Christmas Party Drama...
I wasn't sure I was gonna make an entry.. cuz I just dont know if I feel like talking about it.. But I think it'll help to get everything out.
Edmonton was good. Jeremy and I had a great time. The Oilers lost the game unfortunately. They were winning right up until the last 15 seconds when the Ducks scored and tied it up. Then they lost it overtime :P The ramp guys punked us on the way there AND back. On the way there Zyballa (Jeremy's friend) told the captain that we were going on our honeymoon so he made an announcement on board saying congrats. Everyone on board was clapping and getting all excited. Like honestly, who goes on their honeymoon in Edmonton?! We played along and thanked everyone, and kept it up the rest of the trip. Jeremy would be like "Would you like me to carry your bags darling? Oh let me get that sweetheart" lol. It was cute. Then on the way back we pull into the gate and there is a ton of ramp guys out there. We're like wtf are they doing just hanging out.. Then they start holding up signs. Everyone on our side of the plane was like "Oh they're holding up signs! What do they say?" so we look out and sure enough they say "Congrats Amanda and Jeremy! XoXo! May your love last forever" omg it was sooo embarassing! Then Justin was waiting on the bridge when I got off the plane going "Hey congrats!" So I punched him, lol.
Last night was the work Christmas party. Not to sound vain, but I thought I looked really good :) When I got out of the car at Jeremy's he was like "Damn you look hot!" All night people were complimenting me and telling me I looked fantastic. I felt so good about myself. :) I was gettign hot on left, right & centre which was just crazy. I didn't know what to do with myself, lol. I was constantly getting pulled on to guys laps, getting hugs and kisses, etc.
Everything was going well, I was drinking for free all night cuz Gurpreet was in charge of the drink tickets so she hooked me up :) Everyone was coming up to me and saying "Damn your date is sooo hot!" Which is true, Jeremy looked amazing.
At one point I was talking with my friend Frank, who I have some history with. Awhile ago we were hooking up a bit. We'd go off in his truck at work and snuggle and make out, but we had a bit of a falling out and stopped talking. We were both pretty drunk and he made a crack to Mike & I that I looked so hot that he wanted to take me somewhere and ravage me. So I was like "let's go then!" So he grabbed my hand and dragged me down the street, sat down on the steps of the back of a condo building and pulled me on top of him. We were making out like crazy for about 10 minutes when I stood up and said we have to go back to the party before people notice we're missing. He was like "Who cares? Let's just leave now and go back to my place" As tempted as I was I dragged him back into the party and we went back to drinking and just hanging out.
Eventually Jerome pulled me to the side and asked if he could talk to me. He told me that he and Jeremy were talking and Jeremy confessed that he likes me so much, and he cares a huge ammount about me.. but he feels like he's letting me down because he thinks that I want a comittment and he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. And (here's the kicker) that he doesn't "like me that way." I was pissed. Jerome's advice was to give Jer some space, let him go out with other girls, blahblahblah. When I walked away I was tearing up a bit and Jeremy could see that I was upset. He followed me and we got into a bit of a fight. I told him that if he has shit to say, he needs to say it to ME not someone else to tell me. He said that was never his intention, that he and Jerome were just talking. He didn't ask Jerome to talk to me. At first he was mad cuz he felt like I was trying to keep him to myself and away from other girls.. then like 2 seconds later he said he felt super guilty cuz he was there as my date and he danced with other girls. I told him that's totally okay because I danced with other guys and it was all in good fun. Besides, he's not my boyfriend and he can do what he want. I said that what really upset me what that he said he doesn't like me like that.. you can't say that about someone you just went away with for a night, someone you hang out with all the time, someone you're sleeping with etc. That's something you say to someone who is just a friend but nothing more. He claims he never said that. I started to cry and Jeremy felt really bad and held me for a few minutes until I stopped. There was a lot more discussed but there's no point in going into details. I was also upset because Jeremy knows that I dont want a boyfriend right now. We've discussed that many times. It was 3am by this point and my night was ruined so I just wanted to go home. I drove Kacie home (who was totally sauced) then Jeremy. I cried all the way to Jeremy's cuz I was just so emotional and upset. When I stopped to get gas Jeremy puked his guts out. Luckily I remembered how to get to his house cuz he was passed out the whole drive.
When we got to his house he begged me to spend the night. I refused. I told him I just wanted to be alone, and of all people I didn't really wanna be with him. He was like "Please Amanda.. I'm a total shit show. Just stay with me and take care of me" So I agreed to get him in the house and into his room then I'd go home. I changed into my sweats and a hoodie and went upstairs. The plan was that we'd watch some tv until Jeremy felt good enough to sleep without getting sick. So he got into bed and was like "Will you please lay under the covers with me?" and I said no, that I was gonna go. I didn't want to stay cuz he had told me before his parents didn't approve of him bringing girls home. And he said that they didnt want him bringing random girls home from the bar, but they wouldnt care if stayed. Cuz they knew all about me, and that his Mom would praise me and be so thankful that I stayed and took care of him. I told him I'd stay until he fell asleep, then I'd leave. So I got under the covers with him and stroked his hair until he fell asleep. By this point it was about 5am. I finally realized that I'd have to suck it up and stay there because if I left then, by the time I got home it would be 6:30am. All night Jeremy was spooning with me. He had his arms around me all night. If I rolled over he'd roll over too so he could keep holding on to me. I just dont get that boy sometimes.
This morning we got up at 11:30 (after a very restless night with little sleep). We had a good talk and I think everything is okay between us. We agreed to just go back to how things were before. That we'd still go out on dates and be friends. But we agreed that if Jeremy ever has anything to say, feels smothered, etc, that he'll say it to ME and nobody else. He thanked me for being such a good friend and taking care of him and I left.
I honestly don't know if things will ever really be the same.. we'll see I guess. I hope they do go back to normal though. I will really be sad if I lose Jeremy's friendship. I did some good thinking last night though. I'm going to try to be less boy crazy and stop worrying so much about them. I'm not going to sleep with Justin again.. not right away anyway. I want to get to know him more, go on dates, etc. I don't want to be this girl who sleeps with a guy right away. I want to make them work for it. And if they don't then they're not worth it to me. And Jenn said it really well before.. I'm just not the kind of girl who can have casual sex. I get too emotionally involved.
This whole ordeal made me realize how much I miss having a boyfriend sometimes. You don't have all this stupid boy drama all the time. Don't get me wrong.. I love being single.. but not at times like this :P
I'll leave 2 pics from last night. When my friends email out the rest of the pics I might post a few more if there's any good ones :)
Group Shot... Michelle, Jeremy, Me, Gurpreet & Kacie
Michelle & I:
Edmonton was good. Jeremy and I had a great time. The Oilers lost the game unfortunately. They were winning right up until the last 15 seconds when the Ducks scored and tied it up. Then they lost it overtime :P The ramp guys punked us on the way there AND back. On the way there Zyballa (Jeremy's friend) told the captain that we were going on our honeymoon so he made an announcement on board saying congrats. Everyone on board was clapping and getting all excited. Like honestly, who goes on their honeymoon in Edmonton?! We played along and thanked everyone, and kept it up the rest of the trip. Jeremy would be like "Would you like me to carry your bags darling? Oh let me get that sweetheart" lol. It was cute. Then on the way back we pull into the gate and there is a ton of ramp guys out there. We're like wtf are they doing just hanging out.. Then they start holding up signs. Everyone on our side of the plane was like "Oh they're holding up signs! What do they say?" so we look out and sure enough they say "Congrats Amanda and Jeremy! XoXo! May your love last forever" omg it was sooo embarassing! Then Justin was waiting on the bridge when I got off the plane going "Hey congrats!" So I punched him, lol.
Last night was the work Christmas party. Not to sound vain, but I thought I looked really good :) When I got out of the car at Jeremy's he was like "Damn you look hot!" All night people were complimenting me and telling me I looked fantastic. I felt so good about myself. :) I was gettign hot on left, right & centre which was just crazy. I didn't know what to do with myself, lol. I was constantly getting pulled on to guys laps, getting hugs and kisses, etc.
Everything was going well, I was drinking for free all night cuz Gurpreet was in charge of the drink tickets so she hooked me up :) Everyone was coming up to me and saying "Damn your date is sooo hot!" Which is true, Jeremy looked amazing.
At one point I was talking with my friend Frank, who I have some history with. Awhile ago we were hooking up a bit. We'd go off in his truck at work and snuggle and make out, but we had a bit of a falling out and stopped talking. We were both pretty drunk and he made a crack to Mike & I that I looked so hot that he wanted to take me somewhere and ravage me. So I was like "let's go then!" So he grabbed my hand and dragged me down the street, sat down on the steps of the back of a condo building and pulled me on top of him. We were making out like crazy for about 10 minutes when I stood up and said we have to go back to the party before people notice we're missing. He was like "Who cares? Let's just leave now and go back to my place" As tempted as I was I dragged him back into the party and we went back to drinking and just hanging out.
Eventually Jerome pulled me to the side and asked if he could talk to me. He told me that he and Jeremy were talking and Jeremy confessed that he likes me so much, and he cares a huge ammount about me.. but he feels like he's letting me down because he thinks that I want a comittment and he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. And (here's the kicker) that he doesn't "like me that way." I was pissed. Jerome's advice was to give Jer some space, let him go out with other girls, blahblahblah. When I walked away I was tearing up a bit and Jeremy could see that I was upset. He followed me and we got into a bit of a fight. I told him that if he has shit to say, he needs to say it to ME not someone else to tell me. He said that was never his intention, that he and Jerome were just talking. He didn't ask Jerome to talk to me. At first he was mad cuz he felt like I was trying to keep him to myself and away from other girls.. then like 2 seconds later he said he felt super guilty cuz he was there as my date and he danced with other girls. I told him that's totally okay because I danced with other guys and it was all in good fun. Besides, he's not my boyfriend and he can do what he want. I said that what really upset me what that he said he doesn't like me like that.. you can't say that about someone you just went away with for a night, someone you hang out with all the time, someone you're sleeping with etc. That's something you say to someone who is just a friend but nothing more. He claims he never said that. I started to cry and Jeremy felt really bad and held me for a few minutes until I stopped. There was a lot more discussed but there's no point in going into details. I was also upset because Jeremy knows that I dont want a boyfriend right now. We've discussed that many times. It was 3am by this point and my night was ruined so I just wanted to go home. I drove Kacie home (who was totally sauced) then Jeremy. I cried all the way to Jeremy's cuz I was just so emotional and upset. When I stopped to get gas Jeremy puked his guts out. Luckily I remembered how to get to his house cuz he was passed out the whole drive.
When we got to his house he begged me to spend the night. I refused. I told him I just wanted to be alone, and of all people I didn't really wanna be with him. He was like "Please Amanda.. I'm a total shit show. Just stay with me and take care of me" So I agreed to get him in the house and into his room then I'd go home. I changed into my sweats and a hoodie and went upstairs. The plan was that we'd watch some tv until Jeremy felt good enough to sleep without getting sick. So he got into bed and was like "Will you please lay under the covers with me?" and I said no, that I was gonna go. I didn't want to stay cuz he had told me before his parents didn't approve of him bringing girls home. And he said that they didnt want him bringing random girls home from the bar, but they wouldnt care if stayed. Cuz they knew all about me, and that his Mom would praise me and be so thankful that I stayed and took care of him. I told him I'd stay until he fell asleep, then I'd leave. So I got under the covers with him and stroked his hair until he fell asleep. By this point it was about 5am. I finally realized that I'd have to suck it up and stay there because if I left then, by the time I got home it would be 6:30am. All night Jeremy was spooning with me. He had his arms around me all night. If I rolled over he'd roll over too so he could keep holding on to me. I just dont get that boy sometimes.
This morning we got up at 11:30 (after a very restless night with little sleep). We had a good talk and I think everything is okay between us. We agreed to just go back to how things were before. That we'd still go out on dates and be friends. But we agreed that if Jeremy ever has anything to say, feels smothered, etc, that he'll say it to ME and nobody else. He thanked me for being such a good friend and taking care of him and I left.
I honestly don't know if things will ever really be the same.. we'll see I guess. I hope they do go back to normal though. I will really be sad if I lose Jeremy's friendship. I did some good thinking last night though. I'm going to try to be less boy crazy and stop worrying so much about them. I'm not going to sleep with Justin again.. not right away anyway. I want to get to know him more, go on dates, etc. I don't want to be this girl who sleeps with a guy right away. I want to make them work for it. And if they don't then they're not worth it to me. And Jenn said it really well before.. I'm just not the kind of girl who can have casual sex. I get too emotionally involved.
This whole ordeal made me realize how much I miss having a boyfriend sometimes. You don't have all this stupid boy drama all the time. Don't get me wrong.. I love being single.. but not at times like this :P
I'll leave 2 pics from last night. When my friends email out the rest of the pics I might post a few more if there's any good ones :)
Group Shot... Michelle, Jeremy, Me, Gurpreet & Kacie
Michelle & I: