Festivities
Well here's to a wonderful night of festivities. Tonight I ventured out to the gigi's for some much needed bar time. It has been much too long since boring Brian got real real messy at the bar. Anywho, as much fun as tonight was with everyone, it made me realize a few things. First I no longer care what anyone or my family thinks. When your own family wont talk to you for some stupid shit, then I say FUCK YOU! I dont need nor WANT you in my life if thast the way you be. I say GO FUCK YOURSELF! Im probably better off without you and you are probably better off without a GAY son! Second, tongiht ath the bar solidified for me what I thought all along. I can't get this feeling out of my head and I dont know what im gonna do. I have to find a way, somehow, someway to stop feeling this way. Its not healthy and I know that. Ive tried not being there, not being available, not really being a friend, but that didnt work and it just messed things up more. I even tried the other extreme and that backfired too. This is the way thing s are and will be so deal with it. So yeah, the bar can be a very dangerous place i think. Is that truely what I want or need is a night at the bar?