Oral Herpes
Let's talk about oral herpes, aka "cold sores", specifically Herpes Simplex Virus 1[1], which is the only incurable STD that is commonly transmitted by just kissing someone. Do you have it? If you said "no", you're probably wrong. If you've tested negative recently, you're still probably wrong. Statistics from various sources, including the CDC, place the HSV-1 infection rate among Americans between 50 and 98%.
I've recently found out that I probably have HSV-1. I've probably had it for at least a year. My experience with this discovery has driven me to significant research, and what I find appalls me. That is, I am not particularly angry at the infection rate or lack of a cure or vaccine, since the disease is almost entirely harmless, but at the mistakes in perceived infection rate and behavioral risk among the demographics that make up my social circles. I am angry at my high school sex ed curriculum for leaving me in the dark regarding this particular risk. I am unhappy with a pharmaceutical industry that manages[2] to get me to spend 30 seconds of my leisure time every day trying to avoid thinking about the issue, without imparting any actually useful information on the subject. I am especially angry at people whose unrealistic expectations shade their opinions of others[3].
When I found out, I notified every girl I have kissed with an open mouth. My sexual history, if you would call it that, only goes back a couple of years, so the list was mercifully short. Thanks to their frank responses, I now know that at least half of them already have it, and had it when we were together. Only one of them saw fit to tell me at the time, but I don't blame the others at all. How often do you ask someone about STDs before getting to first base[4][5]? I am now stating my status[6] before going that far with someone, as a matter of course. I have had no undesirable results from this practice so far, and recent experience has taught me that encountering a negative reaction at that point would probably be a good early indicator of problems anyway.
So, on to the point of this post, if informing my friends wasn't point enough... What do you think? If you think you don't have it, why do you think that? I'll remind you again that you're probably wrong. Are common social customs and assumptions/expectations with regard to STDs hypocritical[7] or unrealistic[8]? Is this post going to cause you to change anything about your sexual behavior, or at least think on the subject more often? Have you learned anything from it other than how verbose I am?
I hope some of you come away from this post, or the ensuing comment threads, better off in some way, even if that way is only knowing not to kiss me in the future.
[1] HSV-1 very rarely presents as genital sores, and HSV-2 rarely presents as oral sores.
[2] I haven't watched TV with commercials for more than an hour since the late 90s, but the concept of drug commercials is still common enough for this to be accurate in a more general sense.
[3] 10% of women with a single lifelong sexual partner have HSV-1, but of course having an STD means you must be a slut.
[4] If you do so more often because of this post, it will have served a purpose.
[5] I usually skip first and spend more time at second and third, for various reasons. Ignoring my specific case, this seems like a sound plan, in terms of STD avoidance.
[6] I am not certain that I have it. I haven't received my test results yet, and even then the false negative rate for HSV-1 is astonishing (50% or higher), especially in asymptomatic patients. But it seems safe to assume that I do, given my known exposure and the average infection rate. Even if I really don't have it, with 99% certainty I will have it within the next few years, despite falling in the bottom 10% of my acquaintances in terms of promiscuity.
[7] That is, do you apply the golden rule to STD information and risk?
[8] Expecting everyone to volunteer their STD status is unrealistic, both because no one actually knows their immediate status (at best, they know their status a few weeks or hours ago, depending on the STD), and because if it happened then STDs would (mostly) have already stopped spreading, except among people who consider the rewards worth the risk. Expecting everyone to answer honestly may be unrealistic, depending on how honest you think people are.
Cross posted to Livejournal, Facebook, and Fetlife.
I've recently found out that I probably have HSV-1. I've probably had it for at least a year. My experience with this discovery has driven me to significant research, and what I find appalls me. That is, I am not particularly angry at the infection rate or lack of a cure or vaccine, since the disease is almost entirely harmless, but at the mistakes in perceived infection rate and behavioral risk among the demographics that make up my social circles. I am angry at my high school sex ed curriculum for leaving me in the dark regarding this particular risk. I am unhappy with a pharmaceutical industry that manages[2] to get me to spend 30 seconds of my leisure time every day trying to avoid thinking about the issue, without imparting any actually useful information on the subject. I am especially angry at people whose unrealistic expectations shade their opinions of others[3].
When I found out, I notified every girl I have kissed with an open mouth. My sexual history, if you would call it that, only goes back a couple of years, so the list was mercifully short. Thanks to their frank responses, I now know that at least half of them already have it, and had it when we were together. Only one of them saw fit to tell me at the time, but I don't blame the others at all. How often do you ask someone about STDs before getting to first base[4][5]? I am now stating my status[6] before going that far with someone, as a matter of course. I have had no undesirable results from this practice so far, and recent experience has taught me that encountering a negative reaction at that point would probably be a good early indicator of problems anyway.
So, on to the point of this post, if informing my friends wasn't point enough... What do you think? If you think you don't have it, why do you think that? I'll remind you again that you're probably wrong. Are common social customs and assumptions/expectations with regard to STDs hypocritical[7] or unrealistic[8]? Is this post going to cause you to change anything about your sexual behavior, or at least think on the subject more often? Have you learned anything from it other than how verbose I am?
I hope some of you come away from this post, or the ensuing comment threads, better off in some way, even if that way is only knowing not to kiss me in the future.
[1] HSV-1 very rarely presents as genital sores, and HSV-2 rarely presents as oral sores.
[2] I haven't watched TV with commercials for more than an hour since the late 90s, but the concept of drug commercials is still common enough for this to be accurate in a more general sense.
[3] 10% of women with a single lifelong sexual partner have HSV-1, but of course having an STD means you must be a slut.
[4] If you do so more often because of this post, it will have served a purpose.
[5] I usually skip first and spend more time at second and third, for various reasons. Ignoring my specific case, this seems like a sound plan, in terms of STD avoidance.
[6] I am not certain that I have it. I haven't received my test results yet, and even then the false negative rate for HSV-1 is astonishing (50% or higher), especially in asymptomatic patients. But it seems safe to assume that I do, given my known exposure and the average infection rate. Even if I really don't have it, with 99% certainty I will have it within the next few years, despite falling in the bottom 10% of my acquaintances in terms of promiscuity.
[7] That is, do you apply the golden rule to STD information and risk?
[8] Expecting everyone to volunteer their STD status is unrealistic, both because no one actually knows their immediate status (at best, they know their status a few weeks or hours ago, depending on the STD), and because if it happened then STDs would (mostly) have already stopped spreading, except among people who consider the rewards worth the risk. Expecting everyone to answer honestly may be unrealistic, depending on how honest you think people are.
Cross posted to Livejournal, Facebook, and Fetlife.