4 weeks left

[spazmire]

there's 4 weeks till i am 18 tommorow. it seems so close now i have to wonder if i'm prepared. i took a break to fix my situations at home and work and now i feel like i'm behind. the worst parrt is you think i would feel like jumping right back onto the job again, but i don't i feel drained as all hell from being a sweet good little boy for my parents. i underestimated how much it would tkae out of me and how fast. should it really be this hard? i have a hard time supporting my weight all day and by the time i get to after school i feel like i will just fall over and become pinned to the ground if i don't get rid of my trench coat and wahtever ss i am wearing, even after that i still feel exceedingly warm and weak. weak like last year at this timea actually. last year this time of year i was swimming taper and that basicly means swimm your ass off but for a shorter time. i took it to the T, i would push my body so hard that eventually it became easier because i couldn't feel any of my muscles anymore because they were so weak, pretty much only willpower pushed me along. this was also the first time i legitamately beat justin o'brien in any race style swim.

i wish i had the willpower i did then. fortunantly physics isn't so hard i don't think i'll be able to finish, in fact it's the opposite this time, i waited to the last minute and i'm sure i'm going to finish tommorow morning lol.

until then i am going to sleep, megadeth will probably be the candidate for sleeping music tonight.

fun fact: megadeth makes kaz's fall asleep.(if you don't know who megadeth is then shame on you and think of it this way, they are another more better metallica, and tehy created speed metal and thrash metal.)