and the talking leads to touching...
mmm.. i changed my user bio, but i felt bad about it. because my old one was so hi-fucking-larious. so here i am posting it. below.
oh yeah. and i have a major crush on this online character--ian something from seattle. he's.. twenty-two, i guess. and lives in seattle. this is mostly prompted by a funny post that he put up about kirsten and jake [as ben would put it, "jake dumpynal"] umm.. check out ofcoven, if you're interested.
and, without further ado, the bio you'll all miss terribly:
here's how i was born:
i was in the stomach of a dinosaur. a big one. in truth, i was meant to be a dinosaur, but right as it was my turn to be born, the dinosaur population became extinct and i was buried underground while my mother was incinerated by lava. i, however, was not incinerated. which made me think i must have been a pretty special dinosaur. so i waited around for a few million years until some palentologist finally dug me up. and i was this ugly dinosaur baby. but the palentologist was actually a wizard, and, knowing i wouldn't be accepted into society as a dinosaur, he waved his magic wand and transformed me into beautiful baby sophie johnson, magic dinosaur-person-creation. that's why i have talons.
meanwhile, in my humble town of portland, oregon, i am a fan of fighting crime. yesterday i was on the max train and i saw a small, stranded, pigeon in the center of the tracks, and ran out of the train to save it, before it was crushed to oblivion. i knew that colonel evil was behind the scam, and i telephoned him and then i went to his house and i arrested him, and now he can't torture pigeons anymore. all in a day's work.
oh yeah. and i have a major crush on this online character--ian something from seattle. he's.. twenty-two, i guess. and lives in seattle. this is mostly prompted by a funny post that he put up about kirsten and jake [as ben would put it, "jake dumpynal"] umm.. check out ofcoven, if you're interested.
and, without further ado, the bio you'll all miss terribly:
here's how i was born:
i was in the stomach of a dinosaur. a big one. in truth, i was meant to be a dinosaur, but right as it was my turn to be born, the dinosaur population became extinct and i was buried underground while my mother was incinerated by lava. i, however, was not incinerated. which made me think i must have been a pretty special dinosaur. so i waited around for a few million years until some palentologist finally dug me up. and i was this ugly dinosaur baby. but the palentologist was actually a wizard, and, knowing i wouldn't be accepted into society as a dinosaur, he waved his magic wand and transformed me into beautiful baby sophie johnson, magic dinosaur-person-creation. that's why i have talons.
meanwhile, in my humble town of portland, oregon, i am a fan of fighting crime. yesterday i was on the max train and i saw a small, stranded, pigeon in the center of the tracks, and ran out of the train to save it, before it was crushed to oblivion. i knew that colonel evil was behind the scam, and i telephoned him and then i went to his house and i arrested him, and now he can't torture pigeons anymore. all in a day's work.