(no subject)
I am exhausted from goodbyes. I've spent all day running around to various people sending good wishes for the future. One that I will not be a part of for them.
I know everyone goes through this but it's still hard.
Yesterday I had to say goodbye to my dear friend Noah. That's when it hit me what these goodbyes mean. It means, "Bye! I MIGHT see you during Thanksgiving but probably not so hasta la vista until winter break! Oh wait, even then we may never see each other. So summer, I guess? But by that time you've moved on from high school and those friends and even though you meant a lot to me in our physics class and I'm really a big fan, we're probably not going to see each other again. Well, until we run into each other somewhere unexpected and awkwardly laugh and ask the standard questions. So, really, this is good bye to all times that we have been comfortable just being in the other's presence."
Wonderful.
That's when I started sobbing into his chest in front of twenty or thirty other people. I didn't care. I just missed him already.
It's funny how many ways love can present itself. I suppose I'm realizing that now as well. Different loves beg for different goodbyes.
It's time for me to go to bed.
Good night world.
Sleep well
and wake up tomorrow appreciating the routine.
I know everyone goes through this but it's still hard.
Yesterday I had to say goodbye to my dear friend Noah. That's when it hit me what these goodbyes mean. It means, "Bye! I MIGHT see you during Thanksgiving but probably not so hasta la vista until winter break! Oh wait, even then we may never see each other. So summer, I guess? But by that time you've moved on from high school and those friends and even though you meant a lot to me in our physics class and I'm really a big fan, we're probably not going to see each other again. Well, until we run into each other somewhere unexpected and awkwardly laugh and ask the standard questions. So, really, this is good bye to all times that we have been comfortable just being in the other's presence."
Wonderful.
That's when I started sobbing into his chest in front of twenty or thirty other people. I didn't care. I just missed him already.
It's funny how many ways love can present itself. I suppose I'm realizing that now as well. Different loves beg for different goodbyes.
It's time for me to go to bed.
Good night world.
Sleep well
and wake up tomorrow appreciating the routine.