(no subject)
* had my review on Wednesday. It went so well, excellent I'd say. I got a raise. I was told they 'fought' to give me 1% more than what was allowable. Not sure if I believe that, but it's more money so what do I care. Raise is tiny, but I'll take it.
Boss knows that the job is a dead end and that I won't be there forever. I told her that I was too intelligent and amazing to spend more years pushing paper. She agreed.
I told some coworkers that I was too amazing to be doing what I'm doing and sadly one became upset. Just cos I think I'm amazing doesn't mean someone else is less amazing.
* couple of weeks ago at Monday group I had a scary experience with a meditation. We were told to detach from our body, so I did. I went somewhere and when I came back I couldn't find myself. I heard voices and they weren't nice. I didn't feel like I belonged in my body. I couldn't hear or feel the trees. I felt alone and nothing made sense. I wanted to harm myself. It took all day the next day to straighten myself out. that was 24th and i was sad I had to deal with all that on that day.
* mom's death day was alright. I had my period and sadly it was crazy. Went out to western mass and then the plan was to attend monthly angel meetup group. tmi, but because of my period I couldn't go to the meeting. sad. I'm sad I can't take the pill to alleviate period symptoms.
* Thursday I woke up at 6am (late). First thought: No, it can't be time to come back yet, I'm not finished.
Where the hell am I going during my sleep? and what am I doing? No wonder why I have to drag myself out of bed and it takes forever to get going. I'm traveling, going places, doing work in my sleep. When do I rest? I dunno.
* once again things at work are stupid. I can't seem to fit in. and i'm tired of it. I spend my mornings trying to wrap my head around being here (i was somewhere else in my sleep) and I forget to engage with people. They in turn think I'm upset and stuff.
I tried once to talk about Reiki at work. David made sexual references and Karen talked about her husband putting his penis in her mouth.
Maybe it's good I'm quiet.
Boss knows that the job is a dead end and that I won't be there forever. I told her that I was too intelligent and amazing to spend more years pushing paper. She agreed.
I told some coworkers that I was too amazing to be doing what I'm doing and sadly one became upset. Just cos I think I'm amazing doesn't mean someone else is less amazing.
* couple of weeks ago at Monday group I had a scary experience with a meditation. We were told to detach from our body, so I did. I went somewhere and when I came back I couldn't find myself. I heard voices and they weren't nice. I didn't feel like I belonged in my body. I couldn't hear or feel the trees. I felt alone and nothing made sense. I wanted to harm myself. It took all day the next day to straighten myself out. that was 24th and i was sad I had to deal with all that on that day.
* mom's death day was alright. I had my period and sadly it was crazy. Went out to western mass and then the plan was to attend monthly angel meetup group. tmi, but because of my period I couldn't go to the meeting. sad. I'm sad I can't take the pill to alleviate period symptoms.
* Thursday I woke up at 6am (late). First thought: No, it can't be time to come back yet, I'm not finished.
Where the hell am I going during my sleep? and what am I doing? No wonder why I have to drag myself out of bed and it takes forever to get going. I'm traveling, going places, doing work in my sleep. When do I rest? I dunno.
* once again things at work are stupid. I can't seem to fit in. and i'm tired of it. I spend my mornings trying to wrap my head around being here (i was somewhere else in my sleep) and I forget to engage with people. They in turn think I'm upset and stuff.
I tried once to talk about Reiki at work. David made sexual references and Karen talked about her husband putting his penis in her mouth.
Maybe it's good I'm quiet.