this will be in xanga too...sorry for cross post.
So today I'm having a blah day. I feel ugly, I look ugly, I don't want to go to work and thats not even whats bugging me. I know that moving home is whats best for me I truly do, but it is almost if not more lonely for me than being down in Missouri. I don't usually go out, which is probably the biggest adjustment of them all for me because in MO I went out all the time, and even when I went out by myself I knew the bartenders or, people who are at the bars, and here its so hard to do that. Also my job sucks, not because the job is hard, but because for 5+ hours everyday I have nobody to talk to because I don't speak spanish, therefore my entire day is spent in silence because either I'm home alone before work when my parents are at work, or I am silent at work because I have nobody to hold more than a surface level conversation with. But I can't complain too much because the money is good. I miss my friends more than anything, it was just so laid back there, if I needed something they were there. I know its like that here in Swood, but its a lot harder to get them to drop things at the drop of a dime to do something. I probably miss Jason the most, he's hands down the best guy I've ever known, and definitely the best friend I could possibly ask for. I absolutely adore him and its hard for me not to see him all the time. And as sick as it sounds and after everything I've gone through I even miss Casey. Because when I was there I knew that I would see him and he would want me, and it made me feel better knowing that someone wanted me, as opposed to nobody here wanting me. I just don't know what to do right now, I wish I had something more here.