what the hell?
First of all, I didn't even want to go to the bar last night.
Roach, what was that straight guy doing there anyway?
Second of all, I just wanted to GO HOME.
How the hell did we end up at his house listening to Elton John and drinking Merlot?
I'm putting this here because everyone should know that I'm a big drunk and need to stop. Or atleast not be around shady guys. Roach and I went home from the gay bar with a straight guy...on a Wednesday night, that is not normal. I don't regret it, everything's fine. I'm just freaked out by my own behavior, by the thing I turn into after five martinis and a fish bowl sized glass of wine. I just kept thinking, "I don't even like this, she does, and that guy does, hmmm, think I'll go vomit now". I couldn't even really walk by the time we got back to my place. I woke up this morning in my bed wearing black socks, a red t-shirt, and no underwear. I was like porky pig. It's kind of hilarious to me, actually. Maybe when I'm a little more comfortable with the situation, I'll leave something here with all of the ridiculous details of how stupid I can be. I'm fine with what happened, but I'm not fine with the possibility of what could happen the next time I get THAT drunk. Believe it or not, I actually have alot of self-respect. I don't do things like this to fulfill some weird low self-esteem void in my soul or anything. I was just drunk and being an idiot. I don't want that to be my excuse, I don't want to do things that necessitate an excuse...and I don't, unless I'm fucked up. I can see where this is going, and I don't want to go there, I love myself and have worked so hard to overcome so much stupid oppressive shit that exists in my head. I don't want to fuck it all up... I've said it before, but I'm serious this time. I'm not the think you drunk I am! hehe I'm not going to stop, hellllll no...you know I needs my wine. Just only going to do it to an extent where I can trust myself, and around people I can trust.
that was heavy, sorry. Will resume stories from work later...I just needed some where to put these thoughts.
Roach, what was that straight guy doing there anyway?
Second of all, I just wanted to GO HOME.
How the hell did we end up at his house listening to Elton John and drinking Merlot?
I'm putting this here because everyone should know that I'm a big drunk and need to stop. Or atleast not be around shady guys. Roach and I went home from the gay bar with a straight guy...on a Wednesday night, that is not normal. I don't regret it, everything's fine. I'm just freaked out by my own behavior, by the thing I turn into after five martinis and a fish bowl sized glass of wine. I just kept thinking, "I don't even like this, she does, and that guy does, hmmm, think I'll go vomit now". I couldn't even really walk by the time we got back to my place. I woke up this morning in my bed wearing black socks, a red t-shirt, and no underwear. I was like porky pig. It's kind of hilarious to me, actually. Maybe when I'm a little more comfortable with the situation, I'll leave something here with all of the ridiculous details of how stupid I can be. I'm fine with what happened, but I'm not fine with the possibility of what could happen the next time I get THAT drunk. Believe it or not, I actually have alot of self-respect. I don't do things like this to fulfill some weird low self-esteem void in my soul or anything. I was just drunk and being an idiot. I don't want that to be my excuse, I don't want to do things that necessitate an excuse...and I don't, unless I'm fucked up. I can see where this is going, and I don't want to go there, I love myself and have worked so hard to overcome so much stupid oppressive shit that exists in my head. I don't want to fuck it all up... I've said it before, but I'm serious this time. I'm not the think you drunk I am! hehe I'm not going to stop, hellllll no...you know I needs my wine. Just only going to do it to an extent where I can trust myself, and around people I can trust.
that was heavy, sorry. Will resume stories from work later...I just needed some where to put these thoughts.