My letter of resignation.
My reason for leaving the Kingship is entirely personal. While you and I were never closely acquainted, I have to pay you my respects. Please allow me to whittle your time away this long letter of my personal feelings toward you and the Kingship of the East.
I never really knew you well. Yes, there is plenty of hearsay that goes around, but whether any of it is true or not does not really matter right now. All I truly know is what I've seen of you for myself. You laid a very defining line between roleplay and out-of-character interaction, which I greatly respect. A lot of people let the two concepts overlap, and would get upset over things that happened in-character, or their characters would be influenced by things out-of-character. I remember the debate we had in Guild Chat a while back, which was entirely roleplay. Although I did enjoy it from a roleplayer's standpoint, people in the koe channel complained about how it was a pointless argument and we should stop. But when you expressed the same feelings toward it that I had, I was reassured that we were of the same mindset.
To be honest with you, your persona, both in and out of character, did not fit the archetype of an ideal leader that I had in my head. Whether or not my opinion of you is influenced by Croatoa's IC nihilism is up for debate, as I'm not really certain where my opinion ends and Crow's begins. But the fact stands that you've created this massive guild that has a great influence on both Horde and Alliance, and is an outstanding presence on the ED server. But gathering up people interested in RP is relatively easy. Most of us rolled on an RPPvP server for that reason. What's more impressive is that SOMEHOW you've managed to hold this all together. In all of my years of visiting different roleplay communities, the structure of this guild is the most solid I've ever seen. So obviously, whether I like, dislike, approve, or disapprove of you is absolutely irrelevant. You clearly have some quality about you that commands authority. I am honored to have been a part of it.
The main problem with the Kingship is that Somarin is my representative. I am a member of his House. He got me into the Vanguard. All of my behavior is attributed to him, and he is accountable for me. This is unacceptable to me. I am a strong individual who answers to no one, and if people have a problem with me, I want them to take it up with ME, not with someone else. Nobody has the right, nor deserves the burden, of being my superior. I act always of my own volition. I don't want Somarin to suffer the consequences of my actions, and I don't want our relationship to be a dichotomy of love and business. This has nothing to do with how the guild is run, it's just driving a wedge between us. He dedicates himself to your guild. He has real friends here. I have no real binding ties, and it's best for me to leave now before I make any close friends that will miss me (I already know I will miss a lot of people).
I used to be the assistant-guild master of an RP guild in Ultima Online. I know what it is to run a guild, to care for a memberbase, to have regular events scheduled. To dedicate yourself to something so thankless, yet so rewarding.
I would like also to address some of the guild policies that are also leading me to leave the Kingship. This is an issue you've always been in the dark in, leading you to make your own assumptions about me - my opinion about PvP. Thing is, I don't have anything against PvP. I actually enjoyed most of the PvP events I went to with the Kingship. However, the contests with The Crew and Nyx were endless and tiresome. It boiled down to a very childish competition of who was better, and who got the moral victory in the end. When we lost a PvP fight, and I heard in vent, "Well, we may have lost, but it took twice, no, THREE TIMES as many of them to kill us, and look how long it took for them to bring us down!" Things like that are just self deceptions and avoidance of truth. There is no shame in defeat, and it's much more honorable to accept it than to trash talk an entity that can't defend itself. That's the part that REALLY bothered me, the lies that made us the REAL winners. It was completely disgraceful.
On top of that, the Kingship would respond in force to any PvP threat against a person who complained about it in Guild Chat. That's what the Crew and Nyx wanted. Their mindset was, "Let's camp this KoE person. It'll make their whole GUILD come." And there is no dishonor in valiantly defending your comrades. But it meant that we were playing THEIR game. They wanted us: we were there. We were abiding their wishes. Whether we win or lost in the end doesn't change that we were easily manipulated by some gaggle of PvP-obsessed losers who don't even RP (Crew and Nyx). I thought the Kingship was a mature enough guild to transcend these childish games. It wasn't.
And I was not quiet. I brought my concerns to an officer, who told me that your belief was, "Kingship is now a pvp guild. If you don't like that, then leave." I of course couldn't. I liked the guild, and I stayed for the people, the rich roleplay, and for Somarin. It was the easiest way for me to spend time with the person I loved. But now that I'll be living with him inside a month, I can now sever my ties here without any lasting effects on myself.
So all I could do to voice my disapproval of the Kingship bowing so readily to the Crew and Nyx's demands was to log off when people were called to arms: a public boycott. Of course, it's easy enough to see it as just some slacker who doesn't want to help out. If you still view it that way, I probably can't dissuade you. But my intentions were only to make it known that I did not approve of the guild's policy toward PvP. A lone protest.
The final reason for leaving is the etiquette displayed during PvE raids. For the most part it was fun, but it's not the first raiding guild I've been in. This was the only guild I've been in whose raid leaders would talk down to everyone and actually reduce themselves to swearing and cursing when something went wrong. I'm too old and too proud to be lectured like a child, even if the errors being addressed are not mine. I'm aware that most successful guilds run the way yours does, but I'm willing to compromise if that's the reality. I'd rather people be treated with overall respect, than being scolded like a parent to his children. I'd rather be in a lower ranked guild of friends and equals, than a higher ranked guild of superiors and vassals. (Of course I'm speaking OOC. While IC I'm comfortable with the heirarchy, I'm of the belief that behind the computer screen, we're all equals).
So I thank you for the experience of the Kingship of the East. I really am sad to leave, but my differences with your guild cannot be compromised, and the respectful thing for me to do is move on and let all of you continue on as you always have. In the end, I have Somarin, and you to thank. I cannot begin to show you my gratitude for that. I hope that we can maintain a positive association with each other, and know that despite my judgments and personal views expressed here, I have nothing but respect for the Kingship.
Orevwa and elune'adore.
-Megan Jolly, aka Crow
I never really knew you well. Yes, there is plenty of hearsay that goes around, but whether any of it is true or not does not really matter right now. All I truly know is what I've seen of you for myself. You laid a very defining line between roleplay and out-of-character interaction, which I greatly respect. A lot of people let the two concepts overlap, and would get upset over things that happened in-character, or their characters would be influenced by things out-of-character. I remember the debate we had in Guild Chat a while back, which was entirely roleplay. Although I did enjoy it from a roleplayer's standpoint, people in the koe channel complained about how it was a pointless argument and we should stop. But when you expressed the same feelings toward it that I had, I was reassured that we were of the same mindset.
To be honest with you, your persona, both in and out of character, did not fit the archetype of an ideal leader that I had in my head. Whether or not my opinion of you is influenced by Croatoa's IC nihilism is up for debate, as I'm not really certain where my opinion ends and Crow's begins. But the fact stands that you've created this massive guild that has a great influence on both Horde and Alliance, and is an outstanding presence on the ED server. But gathering up people interested in RP is relatively easy. Most of us rolled on an RPPvP server for that reason. What's more impressive is that SOMEHOW you've managed to hold this all together. In all of my years of visiting different roleplay communities, the structure of this guild is the most solid I've ever seen. So obviously, whether I like, dislike, approve, or disapprove of you is absolutely irrelevant. You clearly have some quality about you that commands authority. I am honored to have been a part of it.
The main problem with the Kingship is that Somarin is my representative. I am a member of his House. He got me into the Vanguard. All of my behavior is attributed to him, and he is accountable for me. This is unacceptable to me. I am a strong individual who answers to no one, and if people have a problem with me, I want them to take it up with ME, not with someone else. Nobody has the right, nor deserves the burden, of being my superior. I act always of my own volition. I don't want Somarin to suffer the consequences of my actions, and I don't want our relationship to be a dichotomy of love and business. This has nothing to do with how the guild is run, it's just driving a wedge between us. He dedicates himself to your guild. He has real friends here. I have no real binding ties, and it's best for me to leave now before I make any close friends that will miss me (I already know I will miss a lot of people).
I used to be the assistant-guild master of an RP guild in Ultima Online. I know what it is to run a guild, to care for a memberbase, to have regular events scheduled. To dedicate yourself to something so thankless, yet so rewarding.
I would like also to address some of the guild policies that are also leading me to leave the Kingship. This is an issue you've always been in the dark in, leading you to make your own assumptions about me - my opinion about PvP. Thing is, I don't have anything against PvP. I actually enjoyed most of the PvP events I went to with the Kingship. However, the contests with The Crew and Nyx were endless and tiresome. It boiled down to a very childish competition of who was better, and who got the moral victory in the end. When we lost a PvP fight, and I heard in vent, "Well, we may have lost, but it took twice, no, THREE TIMES as many of them to kill us, and look how long it took for them to bring us down!" Things like that are just self deceptions and avoidance of truth. There is no shame in defeat, and it's much more honorable to accept it than to trash talk an entity that can't defend itself. That's the part that REALLY bothered me, the lies that made us the REAL winners. It was completely disgraceful.
On top of that, the Kingship would respond in force to any PvP threat against a person who complained about it in Guild Chat. That's what the Crew and Nyx wanted. Their mindset was, "Let's camp this KoE person. It'll make their whole GUILD come." And there is no dishonor in valiantly defending your comrades. But it meant that we were playing THEIR game. They wanted us: we were there. We were abiding their wishes. Whether we win or lost in the end doesn't change that we were easily manipulated by some gaggle of PvP-obsessed losers who don't even RP (Crew and Nyx). I thought the Kingship was a mature enough guild to transcend these childish games. It wasn't.
And I was not quiet. I brought my concerns to an officer, who told me that your belief was, "Kingship is now a pvp guild. If you don't like that, then leave." I of course couldn't. I liked the guild, and I stayed for the people, the rich roleplay, and for Somarin. It was the easiest way for me to spend time with the person I loved. But now that I'll be living with him inside a month, I can now sever my ties here without any lasting effects on myself.
So all I could do to voice my disapproval of the Kingship bowing so readily to the Crew and Nyx's demands was to log off when people were called to arms: a public boycott. Of course, it's easy enough to see it as just some slacker who doesn't want to help out. If you still view it that way, I probably can't dissuade you. But my intentions were only to make it known that I did not approve of the guild's policy toward PvP. A lone protest.
The final reason for leaving is the etiquette displayed during PvE raids. For the most part it was fun, but it's not the first raiding guild I've been in. This was the only guild I've been in whose raid leaders would talk down to everyone and actually reduce themselves to swearing and cursing when something went wrong. I'm too old and too proud to be lectured like a child, even if the errors being addressed are not mine. I'm aware that most successful guilds run the way yours does, but I'm willing to compromise if that's the reality. I'd rather people be treated with overall respect, than being scolded like a parent to his children. I'd rather be in a lower ranked guild of friends and equals, than a higher ranked guild of superiors and vassals. (Of course I'm speaking OOC. While IC I'm comfortable with the heirarchy, I'm of the belief that behind the computer screen, we're all equals).
So I thank you for the experience of the Kingship of the East. I really am sad to leave, but my differences with your guild cannot be compromised, and the respectful thing for me to do is move on and let all of you continue on as you always have. In the end, I have Somarin, and you to thank. I cannot begin to show you my gratitude for that. I hope that we can maintain a positive association with each other, and know that despite my judgments and personal views expressed here, I have nothing but respect for the Kingship.
Orevwa and elune'adore.
-Megan Jolly, aka Crow