Thoughts while sleeping(Drinking the REM away)
We used to sit in the apartment where I lived, We would talk about how we were socialists, or nihilists, or humanitarians. We Would snort heroin, because none of us liked needles. Fire and spoons made up essential elements of life. And Vodka. Vodka means water in Russian, and like water it fueled all life. I would ponder where exactly in my childhood I had become so unhappy, I had become a nihilist with a purpose to live. An agnostic with G-d in my heart. One hit of heroin and you would believe in G-d too. Would would light up cigarettes, and over the noise of glasses clinking, drinks pouring and somber shouts of 'Brost' or 'L'chaim' or 'Cheers' I would contemplate. Sometimes it would be profound to me, sometimes irrelevant. Thinking just for the sake of it. Like an addiction. I was always quiet, and rarely had the chance to interrupt anyone, they all had more to say anyhow. They would all fade in and out of my life. And I knew that at some point I would be all alone. Left to the company of tobacco, narcotics and alcohol. Sometimes I would get overwhelmed, and run outside. The freezing air would hit me like a brick, enveloping me. After a few moments of this I would realize that the air was too fresh, too perfect. I would head back inside to be consumed by cigarette smoke and chatter.