2009 Movie Agenda Part Deux
It's SpatialRift's Semiannual Silver Screen Schedule: The Sequel!
Moon (Jun 12): Sam Rockwell plays a solitary astronaut on the moon with naught but a computer to keep him company. Insanity ensues. You might say he goes loony.
Public Enemies (Jul 1): Johnny Depp as a bank-robbing gangster, with FBI agent Christian Bale hot on his heels. This has BADASS written all over it in giant block letters that are themselves also badass. Not just any typeface is capable of containing this much badass.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Jul 17): Duh.
District 9 (Aug 14): Peter Jackson's new film about some unwelcome alien visitors. Possible allegory to American foreign policy with 70% chance of balls-out weirdness. Bring a poncho.
Ponyo (Aug 14): The latest movie from Miyazaki, who brought us Mononoke, Spirited Away, and Howl's Moving Castle. Seems to be a version of the Little Mermaid story. Guaranteed to have breathtaking animation, especially since it's mostly set in the ocean.
Inglourious Basterds: A new Tarantino flick, one apparently a long time coming. Who wants to see Brad Pitt kill some Nazis? I do! I do!
9 (Sep 9): Elijah Wood plays a small creature who undertakes a long journey to save the world. With the underdog and a group of unlikely friends fighting against deadly enemies, can evil be defeated? In all seriousness, this is a post-apocalyptic animated movie with a lot of charm and the weight of a Tim Burton producer credit promising some slick visuals.
Surrogates (Sep 25): [announcer voice] In a world where everyone lives through machines, can one man save us all from ourselves? [/announcer voice] Since that man is Bruce Willis, I'm gonna have to go with a big FUCK YES HE CAN.
Zombieland (Oct 9): Irreverence? Check. Woody Harrelson? Check. Zombies? Double check. Seriously, this looks hilarious. I know trailers can lie, but if this movie is even half as good as the trailer suggests it'll be worth it.
Avatar (Dec 18): No, not that Avatar, a sci fi entry by the long absent James Cameron with, word has it, some seriously beefed up animation. As in, uber-3D CGI-mixed-with-live-action levels of beef. This is where the beef is, folks. We finally found it. Sigourney Weaver loves it and says there's a lot of science in it too. Science and beef. You heard it here first.
Sherlock Holmes (Dec 25): Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law in a steampunk extravaganza. Sign me up. Also, it's freaking Sherlock Holmes. You do not need any further incentive to go see this movie.
Special Feature! These movies rank a solid "maybe":
The Boat That Rocked (Aug 28): A little creative history about an illegal rock 'n roll radio station broadcasting from a boat off Britain. Drama will possibly be contrived since there was no actual British sentiment that broadcasting rock music is a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Where the Wild Things Are (Oct 16): Jury's still out on whether a ten sentence book can provide a ninety minute movie. Visuals look great though - it's nice to see that not everything is CGI.
Astro Boy (Oct 23): On the one hand, robot boy with jet boots and laser blasters. On the other, Nicolas Cage.
Moon (Jun 12): Sam Rockwell plays a solitary astronaut on the moon with naught but a computer to keep him company. Insanity ensues. You might say he goes loony.
Public Enemies (Jul 1): Johnny Depp as a bank-robbing gangster, with FBI agent Christian Bale hot on his heels. This has BADASS written all over it in giant block letters that are themselves also badass. Not just any typeface is capable of containing this much badass.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Jul 17): Duh.
District 9 (Aug 14): Peter Jackson's new film about some unwelcome alien visitors. Possible allegory to American foreign policy with 70% chance of balls-out weirdness. Bring a poncho.
Ponyo (Aug 14): The latest movie from Miyazaki, who brought us Mononoke, Spirited Away, and Howl's Moving Castle. Seems to be a version of the Little Mermaid story. Guaranteed to have breathtaking animation, especially since it's mostly set in the ocean.
Inglourious Basterds: A new Tarantino flick, one apparently a long time coming. Who wants to see Brad Pitt kill some Nazis? I do! I do!
9 (Sep 9): Elijah Wood plays a small creature who undertakes a long journey to save the world. With the underdog and a group of unlikely friends fighting against deadly enemies, can evil be defeated? In all seriousness, this is a post-apocalyptic animated movie with a lot of charm and the weight of a Tim Burton producer credit promising some slick visuals.
Surrogates (Sep 25): [announcer voice] In a world where everyone lives through machines, can one man save us all from ourselves? [/announcer voice] Since that man is Bruce Willis, I'm gonna have to go with a big FUCK YES HE CAN.
Zombieland (Oct 9): Irreverence? Check. Woody Harrelson? Check. Zombies? Double check. Seriously, this looks hilarious. I know trailers can lie, but if this movie is even half as good as the trailer suggests it'll be worth it.
Avatar (Dec 18): No, not that Avatar, a sci fi entry by the long absent James Cameron with, word has it, some seriously beefed up animation. As in, uber-3D CGI-mixed-with-live-action levels of beef. This is where the beef is, folks. We finally found it. Sigourney Weaver loves it and says there's a lot of science in it too. Science and beef. You heard it here first.
Sherlock Holmes (Dec 25): Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law in a steampunk extravaganza. Sign me up. Also, it's freaking Sherlock Holmes. You do not need any further incentive to go see this movie.
Special Feature! These movies rank a solid "maybe":
The Boat That Rocked (Aug 28): A little creative history about an illegal rock 'n roll radio station broadcasting from a boat off Britain. Drama will possibly be contrived since there was no actual British sentiment that broadcasting rock music is a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Where the Wild Things Are (Oct 16): Jury's still out on whether a ten sentence book can provide a ninety minute movie. Visuals look great though - it's nice to see that not everything is CGI.
Astro Boy (Oct 23): On the one hand, robot boy with jet boots and laser blasters. On the other, Nicolas Cage.