Freaks [23/23]
Title: Freaks [23/23] - Completed
Author: spazzyskittles/Tiffany
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Jon/Spencer
POV: 1st (Ryan's)
Summary: An accident lands Ryan in the hospital, and he meets Jon, who tells him of a mysterious patient on their floor. There's something not quite right about him, but then again, there's something not quite right about Ryan as well.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Panic at the Disco. This is all just a by-product of an overactive imagination.
Author Notes: This is a completed story and will be updated every other day. Thanks to my beta pinkkchocolate, I couldn't have done it without you.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 16B | 20B
Epilogue - Four months later
"Ryan! Stop fussing. Your hair looks fine," Brendon says as he pulls my hand away from the back of my head.
"Do I really have to go?" I ask him, as those old feelings of anxiety start to well up inside me. As much as things have changed, old habits die hard.
"Well, no one is forcing you to go or anything. It's just that Jon would really like it if his good friend showed up at his party with a hot date on his arm."
I eye him skeptically. "And where can I get one of these hot dates?"
He punches me in the arm and kisses me on the cheek. I feel my face growing warm, and I slip an arm around his waist. “Oh, I guess I found one,” I mutter, and Brendon laughs.
“Look at you being all flirty,” he teases, poking me lightly in the chest. I tilt my head down to kiss him, still receiving that light-headed feeling when I do.
“Oh, jeez. I don’t need to see that,” comes Spencer voice from behind me, and I turn around, breaking the kiss, to see him standing in front of the hallway entrance. “We’re going to be late.”
“Excuse you, Spence. We have been waiting for you,” I say as my hand slips down to grasp Brendon’s as we follow Spencer out of the apartment, me swinging the car keys in my other hand.
“Well, it’s Jon’s party, and I have to look nice,” he mumbles, and Brendon and I just can’t help but snicker as we get into the car. “Oh, fuck you both.”
Brendon and Spencer talk some more - from what I can gather, Brendon is making fun of Spencer - while I drive. The anxiety creeping up my neck and making my shoulders tense helps to drown out their banter. It’s too soon.
I drive past Jon’s house and search for parking, and once we’re settled in a spot down the street, Spencer quickly gets out to walk to the house, leaving me and Brendon to trail behind him. Without hesitation, Brendon grabs my hand and matches my slow gait. I remind myself to stand up straight, but it doesn’t exactly help enough with my confidence.
All of a sudden, Brendon stops, just a few yards away from the concrete walkway leading to Jon’s door. The thumping music is fairly audible from we are. “Are you okay?” he asks, concerned.
“What makes you think I’m not okay?” I ask, answering his question with a question.
He frowns and looks down at our clasped hands. “Because you’re holding my hand a lot more tightly than you usually do.”
“Oh, sorry!” I say, my eyes widening and my grip loosening.
“It’s alright; you weren’t killing me or anything,” Brendon says almost dismissively. “But you should tell me what’s wrong so I can help you fix it.” His eyes are earnest.
I sigh. Now, it’s almost as if I can’t hide anything from Brendon anymore. “I’ve never been to a party before.”
He bites his lip. “You’ve never been to a party before?”
“Well, actually, there was this one time. Spencer dragged me with him to a party in high school, and when he broke up with his girlfriend there, she got angry and called me a freak to my face. But I don’t think that counts.”
“Wow, what a bitch,” he mumbles.
“What’s worse is that I thought she was nice up until that. Then I realized that she wasn’t so nice,” I mutter, looking away.
Brendon drops my hand, and when I turn to look at him, I’m met with two armfuls of him, as he’s reached his arms around me to give me a tight hug that I lean into. “It won’t be like that this time. I promise that you’ll have fun.”
I sigh, unintentionally disturbing his hair with my long, breathy exhale breath for a few seconds. “Okay.”
“I love you, Ryan,” he mutters into the side of my face, still not letting go, and I feel my face start to get warm as the cold anxiety leaves me, at least temporarily
“I love you too,” I whisper, and with one last squeeze, Brendon draws back and takes a hold of my hand again.
“Good,” he says, nodding and offering me a smile. “Just remember all that, and nothing anyone says can touch you.” We resume the walk up to Jon’s door. “Besides, these are Jon’s friends, and Spencer has met them before. No way will the three of us stand to let anyone be rude to you.”
I reach the door first and open it for him, and he pulls me inside. Right away, there’s a loud exclamation from the room. “Well, look who decided to join us!” Jon yells from his seat on the couch, Spencer sitting right beside him and leaning just a little, only so much that I notice because I’d been looking for it.
The two of us make our way past the people congregating in the hallway with their drinks, just talking, and I remind myself again to stand up straight, that it’s okay to stop hiding.
“Ryan, Brendon, have a seat, relax, enjoy,” Jon says, gesturing to the miraculously cleared other couch after we greet him with hugs.
I laugh, but Brendon doesn’t follow me. “I’m just going to get us drinks,” he says, pointing towards the kitchen.
“Whoo!” comes a loud shout, and a handsome blond man strides into the living room.
“Tom,” Jon says, “come over here and meet Ryan.”
“Righto,” he says and bounds over to us. He shakes my hand firmly. “I’m Tom.”
The fact that he smiles genuinely and looks me in the eye gives me my confidence. “Ryan.” He lets go and sits next to Spencer on their couch. “So you’re the reason for this shindig?”
He laughs. “Well, he promised me that, if I ever came out here, he’d show me a good time.”
“And has he been keeping his promise?” Spencer pipes up.
“Ah, Spencer, you should know that Jon Walker keeps his promises,” Tom answers with a wink.
A moment later, Jon leans over to whisper something inaudible in Spencer’s ear that causes him to laugh and gaze stupidly at Jon. Tom rolls his eyes, and I laugh. “You can stop that now,” I tell Spencer.
He turns his attention back to me and says with a smirk. “Oh, please. You and Brendon are far worse.”
“Doubt it,” I respond, glancing around and finally seeing Brendon on his way with two cups.
“Well, once you got your shit together, I couldn’t walk into a room without fearing I’d awkwardly witness my two friends making out,” he says casually.
I squint my eyes at him in mock anger. The whole fiasco had only just stopped being a sore subject and become funny. “Dick,” I mutter as Spencer smiles sweetly at me.
“Yeah, Spencer, you asshole,” Brendon says as he sits down and hands me my drink. I take a sip, letting the cold, fizzy beer run down my throat.
Spencer rolls his eyes. “You don’t even know what we’re talking about,” he tells Brendon.
He just shrugs in response and takes a sip of his drink. Brendon turns his attention to Tom, and Jon introduces them.
“What took you so long?” I ask Brendon, gesturing to the drink in my hand, once he’s settled again next to me.
“Oh,” Brendon says, shrugging uncomfortably. “Some drunk asshole was trying to hit on me.”
My face hardens at his words, my grip on the plastic cup of beer a little tighter than would be wise. Brendon kisses my cheek softly and whispers, “It’s not a big deal. I deflected him. It’s all good.”
I have a hard time shaking the alarmed feeling, since I know that it will always be like this. Brendon is more than good-looking, and I still can’t get over the fact that he’s still with me, even after what I did. Even though he’s gotten past it, I’m still ashamed. I’m still doing my best to make it up to him by letting myself trust him. I have no reason to doubt him now, so I believe him when he says I have nothing to worry about.
A nudge from Brendon makes me turn my head to find him smiling slyly. I raise an eyebrow, and he says, “Dance with me?”
I laugh, and Spencer who’d overheard laughs too, far too loudly, if you ask me. “I don’t dance. And if I did, I wouldn’t dance to this.” Why is Jon playing this anyway?
Brendon is already getting up and tugging on my hands. “It’s the price you pay for taking me to a party. Sorry, Ry,” he says, not sounding sorry at all. I know he’s trying to make me forget the earlier discomfort, so I let him pull me up reluctantly.
We’re only a few feet away from the supposed dance floor so it’s only a matter of seconds until Brendon has found a spot, and he starts to move, his hands on me. I just feel awkward and self-conscious.
Brendon hums softly to me along with the music and leans forward, so I can hear him. “Just dance, gonna be okay, da dum doo doo,” he sings, causing me to laugh, and it’s enough to distract me so that he can push my back firmly to get me to stand up straighter. I guess this isn’t too bad, considering it’s a perfectly good excuse to touch and be close to him.
When the song ends, he wants to dance more, but as fun as it was, I’m not going to change all at once, so I’m glad that he doesn’t look too disappointed when I say I want to go sit back down. We’re almost to the couches, though, when I hear a commotion behind us, and I turn around.
A guy has stumbled forward, looking incredibly put out about something as he taps Brendon on the shoulder a bit hard. Brendon throws the guy an obviously annoyed look. “What the hell?” he says angrily.
The guy looks just as annoyed. “So what? You’ll dance with this guy, but not with me? God, look at him.”
Brendon’s eyes blaze with anger, as I purse my lips tightly, getting more furious by the second. “Hey, dick. Shut the fuck up about my boyfriend, you hear?” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Spencer and Tom stand up, and Brendon’s other hand, the one not holding onto mine tightly, clenches into a fist.
“Boyfriend?” He shakes his head. “You two are so pathetic, you fr-”
The knee connects harshly to his groin, and he falls to the floor, groaning in agony. “Don’t you say a goddamn word about us,” I say. Finally, I’ve had enough. They can do whatever they want to me, say whatever they want to me, but Brendon is a different story.
I hear a stunned laugh next to me, and when I turn around, I see matching shocked looks on Jon and Spencer. Tom rushes forward as I tug an amused Brendon back to the couches. Tom lifts the cowering guy from the floor, mentioning something about taking out the trash.
Jon, Spencer, and Brendon are all looking at me, and it’s starting to get annoying. “Guys, you’re staring.”
“Yeah, well, I am in awe,” Brendon says breathlessly. “No one’s ever done that for me before. It was kind of hot.” I can feel myself flush at his last sentence, my ears undoubtedly turning red.
“And I’m fucking proud,” Spencer says, smirking. “Do you know how many times I wanted you to do that to someone? I guess you don’t need me anymore.”
“I wouldn’t say that exactly,” I mutter, as Brendon leans into me, his arms around my waist as my arm lies across his shoulders.
I can’t help thinking that I’m going to be alright after all.
---------------
A/N:
First of all, I'm forgoing comment answering for 20B (at least until the morning) since I'm a doof and forgot that I have opening shift tomorrow. And the only other option was to delay this chapter, and I doubt that'd be a popular option.
So this is the end of it. There won't be any sequels or anymore secret chapters or anything. I've given each of my characters a huge hug and kiss, and they've left to mingle with all my other retired characters in absolute bliss, complete with lots of cuddling and hand-holding, thank you very much. Imagine a field full of rainbows and sunshine, if you will.
What can I say about this story? It was my interpretation of I'll Be Seeing You by Lurlene McDaniel. I borrowed quite a bit in the beginning plot-wise, mostly to help get the story rolling. But when it did start rolling, it rolled quite off. The characters became my own, and I'm happy that I got to share them with all of you.
About the epilogue, forgive me for the gratuitous cute. After all the angst I put them through, I had to write something fluffy and adorable for my own peace of mind. I owed it to my characters after all. I also wanted to give Ryan his moment, so I knew when I sat down to write an epilogue that I wanted him to stand up for himself. The song they dance to is Just Dance by Lady Gaga. It was going to be a Britney song, but this was in my head and happened to work with the story.
Now thank yous. To my test audience, you know who you are. Feedback is what helps me and keeps me writing, and I appreciate every single bit of it. To pinkkchocolate, for the beta-ing and flailing and shameless promoting of this story. This girl was getting people pumped about Freaks long before it was even posted (or even halfway written) and for that I ♥ her. To madasarabbit for being my BFFFFFFFFFF and giving me ~inside info on the goings on of a music store. I actually don't like her very much :P
And to everyone who took the time to read this, to comment it, to discuss it, to rec it. Thank you. I don't know how to show you how much I really appreciate it all.
Alright, so like I'd said before, I'm hoping that everyone who's been reading will comment on this final chapter. Even if you hadn't before and even if you're glancing over this months after the fact, I'd still like to know what you think.
Again, thank you :D
Author: spazzyskittles/Tiffany
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Jon/Spencer
POV: 1st (Ryan's)
Summary: An accident lands Ryan in the hospital, and he meets Jon, who tells him of a mysterious patient on their floor. There's something not quite right about him, but then again, there's something not quite right about Ryan as well.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Panic at the Disco. This is all just a by-product of an overactive imagination.
Author Notes: This is a completed story and will be updated every other day. Thanks to my beta pinkkchocolate, I couldn't have done it without you.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 16B | 20B
Epilogue - Four months later
"Ryan! Stop fussing. Your hair looks fine," Brendon says as he pulls my hand away from the back of my head.
"Do I really have to go?" I ask him, as those old feelings of anxiety start to well up inside me. As much as things have changed, old habits die hard.
"Well, no one is forcing you to go or anything. It's just that Jon would really like it if his good friend showed up at his party with a hot date on his arm."
I eye him skeptically. "And where can I get one of these hot dates?"
He punches me in the arm and kisses me on the cheek. I feel my face growing warm, and I slip an arm around his waist. “Oh, I guess I found one,” I mutter, and Brendon laughs.
“Look at you being all flirty,” he teases, poking me lightly in the chest. I tilt my head down to kiss him, still receiving that light-headed feeling when I do.
“Oh, jeez. I don’t need to see that,” comes Spencer voice from behind me, and I turn around, breaking the kiss, to see him standing in front of the hallway entrance. “We’re going to be late.”
“Excuse you, Spence. We have been waiting for you,” I say as my hand slips down to grasp Brendon’s as we follow Spencer out of the apartment, me swinging the car keys in my other hand.
“Well, it’s Jon’s party, and I have to look nice,” he mumbles, and Brendon and I just can’t help but snicker as we get into the car. “Oh, fuck you both.”
Brendon and Spencer talk some more - from what I can gather, Brendon is making fun of Spencer - while I drive. The anxiety creeping up my neck and making my shoulders tense helps to drown out their banter. It’s too soon.
I drive past Jon’s house and search for parking, and once we’re settled in a spot down the street, Spencer quickly gets out to walk to the house, leaving me and Brendon to trail behind him. Without hesitation, Brendon grabs my hand and matches my slow gait. I remind myself to stand up straight, but it doesn’t exactly help enough with my confidence.
All of a sudden, Brendon stops, just a few yards away from the concrete walkway leading to Jon’s door. The thumping music is fairly audible from we are. “Are you okay?” he asks, concerned.
“What makes you think I’m not okay?” I ask, answering his question with a question.
He frowns and looks down at our clasped hands. “Because you’re holding my hand a lot more tightly than you usually do.”
“Oh, sorry!” I say, my eyes widening and my grip loosening.
“It’s alright; you weren’t killing me or anything,” Brendon says almost dismissively. “But you should tell me what’s wrong so I can help you fix it.” His eyes are earnest.
I sigh. Now, it’s almost as if I can’t hide anything from Brendon anymore. “I’ve never been to a party before.”
He bites his lip. “You’ve never been to a party before?”
“Well, actually, there was this one time. Spencer dragged me with him to a party in high school, and when he broke up with his girlfriend there, she got angry and called me a freak to my face. But I don’t think that counts.”
“Wow, what a bitch,” he mumbles.
“What’s worse is that I thought she was nice up until that. Then I realized that she wasn’t so nice,” I mutter, looking away.
Brendon drops my hand, and when I turn to look at him, I’m met with two armfuls of him, as he’s reached his arms around me to give me a tight hug that I lean into. “It won’t be like that this time. I promise that you’ll have fun.”
I sigh, unintentionally disturbing his hair with my long, breathy exhale breath for a few seconds. “Okay.”
“I love you, Ryan,” he mutters into the side of my face, still not letting go, and I feel my face start to get warm as the cold anxiety leaves me, at least temporarily
“I love you too,” I whisper, and with one last squeeze, Brendon draws back and takes a hold of my hand again.
“Good,” he says, nodding and offering me a smile. “Just remember all that, and nothing anyone says can touch you.” We resume the walk up to Jon’s door. “Besides, these are Jon’s friends, and Spencer has met them before. No way will the three of us stand to let anyone be rude to you.”
I reach the door first and open it for him, and he pulls me inside. Right away, there’s a loud exclamation from the room. “Well, look who decided to join us!” Jon yells from his seat on the couch, Spencer sitting right beside him and leaning just a little, only so much that I notice because I’d been looking for it.
The two of us make our way past the people congregating in the hallway with their drinks, just talking, and I remind myself again to stand up straight, that it’s okay to stop hiding.
“Ryan, Brendon, have a seat, relax, enjoy,” Jon says, gesturing to the miraculously cleared other couch after we greet him with hugs.
I laugh, but Brendon doesn’t follow me. “I’m just going to get us drinks,” he says, pointing towards the kitchen.
“Whoo!” comes a loud shout, and a handsome blond man strides into the living room.
“Tom,” Jon says, “come over here and meet Ryan.”
“Righto,” he says and bounds over to us. He shakes my hand firmly. “I’m Tom.”
The fact that he smiles genuinely and looks me in the eye gives me my confidence. “Ryan.” He lets go and sits next to Spencer on their couch. “So you’re the reason for this shindig?”
He laughs. “Well, he promised me that, if I ever came out here, he’d show me a good time.”
“And has he been keeping his promise?” Spencer pipes up.
“Ah, Spencer, you should know that Jon Walker keeps his promises,” Tom answers with a wink.
A moment later, Jon leans over to whisper something inaudible in Spencer’s ear that causes him to laugh and gaze stupidly at Jon. Tom rolls his eyes, and I laugh. “You can stop that now,” I tell Spencer.
He turns his attention back to me and says with a smirk. “Oh, please. You and Brendon are far worse.”
“Doubt it,” I respond, glancing around and finally seeing Brendon on his way with two cups.
“Well, once you got your shit together, I couldn’t walk into a room without fearing I’d awkwardly witness my two friends making out,” he says casually.
I squint my eyes at him in mock anger. The whole fiasco had only just stopped being a sore subject and become funny. “Dick,” I mutter as Spencer smiles sweetly at me.
“Yeah, Spencer, you asshole,” Brendon says as he sits down and hands me my drink. I take a sip, letting the cold, fizzy beer run down my throat.
Spencer rolls his eyes. “You don’t even know what we’re talking about,” he tells Brendon.
He just shrugs in response and takes a sip of his drink. Brendon turns his attention to Tom, and Jon introduces them.
“What took you so long?” I ask Brendon, gesturing to the drink in my hand, once he’s settled again next to me.
“Oh,” Brendon says, shrugging uncomfortably. “Some drunk asshole was trying to hit on me.”
My face hardens at his words, my grip on the plastic cup of beer a little tighter than would be wise. Brendon kisses my cheek softly and whispers, “It’s not a big deal. I deflected him. It’s all good.”
I have a hard time shaking the alarmed feeling, since I know that it will always be like this. Brendon is more than good-looking, and I still can’t get over the fact that he’s still with me, even after what I did. Even though he’s gotten past it, I’m still ashamed. I’m still doing my best to make it up to him by letting myself trust him. I have no reason to doubt him now, so I believe him when he says I have nothing to worry about.
A nudge from Brendon makes me turn my head to find him smiling slyly. I raise an eyebrow, and he says, “Dance with me?”
I laugh, and Spencer who’d overheard laughs too, far too loudly, if you ask me. “I don’t dance. And if I did, I wouldn’t dance to this.” Why is Jon playing this anyway?
Brendon is already getting up and tugging on my hands. “It’s the price you pay for taking me to a party. Sorry, Ry,” he says, not sounding sorry at all. I know he’s trying to make me forget the earlier discomfort, so I let him pull me up reluctantly.
We’re only a few feet away from the supposed dance floor so it’s only a matter of seconds until Brendon has found a spot, and he starts to move, his hands on me. I just feel awkward and self-conscious.
Brendon hums softly to me along with the music and leans forward, so I can hear him. “Just dance, gonna be okay, da dum doo doo,” he sings, causing me to laugh, and it’s enough to distract me so that he can push my back firmly to get me to stand up straighter. I guess this isn’t too bad, considering it’s a perfectly good excuse to touch and be close to him.
When the song ends, he wants to dance more, but as fun as it was, I’m not going to change all at once, so I’m glad that he doesn’t look too disappointed when I say I want to go sit back down. We’re almost to the couches, though, when I hear a commotion behind us, and I turn around.
A guy has stumbled forward, looking incredibly put out about something as he taps Brendon on the shoulder a bit hard. Brendon throws the guy an obviously annoyed look. “What the hell?” he says angrily.
The guy looks just as annoyed. “So what? You’ll dance with this guy, but not with me? God, look at him.”
Brendon’s eyes blaze with anger, as I purse my lips tightly, getting more furious by the second. “Hey, dick. Shut the fuck up about my boyfriend, you hear?” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Spencer and Tom stand up, and Brendon’s other hand, the one not holding onto mine tightly, clenches into a fist.
“Boyfriend?” He shakes his head. “You two are so pathetic, you fr-”
The knee connects harshly to his groin, and he falls to the floor, groaning in agony. “Don’t you say a goddamn word about us,” I say. Finally, I’ve had enough. They can do whatever they want to me, say whatever they want to me, but Brendon is a different story.
I hear a stunned laugh next to me, and when I turn around, I see matching shocked looks on Jon and Spencer. Tom rushes forward as I tug an amused Brendon back to the couches. Tom lifts the cowering guy from the floor, mentioning something about taking out the trash.
Jon, Spencer, and Brendon are all looking at me, and it’s starting to get annoying. “Guys, you’re staring.”
“Yeah, well, I am in awe,” Brendon says breathlessly. “No one’s ever done that for me before. It was kind of hot.” I can feel myself flush at his last sentence, my ears undoubtedly turning red.
“And I’m fucking proud,” Spencer says, smirking. “Do you know how many times I wanted you to do that to someone? I guess you don’t need me anymore.”
“I wouldn’t say that exactly,” I mutter, as Brendon leans into me, his arms around my waist as my arm lies across his shoulders.
I can’t help thinking that I’m going to be alright after all.
---------------
A/N:
First of all, I'm forgoing comment answering for 20B (at least until the morning) since I'm a doof and forgot that I have opening shift tomorrow. And the only other option was to delay this chapter, and I doubt that'd be a popular option.
So this is the end of it. There won't be any sequels or anymore secret chapters or anything. I've given each of my characters a huge hug and kiss, and they've left to mingle with all my other retired characters in absolute bliss, complete with lots of cuddling and hand-holding, thank you very much. Imagine a field full of rainbows and sunshine, if you will.
What can I say about this story? It was my interpretation of I'll Be Seeing You by Lurlene McDaniel. I borrowed quite a bit in the beginning plot-wise, mostly to help get the story rolling. But when it did start rolling, it rolled quite off. The characters became my own, and I'm happy that I got to share them with all of you.
About the epilogue, forgive me for the gratuitous cute. After all the angst I put them through, I had to write something fluffy and adorable for my own peace of mind. I owed it to my characters after all. I also wanted to give Ryan his moment, so I knew when I sat down to write an epilogue that I wanted him to stand up for himself. The song they dance to is Just Dance by Lady Gaga. It was going to be a Britney song, but this was in my head and happened to work with the story.
Now thank yous. To my test audience, you know who you are. Feedback is what helps me and keeps me writing, and I appreciate every single bit of it. To pinkkchocolate, for the beta-ing and flailing and shameless promoting of this story. This girl was getting people pumped about Freaks long before it was even posted (or even halfway written) and for that I ♥ her. To madasarabbit for being my BFFFFFFFFFF and giving me ~inside info on the goings on of a music store. I actually don't like her very much :P
And to everyone who took the time to read this, to comment it, to discuss it, to rec it. Thank you. I don't know how to show you how much I really appreciate it all.
Alright, so like I'd said before, I'm hoping that everyone who's been reading will comment on this final chapter. Even if you hadn't before and even if you're glancing over this months after the fact, I'd still like to know what you think.
Again, thank you :D