Hosting my own events
There are events and venues in my chosen communities that I am not welcome at. The majority of these cases are due to my views on the subject of consent and determinism, and the discomfort of others who have trouble with rational discussion and spotting contradictions in their own beliefs and actions. Would I like this state of affairs to change? Sure. Am I willing to give up on my beliefs, and the actions predicated on them, which I believe to render a net good to my communities and society? Not a chance.
To a much less severe, but more widespread, degree, there are people who simply don't enjoy my company. I have an abrasive personality; I'm somewhat loud; I am not particularly attractive; I am not wealthy to the degree that often engenders companionship. I am on the wrong end of a dozen different trait spectra that lead to fewer people choosing to be around me. Many people will tolerate my company, despite these things, out of some overriding unrelated priority, but that doesn't speak to my value at all.
These are things that have driven me towards hosting more of my own events. By hosting my own movie nights, play parties, educational events, etc, I can ensure that I am mostly, if not only, surrounded by people who actually value my company, or at least actively choose to endure it. People who feel threatened by me can easily opt out of my company. People who do not enjoy engaging in conversation with me can be sure they will not accidentally encounter me.
This post was prompted by, but not even remotely entirely based on, my recently hosting some of my first "adult" events in MA, in close temporal proximity to being explicitly not-invited to a number of similar, vaguely or not, events in other community I'm part of. Please do not read this as directed entirely, or even mostly, at any specific event or venue. While I welcome replies on the topic of specific events, venues, or people, the scope of this post is meant to be more general than that.
To a much less severe, but more widespread, degree, there are people who simply don't enjoy my company. I have an abrasive personality; I'm somewhat loud; I am not particularly attractive; I am not wealthy to the degree that often engenders companionship. I am on the wrong end of a dozen different trait spectra that lead to fewer people choosing to be around me. Many people will tolerate my company, despite these things, out of some overriding unrelated priority, but that doesn't speak to my value at all.
These are things that have driven me towards hosting more of my own events. By hosting my own movie nights, play parties, educational events, etc, I can ensure that I am mostly, if not only, surrounded by people who actually value my company, or at least actively choose to endure it. People who feel threatened by me can easily opt out of my company. People who do not enjoy engaging in conversation with me can be sure they will not accidentally encounter me.
This post was prompted by, but not even remotely entirely based on, my recently hosting some of my first "adult" events in MA, in close temporal proximity to being explicitly not-invited to a number of similar, vaguely or not, events in other community I'm part of. Please do not read this as directed entirely, or even mostly, at any specific event or venue. While I welcome replies on the topic of specific events, venues, or people, the scope of this post is meant to be more general than that.