.....
I don't know... I just don't know... I thought I was past so much. I thought I was past making my life and situation even worse.. I thought I was fine and that all was good. I thought... Many things.....sigh.... I just don't know anymore. I'm so upset at myself right now. I just keep making things worse.. And I don't know why...???
When I'm honest I make things worse, when I hide things I make things worse. So I don't know where to go or what to do...
Honestly, I just don't know about anything anymore...
I don't know where I'm going.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm literally living day to day.
I'm grateful and thankful for my friends and family, so why is it that I keep inadvertently pushing some away, when they mean the most to still be in my life?
Yes I know the break up is hitting me hardest, and that is because I wasn't the one that ended it, so I understand that... But seriously, why is it that I always find a way to make it worse by trying not to, by just being open and honest so that it is known how I feel...
I found myself emotionally back in a place I left months ago, I was shocked that I felt that way again, and surprised that it came back up... And for no reason at all, it was just there, I don’t know why. And when asked about it I told the truth. I was concerned with how it had shaken me.. More concerned about what I was doing to my friend by even saying anything, but really, if I can’t trust my best friend who can I trust?
But I’m afraid I scared them again, and that it cost me their trust. With the actions that followed, that is how it felt. I don’t want my feelings spared. Because unless I know what I do wrong, I can’t change it, or grow from it. However, I know I did one thing wrong, I forgot. Can a friendship be so fragile? I hope I am wrong about it this time and that the friendship is stronger.
When I'm honest I make things worse, when I hide things I make things worse. So I don't know where to go or what to do...
Honestly, I just don't know about anything anymore...
I don't know where I'm going.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm literally living day to day.
I'm grateful and thankful for my friends and family, so why is it that I keep inadvertently pushing some away, when they mean the most to still be in my life?
Yes I know the break up is hitting me hardest, and that is because I wasn't the one that ended it, so I understand that... But seriously, why is it that I always find a way to make it worse by trying not to, by just being open and honest so that it is known how I feel...
I found myself emotionally back in a place I left months ago, I was shocked that I felt that way again, and surprised that it came back up... And for no reason at all, it was just there, I don’t know why. And when asked about it I told the truth. I was concerned with how it had shaken me.. More concerned about what I was doing to my friend by even saying anything, but really, if I can’t trust my best friend who can I trust?
But I’m afraid I scared them again, and that it cost me their trust. With the actions that followed, that is how it felt. I don’t want my feelings spared. Because unless I know what I do wrong, I can’t change it, or grow from it. However, I know I did one thing wrong, I forgot. Can a friendship be so fragile? I hope I am wrong about it this time and that the friendship is stronger.