(no subject)
I'm not gonna be able to fall asleep until I get these thoughts out of my mind so, here it goes.
Sometimes I wish I didn't fall in love at such a young age. I'm 19 years old. I should be out having a good time with my friends and making out with every good looking person that comes near me. Instead I lay in my bed at night, hoping that he is thinking the same thoughts that are keeping me from falling asleep. Sometimes I am sure that he just has to be. But other times I'm weary. And it scares me. To be in love with someone who doesn't love you back? What a horrible fate. But, that's not really the point of what I'm trying to get across.
Here's what I'm trying to say. I have loved you from day one. And I know that you know that. I have made it quite obvious in the time we were together and even in the times when we were not. Because of you I have felt the highest highs of my life and the lowest lows. I have loved you so greatly and I have loathed you so deeply. And I wonder, how can you love someone so much and yet feel such disgust and contempt for that same person at the same time? It has boggled me for a long time now and I feel like I will never know the answer, but what I do know is what my heart tells me. It tells me that I love you. I always have and I know that I always will. I have always known that you will be the one who will have my heart forever. But it also tells me that I don't need to put up with your mind games anymore. It tells me that there are other people out there who won't tell me they will call, and then won't. There are people out there who won't say they will be there, and then won't.
So, what do I do now? Nothing, I suppose. It's all up to you. My heart is on the fence. It's up to you to decide which way it falls.
Sometimes I wish I didn't fall in love at such a young age. I'm 19 years old. I should be out having a good time with my friends and making out with every good looking person that comes near me. Instead I lay in my bed at night, hoping that he is thinking the same thoughts that are keeping me from falling asleep. Sometimes I am sure that he just has to be. But other times I'm weary. And it scares me. To be in love with someone who doesn't love you back? What a horrible fate. But, that's not really the point of what I'm trying to get across.
Here's what I'm trying to say. I have loved you from day one. And I know that you know that. I have made it quite obvious in the time we were together and even in the times when we were not. Because of you I have felt the highest highs of my life and the lowest lows. I have loved you so greatly and I have loathed you so deeply. And I wonder, how can you love someone so much and yet feel such disgust and contempt for that same person at the same time? It has boggled me for a long time now and I feel like I will never know the answer, but what I do know is what my heart tells me. It tells me that I love you. I always have and I know that I always will. I have always known that you will be the one who will have my heart forever. But it also tells me that I don't need to put up with your mind games anymore. It tells me that there are other people out there who won't tell me they will call, and then won't. There are people out there who won't say they will be there, and then won't.
So, what do I do now? Nothing, I suppose. It's all up to you. My heart is on the fence. It's up to you to decide which way it falls.