(no subject)
I think gender can take a lesson from S/M: gender needs to be safe, sane, and consensual.
Gender is not safe.
If I change my gender, I'm at risk of homicide, suicide or a life devoid of half my possibilities.
If I'm born with a body that gives mixed gender signals, I'm at risk of being butchered - fixed, mutliated.
Gender is not safe.
And gender is not sane.
It's not sane to call a rainbow black and white.
It's not sane to demand we fit into one or the other only.
It's not sane that we classify people in order to oppress them as women or to glorify them as men.
Gender is not sane.
And gender is not consensual.
We're born: a doctor assigns us a gender. It's documented by the state, enforced by the legal profession, sanctified by the church, and it's bought and sold in the media.
We have no say in our gender - we're not allowed to question it, play with it, work it out with our friends, lovers, or family.
Gender is not consensual.
Safe gender is being who and what we want to be when we want to be that, with no threat of censure or violence.
Safe gender is going as far in any direction as we wish, with no threat to our health, or to anyone else's.
Safe gender is not being pressured into passing, not having to lie, not having to hide.
Sane gender is asking questions about gender - talking to people who do gender, and opening up about our gender histories and our gender desires.
Sane gender is probably very, very funny.
Consensual gender is respecting each others' definitions of gender, and respecting the wishes of some to be alone, and respecting the intention of others to be inclusive in their own time.
Consensual gender is non-violent in that it doesn't force its way in on anyone.
Consensual gender opens its arms and welcomes all people as gender outcasts - whoever is willing to admit to it.
Gender has a lot to learn from S/M
And we who know S/M are a lot further along the road to safe, sane, consensual gender play than we may realize.
We just need to apply the basics.
-Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaw, page 124.
Gender is not safe.
If I change my gender, I'm at risk of homicide, suicide or a life devoid of half my possibilities.
If I'm born with a body that gives mixed gender signals, I'm at risk of being butchered - fixed, mutliated.
Gender is not safe.
And gender is not sane.
It's not sane to call a rainbow black and white.
It's not sane to demand we fit into one or the other only.
It's not sane that we classify people in order to oppress them as women or to glorify them as men.
Gender is not sane.
And gender is not consensual.
We're born: a doctor assigns us a gender. It's documented by the state, enforced by the legal profession, sanctified by the church, and it's bought and sold in the media.
We have no say in our gender - we're not allowed to question it, play with it, work it out with our friends, lovers, or family.
Gender is not consensual.
Safe gender is being who and what we want to be when we want to be that, with no threat of censure or violence.
Safe gender is going as far in any direction as we wish, with no threat to our health, or to anyone else's.
Safe gender is not being pressured into passing, not having to lie, not having to hide.
Sane gender is asking questions about gender - talking to people who do gender, and opening up about our gender histories and our gender desires.
Sane gender is probably very, very funny.
Consensual gender is respecting each others' definitions of gender, and respecting the wishes of some to be alone, and respecting the intention of others to be inclusive in their own time.
Consensual gender is non-violent in that it doesn't force its way in on anyone.
Consensual gender opens its arms and welcomes all people as gender outcasts - whoever is willing to admit to it.
Gender has a lot to learn from S/M
And we who know S/M are a lot further along the road to safe, sane, consensual gender play than we may realize.
We just need to apply the basics.
-Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaw, page 124.