(no subject)
Warnings: Language, suggestive themes, more language, ect etc....
*Ignore the cover pic. I screwed up*
Archive:
1.0 1.1
RECAP: So, our founder, Roxanne, had her first child, Skyer (who had brown hair...where'd that come from?) and got to move into a nice house since her husband brought in a shitload of money. SHe and Ray got married, Skyer aged up to a child, and Roxanne had another brown haired child, Freya who is now a toddler. We also learned Ray is an idiot. You'll see a lot more of that in this update. -_-
spazzler : Why are you so pissed?
Roxanne: THAT LITTLE BITCH STOLE MY CHORES!
If my mom was in her position, she'd be estatic.
Roxanne: Mmmm, tastes like the black hair none of my kids are inheriting!
Eyes on the prize, eh Ray?
Now on to something a little more innocent...BIRTHDAY!
Here's what she asploded into.
I dunno. There's something about her face I don't like. She didn't get the best luck outta the gene pool.
She kinda looks like a bird. Is that mean?
Post makeover.
She looks...better?
:/
Fug townie: OH NOES! There's an invisible fire on that tree DDD:
2 Sim Hours later:
Ohei, not so invisible.
Ray....go put that out, will ya>
(Roxanne's at work at this point)
He looks so competant. Maybe I had you figured wrong, Ray.
Ray: *is on fire*
Nevermind.
Thank God Skyer was there to call the fire department.
Freya, however, went missing for a while. Hmm...
Could she have something to do with this??
I didn't feel like letting him die. Maxmotives saved his ass here.
Maybe I shouldn't have saved him. I'd have more diversity...
Ray: Shit, I hear her car! *rushes to hide his stupidity*
And Roxanne casually arrives home, not knowing she almost had to go husband-hunting again.
Random townie in the bathtub?
When the doors were locked?
Totally not creepy.
Freya: This one's a boy!
And you thought that joke only worked with horses ;D
Skyer: MOOOM! FREYA'S HOGGING THE OVEN!!
ACRRoxanne: You hear something?
He finally gets the oven...only to have a burned muffin.
But his fail face is the cutest effing thing evar!
And if you disagree, I will hit you with a bat.
Looks delish.
Compare this to his son's breakfast.
Father of the year, amirite?
Every morning she races to make every bed in the house.
Can sims have OCD?
Freya: Dang, that nickel was farther down than I thought!
Skyer: You know what looks really lovely? A coral pink sundress.
Skyer: Of course, you have to pair it with a light pink lipstick and well-blended blush.
Skyer: And some pearls will really make it pop!
Oh dear.
More bebbes on the way!
Freya: DAD DAD! I GOT AN A!!
Ray: *30 sim minutes later* W000t! GO FREYA!
Calista: Hmm, can I get him bottles even if he's a child?
Kay, sure, just leave the sandwitches out in the rain. Whatever.
That's what you get for not keeping up with your schoolwork!
Look at what a nerd good student your sister is!
Skyer: OMGOMG, MY LIFE FUCKING SUCKS
Skyer: THERE IS NO FUN IN LIFE!
Freya: *blogs about her brother's misery*
Maybe the piano will cure your fun need.
Skyer: OH FUCK THE PIANO! IT DOESN'T HELP SHIT!
Kay, nevermind.
Skyer: Oh jeez, why does my life suck so bad!?!
He repeated the last 3 steps about 20x
I feel this is Ray's fault somehow.
Roxanne: Oh, what a lovely flamingo! :D
spazzler : Great...cept they're oranges....
Roxanne: Grrrrrr
Roxanne: O HA HA HA THE WINDOW IS SOOO FUNNY!
You're losing it, babe.
PUMPKIN POP!
Ray: Uhhm, HALLO!! There is no seating here!
*points to chair directly behind him* Dumbass, turn around!
Ray: Oh yes, this painting is quite lovely.
Ray: OH HAHAHAHA! I totally get what the artist was going for! OH THE HUMOR LOLOLOL!!
Roxanne: You're sleeping on the couch tonight.
Ray: Oh, I'm so tired. Put me to bed!
Me: EAxis gave you autonotomy. You're on your own.
Roxanne: *KER-PLUNK*
Skyer: So, can we talk about how hot mom is now?
LOL She's such a bitch.
Can't wait to see her as a teen...
That's right, babe. Aim low.
PUMPKIN POP 2
Dang, she's huge!
What's she carrying, an elephant!?!
Kissing up to your dumbass father will not win you any heir points, Freya.
But doing that will!
I love the Rubik's thingy. That's the ticket to heirdom, right there.
I know what you're thinking, and I don't like it.
What, you don't let your kids play with toxic chemicals?
Redhands: It raises fun mad fast.
Anyone understand why?
You're doing it wrong!
STOP!
BABY TIME!
LOL How many times has that joke been made?
Ray: Just keep looking forward. Don't even glance to the side. Pretend she's not there. Eyes forward. Don't look away.
It's a girl =D
Meet Olivine Clarke. Another mysteriously brown-haired-green-eyed kid.
Kill me. x.x
But wait, there's more!
Also, meet Obsidian Clarke.
(Olivine and Obsidian are both minerals...cute mabbe? I'm taking Earth Science. Shoot me.)
AND HE HAS BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYES.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE DIVERSITY!
Obsidian: *pukes on mommy*
Roxanne: Aw ewww. I gave birth to that!?!
Heartfelt, Rox.
Roxanne: I'M TIRED! TAKE ME TO BED! *bitchbitchbitch*
SHe can do it herself. She's the competent one.
Her husband, however, I've completely given up on.
Ray: Kids, you smell like ass. You have to be cleaner from now on! It's important to be hygenic, you know! *lecturelecture*
Twins: DAD JUST FUCKING CHANGE US! OR CALL MOM!
See, this picture might mislead you to thinking he's a great father.
But just look at hte last one.
Kinda went away, right?
Freya, I mean OLIVINE, asplodes into toddlerhood!
I keep thinking in my head that she'Freya. If I do that and don't fix it...I mean Olivine.
She just reminds me so much of her sis. Poor dear has an identity crisis already.
Cling for dear life, Olivine!
Well that's kind of embarrassing...
Freya OLIVINE (I did it again Dx) proves to be flippin' adorable.
And so does Obsidian.
This pic makes my heart melt. <3 Suuucchhhh a cutie!
But no favoritism, of course ^_^
Roxanne: OM NOM NOM!
Sandwich: DDDDD:
Ray: Come on, said 'teddy bear'! You can do it!
Obsidian: NO. YOU FUCKING SAY TEDDY BEAR.
'Cause there has to be mother-daughter loving spam in every update.
Ray: Calista. Okay. GTFO.
Calista: BUT I'M NOT DONE YET! D<
Woah. You can not burn muffinz? Fo rlz?
And now the country's economic crisis is solved in five seconds by an eight year old:
Skyer: Well, we don't have any money. Why don't we get some?
If only life were that simple.
TBC. Comments are <3 Cookies are <3<3