(no subject)
So stressed.
2 days left of this class and my brain is definitely fried. I have been like stressed out for the past.. I don't even know. I can't function right haha (yesterday at work I TOTALLY blanked out on where my timeee sheet went!! lol "HOW long have you been working here???")
I think it's got to do with my crazy asss serious caffffeine addiction (yeah, NO JOKE)and then the fact that I push myself to do so much. Therefore, these variabless are dependent upon each other...yeeesh, CALCULUSSSSS!
The other day at work on Friday night I got kinda lost for the first time getting to a clubbb alone in Springfieldddd (I had 2 conflicting directions in hand) and I really wanted to cry when I finally got there, I was so frustrated with myself even though it turns out that it wasn't a big deal as my boss told me.
I am so motivated to get outta school & get outta this house & have FREEDOM to do my own stuff. I feel kinda trapped wherever I go; be it school or home. I want my own apartment & life. My OWN space. I realize that comes with time, but stiiiiiiill...
So far, everything is up to me. I guess I'm happy with my life for the most part where it currently is.
So far, things are gradually adding up. For one, I almost completely paid off my credit cardS (those things are pure EVIL!!) & I'm getting closer and closer of being more financially stable & debt free. Which totally rocks. <3. I guess it's a HUGE step process of dealing with one problem and moving on to the next. I enjoy being in control of my own life & that's the way it's going even though I really have trivial, unneccessary stress at this point in my life. Stuff that's manageable, I just have to manage it better & that's what I gotta work on.
It's up to me to bust my ass. It's up to me to keep that final grade of an A for calculussss in school(I have NO IDEA how I managed that..I'm a fuckin genious & the weird part is that I don't like math!) and I busted my ass to get all A's this past semester as well.
Go me.
I only do it for the satisfaction of MYSELF considering I am living for MYSELF and no one else.
But again I think to myself, back to the time a bouncer at a club was talking to me and said: "But is it all worth it right now?"
I think about that every day.
Everyday I wonder if I'm making the right decisions, but really, what ARE the right decisions and how do you know if you made them?
Everyday is a step closer to attaining my goals.
Everyday is 24 hours closer to the future.
As Josh told me "Life is short, live for the stuff that matters most" (he's so inspiring <3)
xoxoxo
2 days left of this class and my brain is definitely fried. I have been like stressed out for the past.. I don't even know. I can't function right haha (yesterday at work I TOTALLY blanked out on where my timeee sheet went!! lol "HOW long have you been working here???")
I think it's got to do with my crazy asss serious caffffeine addiction (yeah, NO JOKE)and then the fact that I push myself to do so much. Therefore, these variabless are dependent upon each other...yeeesh, CALCULUSSSSS!
The other day at work on Friday night I got kinda lost for the first time getting to a clubbb alone in Springfieldddd (I had 2 conflicting directions in hand) and I really wanted to cry when I finally got there, I was so frustrated with myself even though it turns out that it wasn't a big deal as my boss told me.
I am so motivated to get outta school & get outta this house & have FREEDOM to do my own stuff. I feel kinda trapped wherever I go; be it school or home. I want my own apartment & life. My OWN space. I realize that comes with time, but stiiiiiiill...
So far, everything is up to me. I guess I'm happy with my life for the most part where it currently is.
So far, things are gradually adding up. For one, I almost completely paid off my credit cardS (those things are pure EVIL!!) & I'm getting closer and closer of being more financially stable & debt free. Which totally rocks. <3. I guess it's a HUGE step process of dealing with one problem and moving on to the next. I enjoy being in control of my own life & that's the way it's going even though I really have trivial, unneccessary stress at this point in my life. Stuff that's manageable, I just have to manage it better & that's what I gotta work on.
It's up to me to bust my ass. It's up to me to keep that final grade of an A for calculussss in school(I have NO IDEA how I managed that..I'm a fuckin genious & the weird part is that I don't like math!) and I busted my ass to get all A's this past semester as well.
Go me.
I only do it for the satisfaction of MYSELF considering I am living for MYSELF and no one else.
But again I think to myself, back to the time a bouncer at a club was talking to me and said: "But is it all worth it right now?"
I think about that every day.
Everyday I wonder if I'm making the right decisions, but really, what ARE the right decisions and how do you know if you made them?
Everyday is a step closer to attaining my goals.
Everyday is 24 hours closer to the future.
As Josh told me "Life is short, live for the stuff that matters most" (he's so inspiring <3)
xoxoxo