(no subject)
I know certain people get annoyed when I don't update, but I don't like to update unless I have at least one positive thing to say. Otherwise, it looks like all I do is bitch and am unhappy, when it's really not the case. I've been feeling strange lately, and I can't really explain it. When I'm around Matt, for the most part, I'm like a giddy school girl, so happy and carefree... but when he's not around I'm down and worrying about my future and everything I want to do.
I'm getting stressed out and tired of work. There's just too much for me to do and I'm not there enough to get it all done. If I bring it home, I'll never get my school work done. There's just no way for me to balance it. I keep telling myself I just have to get through April and then I can devote myself to work and all will be well.
All will be well if I can pay for my apartment this summer. I finally got my refund from the IRS so I can sign my sublease. I don't think I'm going to make enough at just the senator's office to pay the rent and save for my apartment in the fall and pay all my bills. You always want so badly to be independent of your family, but how do you know when you're actually ready for it? Financially, I'm not sure I can be independent yet. I'm getting better, but once I start paying for the apartment I don't know if that's going to happen. I'm not sure I can even rely on them for help paying the apartment. Sometimes I can and sometimes gma says she's not going to help me at all. It's so stressful.
Tom is coming to sign a lease with us on Tuesday. That makes me feel a little better, although we still have an empty room that some random person is probably going to get thrown in. I never would've signed a lease for an apartment if I knew my grandparents weren't planning on helping me. They said they would and now they've changed their minds. I don't know. I'm not happy about having a random person thrown in there either. And we requested it be a girl because I didn't think I could live with 3 guys, but I'm not a big fan of girls either. Maybe I should've stayed in the dorms another year? Right, like I could've handled that. After my closet falling apart on Wednesday, I'm even more anxious to get out of this place. But Matt and I could've gotten single rooms across the hall from eachother in Wilson on the co-ed floor and it would've been just as good I think... except for the dorm food.
I really really want to go to Australia Spring '07. I want to use it for my field experience. I want the experience of being in another country. I mean, it's the most amazing and beneficial experience anyone can have. This program is through the College of Social Science and Criminal Justice Department. I don't know how I'm going to be able to afford it. My financialaid I was going to get refunded from moving to the apartment was going to go towards rent for the apartment, but if I do STudy Abroad, I'm going to want all my aid to go for that. It's so expensive. I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it.
Matt and I looked at engagement rings on Thursday. The sales lady at Kays attacked us lol She cleaned my rings and we sent one in to get the stones tightened. Matt had to take a phone call for CWP and he left me alone the the lady lol. The one I want is only $2100 ;) For some reason it made me even more excited to go to Seattle and Cali with him Summer '07. Just the two of us in someplace I've always wanted to go. It's going to be amazing. And baby, even if it doesn't happen that summer, I know it will. Don't stress trying to save money for this and your Study Abroad. I'm always going to be here, but how often are you going to get the chance to go to Europe? I love you
I guess this is all for now. I'm alone this weekend and doing loads of homework. Feel free to IM me or call me.
I'm getting stressed out and tired of work. There's just too much for me to do and I'm not there enough to get it all done. If I bring it home, I'll never get my school work done. There's just no way for me to balance it. I keep telling myself I just have to get through April and then I can devote myself to work and all will be well.
All will be well if I can pay for my apartment this summer. I finally got my refund from the IRS so I can sign my sublease. I don't think I'm going to make enough at just the senator's office to pay the rent and save for my apartment in the fall and pay all my bills. You always want so badly to be independent of your family, but how do you know when you're actually ready for it? Financially, I'm not sure I can be independent yet. I'm getting better, but once I start paying for the apartment I don't know if that's going to happen. I'm not sure I can even rely on them for help paying the apartment. Sometimes I can and sometimes gma says she's not going to help me at all. It's so stressful.
Tom is coming to sign a lease with us on Tuesday. That makes me feel a little better, although we still have an empty room that some random person is probably going to get thrown in. I never would've signed a lease for an apartment if I knew my grandparents weren't planning on helping me. They said they would and now they've changed their minds. I don't know. I'm not happy about having a random person thrown in there either. And we requested it be a girl because I didn't think I could live with 3 guys, but I'm not a big fan of girls either. Maybe I should've stayed in the dorms another year? Right, like I could've handled that. After my closet falling apart on Wednesday, I'm even more anxious to get out of this place. But Matt and I could've gotten single rooms across the hall from eachother in Wilson on the co-ed floor and it would've been just as good I think... except for the dorm food.
I really really want to go to Australia Spring '07. I want to use it for my field experience. I want the experience of being in another country. I mean, it's the most amazing and beneficial experience anyone can have. This program is through the College of Social Science and Criminal Justice Department. I don't know how I'm going to be able to afford it. My financialaid I was going to get refunded from moving to the apartment was going to go towards rent for the apartment, but if I do STudy Abroad, I'm going to want all my aid to go for that. It's so expensive. I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it.
Matt and I looked at engagement rings on Thursday. The sales lady at Kays attacked us lol She cleaned my rings and we sent one in to get the stones tightened. Matt had to take a phone call for CWP and he left me alone the the lady lol. The one I want is only $2100 ;) For some reason it made me even more excited to go to Seattle and Cali with him Summer '07. Just the two of us in someplace I've always wanted to go. It's going to be amazing. And baby, even if it doesn't happen that summer, I know it will. Don't stress trying to save money for this and your Study Abroad. I'm always going to be here, but how often are you going to get the chance to go to Europe? I love you
I guess this is all for now. I'm alone this weekend and doing loads of homework. Feel free to IM me or call me.