FicRec: Harry Potter Totally Sucks by dracogotgame
Title: Harry Potter Totally Sucks
Author: dracogotgame
Rating: Teen and Up
Exploding Snap Trope: Dudley Dursley
Word Count: 12428
Tags: Humor, Drunk Fic, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack Treated Humorously, Old Fic, reposted, Drunk Logic, Drunk Shenanigans, Fluff, Dudley Draco Bromance
Summary: Draco Malfoy has three excellent reasons to get sloshed- a father who won't accept him, a Harry Potter he can't stop crushing on and that damned hippogriff that tried to eat him. And he is going to tell them what's what, because clearly that is a good idea. Fortunately, his new muggle friend seems to have a beef with Potter too.
Excerpt:
"No no no! I meant th' other ugly, vicious bird from the depths of hell!"
Laura screamed and whirled around, knocking the wine to the floor. The sight in front of her made her eyes widen and then narrow almost instantly. Her ex-boyfriend was standing- swaying- right behind her, accompanied by a rather dishy blond. And they were both regarding her with unabashed curiosity.
"M tellin' you, she is a vicious bird!" Dudley argued. "Lives on pain 'n misery 'n everything!"
Laura screeched in outrage.
"See?" Dudley said smugly.
The blond looked her over again and shrugged. "Close 'nuff to the real thing."
Rec Notes: This may be a crack fic, but I seriously enjoyed every minute of it. The chance that Draco would randomly run into Dudley, of all people, at a muggle pub is slim, but not 0, and this fic portrays that very well. I read it on my break at work and had to go outside to finish it because I was cackling out loud. The sassy comments from Draco, the frankness of Dudley, and the exasperation of their friends and Harry all combined shot this fic straight into my favourites. Definitely give this one a read, it’s hilarious and heartwarming. And the added bonus scene at the end? *chefs kiss.*
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7769962/chapters/17721592
