What I have learned from Dating.
1) I am stubborn, tend towards passive aggressiveness, and like to butt heads together in earnest debate and even arguments. I want someone who will embrace this part of me, not just "cope" with it or turn the other way when I show some sign of "gumption" or lack of acknowledging of "face" while in AMERICA. I'm all about embracing culture when I'm in it, and there is not a concept of face in America. At least, not the kind I've been associating with.
2) I'm independent, and if that's not acceptable, hehe, you don't want to be in the same room as me as I have nothing nice to say to you.
3) I want to be with someone who is compassionate about other people. Not just mildly either--full blown, I care about people, who they are, what they do, etc. Yes, that does overtake your life. That's where we do things together, and not alone. I don't want to be with someone who is constantly judging me and everyone I associate with. If that's you, you don't want to be in the same room as me either.
4) Be yourself. If you can't do that, you are not ready for a relationship, or you are not meant to be with me. Break my heart. I'll survive. Just don't sit there and keep pretending to be someone you don't want to be (this goes for me too).
5) Communicate. You ditch me once, my bad. The second time in a row, you are gone. Good bye! If I suggest something, I don't know you decide is not acceptable. I didn't ask for MY opinion, I gave it when I asked, I'm asking for YOURS. I will do the same with you. If I cannot do that, I am not comfortable enough in my own skin to be with you, and the reversal is true as well.
6) Communicating 2. You want us to be something? Great. Talk to me about it. DO NOT TELL ME I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Do not wait until we haven't seen each other for THREE WEEKS before you ask "Hey, are we going out?" CHICKEN!!
7) I'm not your dating guinea pig, and I'm not about to make you mine either.
8) When it's through, it's through, and for goodness sake give me room to breathe!
I have friends and people I know like this whom I treasure dearly. I just don't date them.
And tonite I have to tell someone I really admire, respect, and think is really cute and kind and smart and awesome that it doesn't work. It isn't working. It's not for us. I keep changing into what I think you would want out of me, and I should just be myself. I hope you find someone super amazing who appreciates ALL of you, not just the parts I've seen. And likewise, I'm going to keep searching for someone who will take ALL of me and just for what it is--me.
And who doesn't find ways to hurt me without being aware of it. And then glosses over it with "I'm learning, forgive me." Instead of "I'm sorry, I am learning, but I shouldn't have taken it out on YOU." For that, I still will not grant you a single excuse. You didn't even formally apologize, and for someone so caught up in formality, that should have been at the top of your list.
P.S. What have I learned from being asked out on a date?
If anyone has even a vague semblance of creepiness, do not, EVER, under any condition, give them the foggiest idea that I might one day go out to lunch with them. Kick it in the butt then and there.
2) I'm independent, and if that's not acceptable, hehe, you don't want to be in the same room as me as I have nothing nice to say to you.
3) I want to be with someone who is compassionate about other people. Not just mildly either--full blown, I care about people, who they are, what they do, etc. Yes, that does overtake your life. That's where we do things together, and not alone. I don't want to be with someone who is constantly judging me and everyone I associate with. If that's you, you don't want to be in the same room as me either.
4) Be yourself. If you can't do that, you are not ready for a relationship, or you are not meant to be with me. Break my heart. I'll survive. Just don't sit there and keep pretending to be someone you don't want to be (this goes for me too).
5) Communicate. You ditch me once, my bad. The second time in a row, you are gone. Good bye! If I suggest something, I don't know you decide is not acceptable. I didn't ask for MY opinion, I gave it when I asked, I'm asking for YOURS. I will do the same with you. If I cannot do that, I am not comfortable enough in my own skin to be with you, and the reversal is true as well.
6) Communicating 2. You want us to be something? Great. Talk to me about it. DO NOT TELL ME I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Do not wait until we haven't seen each other for THREE WEEKS before you ask "Hey, are we going out?" CHICKEN!!
7) I'm not your dating guinea pig, and I'm not about to make you mine either.
8) When it's through, it's through, and for goodness sake give me room to breathe!
I have friends and people I know like this whom I treasure dearly. I just don't date them.
And tonite I have to tell someone I really admire, respect, and think is really cute and kind and smart and awesome that it doesn't work. It isn't working. It's not for us. I keep changing into what I think you would want out of me, and I should just be myself. I hope you find someone super amazing who appreciates ALL of you, not just the parts I've seen. And likewise, I'm going to keep searching for someone who will take ALL of me and just for what it is--me.
And who doesn't find ways to hurt me without being aware of it. And then glosses over it with "I'm learning, forgive me." Instead of "I'm sorry, I am learning, but I shouldn't have taken it out on YOU." For that, I still will not grant you a single excuse. You didn't even formally apologize, and for someone so caught up in formality, that should have been at the top of your list.
P.S. What have I learned from being asked out on a date?
If anyone has even a vague semblance of creepiness, do not, EVER, under any condition, give them the foggiest idea that I might one day go out to lunch with them. Kick it in the butt then and there.