legs.