Care and Feeding Revisited-Revisited
I wrote this 5 years ago. I still like it. :)
1]Be honest, with me, yourself, and other people.I have virtually no tolerance for liars and manipulators. I will usually inquire about things I see as dishonest, to find out if there was something I missed, but if explanations fall short with any frequency, we won't be around each other for long. Not only is it insulting to me to be lied to in the first place, but is further insulting that you won’t believe I’ll figure it out. Trust me to be able to handle what you throw, as long as it’s the truth. I will return the favor.
2] It takes two to tango. Or four to..uh, dance that starts with an F. By which I mean, relationships require attention and energy from all parties in order to thrive. There needs to be a balance. I enjoy doing things for people I care about, but it hurts to feel taken for granted.
3] Treat me with respect. Respect is vital in any healthy relationship (even an adversarial one). Don't dismiss my opinions and conclusions, because I don't arrive at them randomly, and if you give me a chance I'll do my best to explain how I arrived at them. And don't ever "shhhhh" me. I'm not a pet, no matter how much I enjoy being petted.
4] If I am acting unusual, feel free to ask about it. If I want to talk about it, I will. If it has to do with you, with very few exceptions, you should know about it already. Sometimes I don’t realize what I’m doing though, and would thank you for the note.
5] I am affectionate...to a point. I love the little touches and body language that people can share. However, just because I’m willing to hug/kiss/whatever a person over here, does not mean I’m going to do the same for you. Do not make assumptions. If I am willing to be affectionate towards you in a more than hugs manner, you’ll know (by the way, if you don't smoke, the snuggle factor tends to increase). Also, if you’re not comfortable with affection from me, than by all means say so. Communication = good.
6]Be prepared to forgive me, as I will you. Surprise, surprise, I will make mistakes. Some of them will be quite creative and unique. I try very hard to learn from them, and have a decent learning curve, but forgiveness--as with any relationship of any length--will at times be needed. While I do have some trust issues (don't we all?) I'm pretty decent at forgiving people, so you can at least expect it in return.
7] You don’t have to like all my friends, but please respect them. I care about my friends, but I know that they tend to be a variety of personality types. Most of the time, you can avoid those people you don’t like -- if you can’t all I ask is for you to treat them as you’d like to be treated. It’s an awkward position to have to police between you. Don’t make me do it.
8]Sometimes my schedule gets crazy.Between work, random flights of geekery, and a number of friends, sometimes people fall through the cracks. This is a failing of mine. If I seem to have fallen off the face of the planet, a good bonk on the nose should do the trick. I wish there were more hours in the day sometimes. I guarantee that if you've been in my heart, you're still there, or you'd know. And if I've ever told you I love you, be it platonic or whatever...I still do. Even if it's not reciprocal anymore.
9] I am mine. This doesn't mean that I can't choose to be part of your life, but if you start thinking of me as a possession, you are making a mistake.
10] Relax. I am pretty easy going. I would like to think the things I mentioned are pretty common sense. I don't sweat the little stuff, and I'm pretty uncritical. If we are communicating honestly, then things will work out in the best way for us.