sometimes I wonder

Nov 10, 2008 01:15

It's becoming more and more clear how little control I have over the world I live in.
It's scary how close we all are to destitution.
I've prided myself on a certain amount of optimism about my own personal future.
That no matter what may happen in the world, or in my own life, everything will somehow be okay.
I wonder.
The world is a pretty shitty place.
Full of pain.
We, as a species, commit outrageous crimes against each other and against this planet.
Why?
Do we hate ourselves so much?
How close do we stand to the edge of oblivion?
We garner a certain amount of stability with a world-wide distribution network of food and products,
but this is largely based on a petroleum economy. An economy that encourages our nations to scour the earth of every last bit of marketable resource, descendants be damned, in order to support our way of life.
What would it be to live a wholly sustainable lifestyle? Would it be a life worth living?
Have we become so enraptured with the wealth we possess?
What would it take to bow out? To stand up, say "NO MORE" loudly and clearly, and walk away?
Does it come down to that?
Is that even necessary?
Can I be part of a world that exists solely for the sake of existing? That doesn't take more than it needs to survive?
I read a book over the summer, Ishmael, that suggested that we as a culture have it all wrong. We have consciously set ourselves apart from nature, believing ourselves to be above it to such a degree that we treat the world as our own personal strip-mine. But we are not separate from the forces of nature. We reproduce, die, evolve, just like every other living thing that has ever existed. We are different from the animals around us only in certain degrees. Intelligence, curiosity, culture...these things exist in many animals. Every supposedly "human" trait can be said to exist, to some smaller degree, perhaps, in many many other species. So what makes us different?
Is it arrogance to believe that we have some semblance of control?
Some people need to believe in a "purpose," in order to be happy.
I think we all, for whatever reason, need to believe that we are in control of our destinies, of our bodies, of our homes and our backyards.
In history class, we've talked of a separation between men of old and new. The so-called "Old Regime" enslaved men to the whims of nature. To sleep when it was dark, to plant when it was spring, to eat what we could grow and no more. The "New Regime" belongs to the modern era. Of world-wide trade of food and goods. The ability to eat kiwi in november, when the growing season ended months ago. This is what it means to be a modern american. Kiwi. In November. We truly are blessed.

apathy, control, happiness, destruction, ego, death, chaos, hope, destitution

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