The Truth About Relationships
I never understood relationships......and why they are so damn important to people.....and why people go though so much pain for em........for the longest time....I’ve questioned weather or not I ever wanted to be in one again....I’ve been in more then enough relationships before.....and not once NOT ONCE....was I ever happy....I was stressed out the whole damn way though.....and all I could ever do is smile and nod like a fucking idiot..........and I have come to the conclusion.......that never again shall I be in a relationship....because I don't see the point in hurting myself...relationships are two way things......and for me it only went one way, I’m sure they we're happy.....but from me, i never was and thats just flat out not fair to whom-ever i'm with. i was always stressed out.....sometimes for no reason at all......i just, was...it made no sence to me...this sort of feeling has been with me sence the 7th grade, and has never left me, not for once second....and it took all these things that have been happening over the better part of 6 years.......i know lots about relationships.....I really do.....and how to work with them and how to fix them....when i was dating Alisha...I was stressed for all of that relationship...from day 1.....because I was so afraid of loosing her I, did a bunch of things I never even though I would do (get Julius, Nerviest, clingy) and so on....which is weird because I’m not a jealous, nerviest, or clingy person by any means.....anywayz in short....I learned my lesions with Alisha, and then with all I know.....I could have the perfect boyfriend.....at the beginning of my senior year, I went out with a girl named Chelsea....which was fine....this was the first relationship where I WASN'T STRESSED...at the start I was like "COOL I'M NOT FREEKEND OUT"...but a few weeks later when we broke up.....I didn't care....I acted as if nothing had ever happened, she expected me to be all cursed and out of it the next day....and she was surprised to see me as the happy go lucky person that I am....and this lead me right back to the whole relationships going both ways thing....it's like I’m not putting in the effort I should be....and it's not fair to the girl....that’s not right........after Alisha and I broke up...I discovered how much I loved music....I loved music before....but then after Alisha, it Consumed me, it became my life...it is now and will be forever....."I have picked not to marry or have kids, music is what makes me feel alive" those words were spoken by Jason Newstead (ex-bass for Metallica, and current basest for Vod-boy)......those words really spoke to me, because I felt the same way....relationships we're never that important to me...don't get me wrong, that last one with Chelsea was nice, because I was stress free....and now that I think about it.........that’s the only relationship I’ve ever been in....where music has played a big factor in my life......so maybe forgetting about relationships isn't the best idea.....there was no stress in the last relationship because I knew that if she left, I still had music.......you know what....forget all the things I said about relationships.....a supportive girlfriend would be nice.....but with the way I love music....there's only one problem......with music playing such a big factor in my life.....there's no way I can give my girlfriend what she gives me....so in a since it will be one sided.....and I can't imagine what girl would want that....they would want a boyfriend who would put in just as much as they are.......that is not to say, I wouldn't put anything into the relationship........because I would, I love music with a passion but I still have a life outside of it. lol.......and yeah.......I donno what made me think of all this or why it all happened the way it did........maybe it was because I had a shitty shitty day.....but hey....I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.......so in conclusion....if your a girl who is looking for a boyfriend who doesn't mind sacrificing time so he can do what he loves........look me up :-)...lol.....later dayz
-C.J.
-C.J.