Eyeball Madness
We're starting on day three of "eyeball watch". My plan for Thursday was to have Brad take me to the lasix clinic at 8am, and be at work by 10 (this is where you start laughing at my ignorance.) Brad was a trooper, waiting patiently for two hours while they double checked my eye measurements, checked them again with a second machine, then told me that I may not be a csndidate after all.
I expected this. No conversation with an eyecare professional has ever ended been a good one. Usually it runs along the lines of, "Say, Mr. Ferguson, did you know that you have the worst (fill in the blank) we've ever seen?" So I don't get excited where my eyes are concerned. Ever.
They did one last definitive test where they deaden your eyeball and touch it with a probe to see exactly how thin your corneas are, and they discovered that my eye is so peculiarly shaped on the inside that it was throwing off the results of the first two tests. And just like that, I'm a candidate again.
Then I signed a buttload of forms and climbed onto a big, humming machine. They rinsed my eyes, deadened them again, and put a spindly little contraption onto my eyelids so they couldn't close during the procedure. I wasn't looking forward to that, but it really wasn't bad. I imagined that I would have to resist the urge to blink, but it simply wasn't there.
They just maneuvered my face underneath a big, glowing ring and fifteen seconds later, it was done. The machine made a loud tapping noise (at about 240 beats per minute, if you're interested) and I watched in mute fascination as the clearly defined white ring got cloudier.and cloudier. Then they wet my eye down again and squeegeed off the... ahem - "removed material" and put a big contact lens in.to protect my cornea while it healed.
I'm a wimp where pain is concerned, and I'm a double-puss where eyeballs come into the picture. But this didn't hurt a bit. They didn't even have to slice off the top of the cornea like most places do, which is one of the reasons I chose this particular clinic.
Then came the list of restrictions. No pets for three days. No ceiling fans for SIX WEEKS. And, something they failed to mention but I just read in the handout, no aerobic sports for 2 weeks. F* me! I thought having no fans was bad, but that part just sucks! Oh, and no showers for three days either. I am seriously not in the mood for a bath, but I may have to let some low-pressure water trickle through my hair. My scalp is starting to itch disgustingly.
The upshot is, I can *sort of* see without my glasses now. They had to do a LOT of material removal, so it's going to take a while before my eyes are back to feeling normal. Right now, my vision is similar to what happens when you wake up after a long night's sleep if you have a cold and your eyes are all gunked up. I had a follow-up yesterday, and the doctor seemed pleased by my progress. I can already read the 20/60 line of the eye chart, which is about three lines better than what he says I should. I am encouraged.
So there we are. I've got four kinds of eye drops, two pain killers, two vitamins, and a horse-pill of an antibiotic to take several times a day, and these magnificently dorky goggles to wear 24/7 for the next few days. Evan picked a great weekend to be out of town - I can keep the house dark and quiet for two solid days.
My plans for this weekend include... nothing. I obviously can't mow the yard, cleaning house is out because of the dust and chemicals, reading is still an eyestrain, and I can't really work out hard, although I may cheat a bit and lift some moderate weights that won't leave me sweating up a storm.
Have a great one, y'all!