Never give up! Never surrender!
My mother and I, in watching the news the past couple of years, have noticed an alarming number of people who get kidnapped and murdered by psychomaniacs. We were discussing it, and we figured out that the problem is, people are afraid of knife- or gun-weilding psychos.
So, we came up with the following list.
The Guide To Surviving A Psychomaniac:
1. If someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night and comes into your bedroom, and tells you to come with him, do not go willingly. If he drags you out of your bed, make him trip over something and then proceed to beat him to death with the nearest blunt object.
Note: If you do end up killing the psycho, it counts as self-defense and is a permissible act under federal law.
2. If he gets you out of your room and you are on the second floor, when you get to the stairs, push him down them. With any luck, he will break his neck, or some other bone. If you feel inclined, beat him with a blunt object.
3. If you're on the first floor, make him go through the kitchen, grab a knife, and stab him.
4. If you're in a public place, and he tells you not to scream or he'll hurt you, go ahead and scream. He's probably going to hurt you if you go with him, and he will probably be reluctant to cause a scene in public, and will run away.
5. If you DO get kidnapped, the following are ways to incapacitate the kidnapper (provided you aren't tied up; if you are, and you are able to, attempt to choke him with your bonds).
-- Heel of your hand to his nose, forcefully up and in. This will send the sharp part of his nose straight into his brain.
-- Do not hesitate to bite him, preferably somewhere vital, like the jugular. Contrary to popular belief, if you are punctured in the jugular, you will most likely die in an average of two minutes. So will he.
-- If he is attempting to rape you, do not hesitate to take hold of his penis and yank it, twist it, or bite it. Cause him as much harm as possible.
-- The easiest way to break his arm--and this is irreparable--grab his wrist, pull the arm straight out, and place the heel of your hand against the outside of the elbow. Apply as much force as you want. It will hurt like blazes and shatter his elbow.
-- Kick the knee just under the kneecap, up and in. This will break his knee and usually render him immobile.
-- Soft, fleshy parts are usually very sensitive. Stab them if at all possible.
-- The eyes are squishy. If you have to, stab them. Then you can run away, because he will not be able to find you.
6. In the event you are taken somewhere and held at gunpoint, given a shovel, and told to dig, DO NOT DIG THE HOLE! He is going to kill you anyway. And you have a shovel. Hit him with the shovel--the face is preferable, as is the temple. Do not worry if he is going to shoot you. He certainly will if you dig the hole. If you fight back, you have a chance of surviving. Plus, if he drove you there, you can kill him and take his keys.
7. NEVER hesitate to make as much noise as humanly possible.
8. NEVER do anything that could block your escape. Do not do anything that would shut you in with the psycho. Your aim is to stop him and free yourself.
9. If you are raped, do not hide it. It is NOT your fault, even if you were dressed revealingly. 90% of rapes are about power, not sex, so the way you dress means absolutely nothing. Do not bathe; go immediately to the nearest medical facility for treatment. Do not hesitate to press charges. Not only are you doing good for yourself, you are saving others.
10. Do not hesitate to be suspicious of strangers. Do NOT be trusting. It is better to be wrong and embarrassed than to be dead!
11. Sharp objects, no matter how small, are your friend. Be creative!
Hopefully, this guide has been informative. Just remember: keep fighting. DO NOT SURRENDER.
So, we came up with the following list.
The Guide To Surviving A Psychomaniac:
1. If someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night and comes into your bedroom, and tells you to come with him, do not go willingly. If he drags you out of your bed, make him trip over something and then proceed to beat him to death with the nearest blunt object.
Note: If you do end up killing the psycho, it counts as self-defense and is a permissible act under federal law.
2. If he gets you out of your room and you are on the second floor, when you get to the stairs, push him down them. With any luck, he will break his neck, or some other bone. If you feel inclined, beat him with a blunt object.
3. If you're on the first floor, make him go through the kitchen, grab a knife, and stab him.
4. If you're in a public place, and he tells you not to scream or he'll hurt you, go ahead and scream. He's probably going to hurt you if you go with him, and he will probably be reluctant to cause a scene in public, and will run away.
5. If you DO get kidnapped, the following are ways to incapacitate the kidnapper (provided you aren't tied up; if you are, and you are able to, attempt to choke him with your bonds).
-- Heel of your hand to his nose, forcefully up and in. This will send the sharp part of his nose straight into his brain.
-- Do not hesitate to bite him, preferably somewhere vital, like the jugular. Contrary to popular belief, if you are punctured in the jugular, you will most likely die in an average of two minutes. So will he.
-- If he is attempting to rape you, do not hesitate to take hold of his penis and yank it, twist it, or bite it. Cause him as much harm as possible.
-- The easiest way to break his arm--and this is irreparable--grab his wrist, pull the arm straight out, and place the heel of your hand against the outside of the elbow. Apply as much force as you want. It will hurt like blazes and shatter his elbow.
-- Kick the knee just under the kneecap, up and in. This will break his knee and usually render him immobile.
-- Soft, fleshy parts are usually very sensitive. Stab them if at all possible.
-- The eyes are squishy. If you have to, stab them. Then you can run away, because he will not be able to find you.
6. In the event you are taken somewhere and held at gunpoint, given a shovel, and told to dig, DO NOT DIG THE HOLE! He is going to kill you anyway. And you have a shovel. Hit him with the shovel--the face is preferable, as is the temple. Do not worry if he is going to shoot you. He certainly will if you dig the hole. If you fight back, you have a chance of surviving. Plus, if he drove you there, you can kill him and take his keys.
7. NEVER hesitate to make as much noise as humanly possible.
8. NEVER do anything that could block your escape. Do not do anything that would shut you in with the psycho. Your aim is to stop him and free yourself.
9. If you are raped, do not hide it. It is NOT your fault, even if you were dressed revealingly. 90% of rapes are about power, not sex, so the way you dress means absolutely nothing. Do not bathe; go immediately to the nearest medical facility for treatment. Do not hesitate to press charges. Not only are you doing good for yourself, you are saving others.
10. Do not hesitate to be suspicious of strangers. Do NOT be trusting. It is better to be wrong and embarrassed than to be dead!
11. Sharp objects, no matter how small, are your friend. Be creative!
Hopefully, this guide has been informative. Just remember: keep fighting. DO NOT SURRENDER.