30 Day Letter Challenge.
Day 1- Your best friend
Best friend. This is a hard title to work with, because I'm the kind of person who has a lot of ~best friends~ BUT. LET'S DO THIS.
SANTI. MY DEAR. We've been friends for, what, eight years now? Damn. We're doing good, don't you think? ... Well. We had a falling out or two, but besides that. DOIN' GOOD.
We're both dealing with a lot of the same problems, which makes me feel better. Whenever I need help or support, I feel like I can go to you and you'll understand what I'm dealing with.
We don't hang out much as often as I'd like, which is really lame. ... One day we need to just buy ourselves a big-ass house and stay together forever. Yess.
WE CAN WATCH DEGRASSI MARATHONS FOREVER, BRO.
FOREVER.
...
But uh.
I love you and I'll always be there for you. Thanks for being such an awesome friend. <33
Day 2 - Your crush.
... Oh boy.
As cheesy as it sounds, you're sort of everything I want in a partner, and then some. I hate the distance for the fact that I'll never be able to act on it, but oh well. ... A boy can dream, right?
...
Maybe not. But for now, I'll just deal with having you as a friend.
Day 3 - Your parents.
Dad,
You practically abandoned me when I was still a child. I grew up visiting you every once in a while, but I never had a proper relationship with you. It never bothered me before. But, now that I'm older, it's killing me.
You've blown off every opportunity to be with me, and then you go off and lie about it.
At Christmas, you were supposed to come visit me. You never did. And then you called my sister and told her that you came to the house and rang the doorbell dozens of times and that I deliberately ignored you.
... WHAT? Where do you get that from?
I don't know. I just wish I had a proper father is all. I guess, in the end, I'll be a better person because of it.
Mom,
Thank you for showing me who I don't want to be. I appreciate that.
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closet relative)
Emily,
It's scary to see how someone can screw up their life like you did in only a year, but I guess that's no one's fault but your own.
It kills me how my mom still praises you and constantly tells me what a good child you are, when you've done every possible thing wrong.
...
Maybe I'm just bitter.
Get your shit together and go live a proper life for once.
Day 5 - Your Dreams
...
I just want to live to see tomorrow.
Day 6 - A stranger
Smile. <3
Day 7 - Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
FOREVER ALONE.JPG
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend FRIENDS
I have way too many ~favorite online friends~ but I'm writing to two in particular, because they mean the world to me.
Jess,
To say our relationship got off to a rough start is a bit of an understatement. I was always kind of scared of you, honestly, because you were... well. sort of intimidating. :C
BUT, after we worked past all that stuff. Wow. You've grown to be one of my closest friends in such a short amount of time.
I genuinely enjoy talking to you. You're so funny and witty and your wordplay is constantly cracking me up. ... Your typos are pretty hilarious, too, but that's a totally different kind of funny.
You're one of the only people I can talk to for hours at end and not get tired of. You're a pleasant person, whether you believe that or not, and I love hanging around with you.
I wish things were better for you, though. I know you're going through a hard time and I would give anything for things to be better for you. You deserve to be happy, and you need to start believing that. Because it's so true.
You are a beautiful person and I love you like hell. <33
Doctor,
... Oh gosh. You.
There are no words to describe how grateful I am to have you in my life.
I was lucky to have stumbled upon your page one day, and I was so nervous to even talk to you (I can't tell you how many times I tried to write something to start a conversation with you and then go NO HE'S GONNA THINK I'M CREEPY /DELETE DELETE DELETE) but goddamn am I happy that I did.
You may be one of the cheeriest people I know, and I love that about you. Even if you have a few off days, you still manage to get right back on your feet, and that's so admirable. You've always got a positive outlook on life and people and general. Honestly, I wish I was a bit like you, because you're so beyond perfect.
I feel like you're one of the only people I can tell absolutely anything to and you won't judge me, and that means a lot to me. You've always taken time out to listen to me when I have a problem, and you've never put me down and. ffff. I JUST CAN'T EVEN FIND WORDS FOR HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME.
I love you and your adorable redneck-ness and everything. <3
The both of you,
I love our ridiculous late night group chats and our weird inside jokes that I'm sure no one would even find funny except for us. You mean the world to me and I don't know what I'd ever do without you.
JUST REMEMBER: I WILL AL. ............. WAYS. LOVE. YOU.
Also, if we ever fall apart I will make sure to track you both down and throw things at you until everything is back to normal. <3
Day 9 -Someone you wish you could meet
MARTHAMARTHAMARTHA.
PLEASE COME DOWN TO FLORIDA. ;_______;
...
OR COME LIVE WITH ME AND THE DOCTOR IN OREGON.
I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE BBY.
We can fight off the oncoming birdemic together. 8D
...
Also you're awesome, so.
... <3333
Day 10 - Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
HALE, MY BOOBY.
Maybe it's the fact that I haven't been online much lately.
Maybe you haven't been online much lately.
... Maybe it's the both of us.
Either way, I miss you and our odd as hell conversations. They're always so amusing and pointless and I love them.
ALSO YOU ARE MY BRONY.
AND FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC.
...
BITCH.
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Grandpa,
I'm sad that I never got to know you. You died a year before I was born, which obviously ruined all hopes of me meeting you.
From what I've heard, you were a fantastic man. A veteran, someone who served his country proudly and nobly.
Everyone says how nice you were; I've honestly never heard a single wrong thing about you.
I just wish that we could have been together somehow.
Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
I honestly don't think I hate anyone more than I hate myself.
I pray for that to change one day. Because self-loathing is an awful thing.
Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you
... I don't think there's anyone out there who has yet to forgive me for something, but if there is... ... I'm sorry?
Day 14 - someone you’ve drifted away from
Sasha,
We were best friends when we were young. We've been together for how long now... 9 years? 10? I don't even remember anymore.
When we were kids, things like religion and politics and opinions didn't matter. All we cared about is that we had fun together.
But now... everything's changed.
We're exact opposites. Me, being a mainly open gay and transmale. You, being the biggest religious homophobe I've ever met... We're not exactly a winning combo.
Every time I hear you say something about "disgusting faggots", I cringe. I hope you notice it, too, because I don't make an effort to hide my reaction.
I haven't been into religion for a while now; I've been drifting, purposely too, and you've never even cared. All you care about is you, and your goddamn group of friends (who are obviously more important than me). You constantly preach to me, and I always sit there with this bored expression, about ready to jump off the nearest cliff, and you've never once noticed. Good friendship we've got going here.
You're going off to college soon, and I don't know how to feel. I'll be sad to see you go, because we were so close for so long, but at the same time... Maybe this is what I need. Distance.
We'll see, I suppose.
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
...
I've been sitting here thinking about this for a while, and I really don't think there's anyone that I miss the most. :c
If you're out of my life, it's probably for a reason.
Day 16 - someone that’s not in your state/country
MANOG UGGA UGGA,
UHM GURL, Y U NO LIVE IN FLORIDA. ... OR AT LEAST AMERICA. You're too far away from me ffff. ;____;
I've seen you grow so much as a person since we first met. You're such a kind girl. <3
AND UGH DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOUR ART. It's mind-blowing to see how far your art has come since you started drawing. I'm so excited to see where your art is going to keep going, because at this rate, it's going to be absolutely flawless.
... Also you are my caveman and I love you. <3
Day 17 - someone from your childhood
Cody,
We haven't talked in almost four years.
I actually remember our last conversation, too, however pathetic that may be. We were talking about Halo. ... How typical of me, right?
We hung out pretty much every day, and even when we didn't we still talked on the phone or passed by each other on the street.
We were as close as close could be. We had EVERYTHING in common, and that's hardly an exaggeration. You were the best thing in my life, really.
...
And then you moved.
Everything was cool at first. We still called each other several times a week, emailed, IMed, all that good stuff. And then you sort of... fell off the face of the Earth.
We ended up only talking once or twice every few months. And then we stopped talking all together.
Shit sucks that you just disappeared like that, but whatever. That's life, I suppose.
I'll never forget you, kid.
Day 18 - the person that you wish you could be
Hey, listen.
Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't masculine enough
or that you're not a ~real man~
or whatever bullshit people are going to throw at you.
Things aren't exactly perfect right now. But one day, things will fall into place. You will be the person that you want to be, come hell or high water.
Day 19 - someone that pesters your mind-good or bad
Lisa,
I'm sorry I can't be more for you. You deserve that, and I feel like I'm just nothing compared to you. You've always been there for me, and I kind of... exist.
Yeah. Sorry. I love you and I wish I could do more to show you that.
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest
No one yet.
I'm enjoying this while I can.
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
... I can't think of anyone for this either so I'm writing to the same person again shhh.
DOCTOR,
AT FIRST I WAS LIKE
"OH SHIT. THIS GUY'S PRETTY AWESOME."
AND THEN I FOUND OUT
YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING AWESOME.
True story.
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
Dad,
I'm ready when you are.
Give me a reason to actually believe you for once, and we can do this.
Day 23 - the last person you kissed
MY RORY PUPPY. ... I doubt he'd want a letter, though, so let's move past this one.
Day 24 - the person that gave you your favorite memory
I can't say I have a favorite memory; not yet, at least. So I'm gonna cop out and and do a recent ~favorite~ memory.
Doctor, Jess, and Martha (lol I love that this is turning into SPAZ WRITES 30 LETTERS TO THE SAME 3 PEOPLE)
Can I just express my undying love for our trashy movie watchings.
I mean, come on. The Human Centipede? Birdemic? You do not get any better than those two movies.
I honestly don't think I've ever laughed as hard as I did when I watched those movies with you guys. I'm aware that it's a pathetic thing to love as much as I do, but those moments really meant a lot to me and I appreciate the hell out of you guys for it.
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Someone out there cares about you, whether you realize that or not. Life will get better with time. Sure, not right now, maybe not tomorrow or the day after, but one day. Just hold on. Stay strong.
Everyone deserves a chance to be happy. <3
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Lisa,
I'm still trying. I promise.
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Jamie,
I was so excited when I met you. It was a thrilling experience to see someone who was androgynous and didn't give a fuck about traditional gender roles in a church environment. In the religious community, it's hard to do anything here without someone complaining that SATAN IS GOING TO TAKE YOUR SOUL or some sort of nonsense and I had a lot of respect for you for that.
... But, I disgress.
You were such a fabulous person to be around. You had a wicked sense of humour, you really made me smile with everything you had to say.
As with... well, pretty much everyone I knew, you disappeared after that night. Which sucks. Because you were awesome.
We could have been awesome together, goddammit.
...
Oh well.
Day 28 - someone that changed your life
See: the entire FT staff.
Whether directly or indirectly, you've all bettered my life somehow. I love you all (even if our chat is dead 90% of the time and we hardly ever talk to each other anymore >C) and I couldn't ask for a better group of people to be around.
(PS, Rory is still the best staff member.)
Day 29 - The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything you needed to know before you left.
I know you were trying to help me, but I was ignorant and stubborn and I never let you know the important things.
~Too little, too late~ and all that stuff.
Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror
...
Get over yourself lol. You're a pathetic mess. MAN UP, DAMMIT.
Best friend. This is a hard title to work with, because I'm the kind of person who has a lot of ~best friends~ BUT. LET'S DO THIS.
SANTI. MY DEAR. We've been friends for, what, eight years now? Damn. We're doing good, don't you think? ... Well. We had a falling out or two, but besides that. DOIN' GOOD.
We're both dealing with a lot of the same problems, which makes me feel better. Whenever I need help or support, I feel like I can go to you and you'll understand what I'm dealing with.
We don't hang out much as often as I'd like, which is really lame. ... One day we need to just buy ourselves a big-ass house and stay together forever. Yess.
WE CAN WATCH DEGRASSI MARATHONS FOREVER, BRO.
FOREVER.
...
But uh.
I love you and I'll always be there for you. Thanks for being such an awesome friend. <33
Day 2 - Your crush.
... Oh boy.
As cheesy as it sounds, you're sort of everything I want in a partner, and then some. I hate the distance for the fact that I'll never be able to act on it, but oh well. ... A boy can dream, right?
...
Maybe not. But for now, I'll just deal with having you as a friend.
Day 3 - Your parents.
Dad,
You practically abandoned me when I was still a child. I grew up visiting you every once in a while, but I never had a proper relationship with you. It never bothered me before. But, now that I'm older, it's killing me.
You've blown off every opportunity to be with me, and then you go off and lie about it.
At Christmas, you were supposed to come visit me. You never did. And then you called my sister and told her that you came to the house and rang the doorbell dozens of times and that I deliberately ignored you.
... WHAT? Where do you get that from?
I don't know. I just wish I had a proper father is all. I guess, in the end, I'll be a better person because of it.
Mom,
Thank you for showing me who I don't want to be. I appreciate that.
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closet relative)
Emily,
It's scary to see how someone can screw up their life like you did in only a year, but I guess that's no one's fault but your own.
It kills me how my mom still praises you and constantly tells me what a good child you are, when you've done every possible thing wrong.
...
Maybe I'm just bitter.
Get your shit together and go live a proper life for once.
Day 5 - Your Dreams
...
I just want to live to see tomorrow.
Day 6 - A stranger
Smile. <3
Day 7 - Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
FOREVER ALONE.JPG
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend FRIENDS
I have way too many ~favorite online friends~ but I'm writing to two in particular, because they mean the world to me.
Jess,
To say our relationship got off to a rough start is a bit of an understatement. I was always kind of scared of you, honestly, because you were... well. sort of intimidating. :C
BUT, after we worked past all that stuff. Wow. You've grown to be one of my closest friends in such a short amount of time.
I genuinely enjoy talking to you. You're so funny and witty and your wordplay is constantly cracking me up. ... Your typos are pretty hilarious, too, but that's a totally different kind of funny.
You're one of the only people I can talk to for hours at end and not get tired of. You're a pleasant person, whether you believe that or not, and I love hanging around with you.
I wish things were better for you, though. I know you're going through a hard time and I would give anything for things to be better for you. You deserve to be happy, and you need to start believing that. Because it's so true.
You are a beautiful person and I love you like hell. <33
Doctor,
... Oh gosh. You.
There are no words to describe how grateful I am to have you in my life.
I was lucky to have stumbled upon your page one day, and I was so nervous to even talk to you (I can't tell you how many times I tried to write something to start a conversation with you and then go NO HE'S GONNA THINK I'M CREEPY /DELETE DELETE DELETE) but goddamn am I happy that I did.
You may be one of the cheeriest people I know, and I love that about you. Even if you have a few off days, you still manage to get right back on your feet, and that's so admirable. You've always got a positive outlook on life and people and general. Honestly, I wish I was a bit like you, because you're so beyond perfect.
I feel like you're one of the only people I can tell absolutely anything to and you won't judge me, and that means a lot to me. You've always taken time out to listen to me when I have a problem, and you've never put me down and. ffff. I JUST CAN'T EVEN FIND WORDS FOR HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME.
I love you and your adorable redneck-ness and everything. <3
The both of you,
I love our ridiculous late night group chats and our weird inside jokes that I'm sure no one would even find funny except for us. You mean the world to me and I don't know what I'd ever do without you.
JUST REMEMBER: I WILL AL. ............. WAYS. LOVE. YOU.
Also, if we ever fall apart I will make sure to track you both down and throw things at you until everything is back to normal. <3
Day 9 -Someone you wish you could meet
MARTHAMARTHAMARTHA.
PLEASE COME DOWN TO FLORIDA. ;_______;
...
OR COME LIVE WITH ME AND THE DOCTOR IN OREGON.
I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE BBY.
We can fight off the oncoming birdemic together. 8D
...
Also you're awesome, so.
... <3333
Day 10 - Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
HALE, MY BOOBY.
Maybe it's the fact that I haven't been online much lately.
Maybe you haven't been online much lately.
... Maybe it's the both of us.
Either way, I miss you and our odd as hell conversations. They're always so amusing and pointless and I love them.
ALSO YOU ARE MY BRONY.
AND FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC.
...
BITCH.
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Grandpa,
I'm sad that I never got to know you. You died a year before I was born, which obviously ruined all hopes of me meeting you.
From what I've heard, you were a fantastic man. A veteran, someone who served his country proudly and nobly.
Everyone says how nice you were; I've honestly never heard a single wrong thing about you.
I just wish that we could have been together somehow.
Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
I honestly don't think I hate anyone more than I hate myself.
I pray for that to change one day. Because self-loathing is an awful thing.
Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you
... I don't think there's anyone out there who has yet to forgive me for something, but if there is... ... I'm sorry?
Day 14 - someone you’ve drifted away from
Sasha,
We were best friends when we were young. We've been together for how long now... 9 years? 10? I don't even remember anymore.
When we were kids, things like religion and politics and opinions didn't matter. All we cared about is that we had fun together.
But now... everything's changed.
We're exact opposites. Me, being a mainly open gay and transmale. You, being the biggest religious homophobe I've ever met... We're not exactly a winning combo.
Every time I hear you say something about "disgusting faggots", I cringe. I hope you notice it, too, because I don't make an effort to hide my reaction.
I haven't been into religion for a while now; I've been drifting, purposely too, and you've never even cared. All you care about is you, and your goddamn group of friends (who are obviously more important than me). You constantly preach to me, and I always sit there with this bored expression, about ready to jump off the nearest cliff, and you've never once noticed. Good friendship we've got going here.
You're going off to college soon, and I don't know how to feel. I'll be sad to see you go, because we were so close for so long, but at the same time... Maybe this is what I need. Distance.
We'll see, I suppose.
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
...
I've been sitting here thinking about this for a while, and I really don't think there's anyone that I miss the most. :c
If you're out of my life, it's probably for a reason.
Day 16 - someone that’s not in your state/country
MANOG UGGA UGGA,
UHM GURL, Y U NO LIVE IN FLORIDA. ... OR AT LEAST AMERICA. You're too far away from me ffff. ;____;
I've seen you grow so much as a person since we first met. You're such a kind girl. <3
AND UGH DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOUR ART. It's mind-blowing to see how far your art has come since you started drawing. I'm so excited to see where your art is going to keep going, because at this rate, it's going to be absolutely flawless.
... Also you are my caveman and I love you. <3
Day 17 - someone from your childhood
Cody,
We haven't talked in almost four years.
I actually remember our last conversation, too, however pathetic that may be. We were talking about Halo. ... How typical of me, right?
We hung out pretty much every day, and even when we didn't we still talked on the phone or passed by each other on the street.
We were as close as close could be. We had EVERYTHING in common, and that's hardly an exaggeration. You were the best thing in my life, really.
...
And then you moved.
Everything was cool at first. We still called each other several times a week, emailed, IMed, all that good stuff. And then you sort of... fell off the face of the Earth.
We ended up only talking once or twice every few months. And then we stopped talking all together.
Shit sucks that you just disappeared like that, but whatever. That's life, I suppose.
I'll never forget you, kid.
Day 18 - the person that you wish you could be
Hey, listen.
Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't masculine enough
or that you're not a ~real man~
or whatever bullshit people are going to throw at you.
Things aren't exactly perfect right now. But one day, things will fall into place. You will be the person that you want to be, come hell or high water.
Day 19 - someone that pesters your mind-good or bad
Lisa,
I'm sorry I can't be more for you. You deserve that, and I feel like I'm just nothing compared to you. You've always been there for me, and I kind of... exist.
Yeah. Sorry. I love you and I wish I could do more to show you that.
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest
No one yet.
I'm enjoying this while I can.
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
... I can't think of anyone for this either so I'm writing to the same person again shhh.
DOCTOR,
AT FIRST I WAS LIKE
"OH SHIT. THIS GUY'S PRETTY AWESOME."
AND THEN I FOUND OUT
YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING AWESOME.
True story.
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
Dad,
I'm ready when you are.
Give me a reason to actually believe you for once, and we can do this.
Day 23 - the last person you kissed
MY RORY PUPPY. ... I doubt he'd want a letter, though, so let's move past this one.
Day 24 - the person that gave you your favorite memory
I can't say I have a favorite memory; not yet, at least. So I'm gonna cop out and and do a recent ~favorite~ memory.
Doctor, Jess, and Martha (lol I love that this is turning into SPAZ WRITES 30 LETTERS TO THE SAME 3 PEOPLE)
Can I just express my undying love for our trashy movie watchings.
I mean, come on. The Human Centipede? Birdemic? You do not get any better than those two movies.
I honestly don't think I've ever laughed as hard as I did when I watched those movies with you guys. I'm aware that it's a pathetic thing to love as much as I do, but those moments really meant a lot to me and I appreciate the hell out of you guys for it.
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Someone out there cares about you, whether you realize that or not. Life will get better with time. Sure, not right now, maybe not tomorrow or the day after, but one day. Just hold on. Stay strong.
Everyone deserves a chance to be happy. <3
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Lisa,
I'm still trying. I promise.
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Jamie,
I was so excited when I met you. It was a thrilling experience to see someone who was androgynous and didn't give a fuck about traditional gender roles in a church environment. In the religious community, it's hard to do anything here without someone complaining that SATAN IS GOING TO TAKE YOUR SOUL or some sort of nonsense and I had a lot of respect for you for that.
... But, I disgress.
You were such a fabulous person to be around. You had a wicked sense of humour, you really made me smile with everything you had to say.
As with... well, pretty much everyone I knew, you disappeared after that night. Which sucks. Because you were awesome.
We could have been awesome together, goddammit.
...
Oh well.
Day 28 - someone that changed your life
See: the entire FT staff.
Whether directly or indirectly, you've all bettered my life somehow. I love you all (even if our chat is dead 90% of the time and we hardly ever talk to each other anymore >C) and I couldn't ask for a better group of people to be around.
(PS, Rory is still the best staff member.)
Day 29 - The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything you needed to know before you left.
I know you were trying to help me, but I was ignorant and stubborn and I never let you know the important things.
~Too little, too late~ and all that stuff.
Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror
...
Get over yourself lol. You're a pathetic mess. MAN UP, DAMMIT.